Tonight is the final Crone Moon, New Moon, of 2016.
The Crone Moon is our releasing Moon, she is our wise Moon and with her comes the opportunity to shed all that we no longer need emotionally.
I don’t need to tell you that this year has been intense, cosmically a lot has happened, from the departure of a huge number of our great souls to a great amount of shockingly upsetting and surprising decisions made politically throughout the world.
Thankfully, for me, I don’t get caught up in the stories of the world, it’s easy for me to identify them as a part of the matrix, the cosmic illusion, and I do believe we are in the era of the Kali Yuga. I see these upsets as a sign that we are going through swift and powerful transformations. Though I was deeply affected by the loss of some of our great artists I grieve not being able to hear their beauty in this realm created new and fresh again.
On a personal level, anyone that might be following this blog will remember that we lost my father-in-law to a surprise brain cancer diagnosis at the beginning of the year, he was diagnosed at the end of January and gone by the end of May, in between this devastating process we walked through a miscarriage. Right after his passing I became pregnant again, a huge blessing to be sure, but it was a lot to process as my marriage faced it’s first real struggle while my husband navigated the deep waters of grief like he never had before.
September felt things lightening for me, I wonder if that is so for others as well, certainly we continued to loose some greats and to have some shocking choices made after September *ahem Trump*, however, life began to lighten for me. A lot of people are looking forward to 2017 as being the lifting of this tough year, and I truly feel that it will be a lighter year for sure, I personally began to feel that lightening closer to the Autumn Equinox.
It is so fitting that we close this year with a Capricorn Crone Moon. Capricorn is the wise elder, the matriarch of the zodiac, her presence guiding the emotionally releasing energy of the Crone Moon promises all of us the opportunity to fully process and shed whatever remnants might remain of this past year.
As I mentioned above, I’m feeling pretty light and cleared, I walked through a lot during the past year. A big chunk of this year was about finding my own joy and claiming it. I hadn’t realized how dependent I was on my husband to create the joy, the playfulness, fun and positivity in our life until he no longer could.
I acted out at first, trying to get more and more dark, broody, disapproving, anything to awaken that perpetual bright light of optimism in him to come and lift me up, it had the opposite affect however and he drew further away from me. Eventually I had to fake the joy so that our daughter wasn’t living in a heavy home, as I began to fake it I began to crave it and I had to stop going to him to make it so for me.
As I let him be, and for a while came to terms with the fact that we may end up in a pretend marriage (I can be quite fatalistic) and focused on finding my joy for myself to enjoy, life became happier. I made new friendships, began to celebrate a new pregnancy, revelled in the sweetness that is my daughter, and attracted a spiritual community that is just springing up in our small town that had a place for me to serve from.
While I did this work on myself my husband processed his grief, did his own work and as the year is coming to an end him and I have found our way back to each other. Him with a lot less pressure on his shoulders to make me brighter than I am and me with a stronger sense of self and a deeply mature feeling of reverence and respect for the sanctity of marriage as the path we have chosen to walk.
Our anniversary was this past Winter Solstice, it was a time of deep reflection for me, I felt as though we had passed through an archway of new, puppy love into one of deep committed love. I have been wild about my husband since I first met him, we have both been immature in our love, and this year has matured us. What I feel coming up to be finalized in it’s release tonight is all that the Maiden in me clung to in the illusion of romantic love as a saviour.
With the right man, the right group of girlfriends, and the right look all would be well in my life. My girlfriends would be my ever-steady, never wavering source of feminine emotional touchstones, and the man in my life would fill me with such a sense of love and passion that life would never be the same, I’d be on fire for life because of the people in it. I’ve known for a long time that people are fallible and that the eternal nature of themselves that brought me joy were merely extensions of the same Source within me, however, that truth has sunk down from the cerebral portion of my brain into the deeper regions of soul consciousness.
I release the people in my life from the responsibility of adding anything to me, joy, security, faith, worth, all of it. As I release the people in my life from the bondage of tending to my needy ego I am able to appreciate and love them in a new way, for who they are, not for what they do for me. In this way every day is like falling in love with the people in my life all over again, I see my husband, my friends, my parents, my daughter as unique individuals, with amazing paths and beautiful expressions of Divinity shining in my life, they no longer become cut out models of aspects of self that I desperately seek through them. What a freedom!
I feel as though this is an opportunity for all of us on a collective level. So much has happened, we said goodbye to beautiful souls, we had terrifying egos come into power, we had despicable acts against humanity and the environment occur, and yet, in the midst of all of this we were challenged to stay in our joy, to continue to raise our vibration for the good of the whole. There were some situations that our ego couldn’t surmount on it’s own and all that we were left with was the stark reality that some things outside of ourselves would never be under our sole control, but that, despite what happened in the world we were Sovereign beings that got to choose what happened within our consciousness.
Of course, the great paradox here, is that the more I stop trying to control the 3D illusion around me and the more I focus on my internal world, the more things start to seem to straighten out in the matrix, if all of us bring our focus towards our joy and raising our vibration what kind of change and shift might we see on a cosmic level in this next year? The possibilities are endless.
2016 was a year when the Goddess woke us up to the fact that it was time to grow up spiritually, and this meant to stop relying on outside sources to be our Source. The Capricorn Crone is here to take all of our old dependencies from us, to clear us and to leave us as open containers, ready to receive the full lunar and solar light of the Mother/Father Divine within our souls and spirits, readying us to be shining lights upon a new era as a new year dawns.
To all of you, thank you for walking with me this past year and a great many blessings for you into the next year and beyond.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
The moon is in her new phase tonight, she is under the astrological sign of Gemini, giving us a Gemini Crone Moon.
Gemini Crone’s are so much fun, they have the unbridled, spirit connection that is freed from a great majority of the earth-bound heaviness that mother aged women have and they have their perpetual maiden energy, their quick mind, hunt for fun and love of mischief all rolled up into one radical and zany package.
Gemini’s need to live in two worlds at once to truly feel calm, they are from the fairy realm and they move quicker than the speed of light.
Crone Moon’s are all about release, with the airy influence of fey Gemini here tonight, our release can be quick and encompass many different subjects.
For myself the idea of parallel realities is what is coming up to be investigated. For years now I have felt myself shift in and out of subtle reality shifts, similar to the movie Vanilla Sky, when Tom Cruise’s character begins to shout out “it’s a nightmare, I’m in a nightmare,” my tough days get shifted when I sense that I am in the wrong reality, the sensation is comparable to lucid dreaming. I then shift into the ‘good’ reality.
Since my move a year ago I have been integrating different energies. The place that I moved from was very light, airy, watery and full of ethereal beings. Where I now live is earthy, grounded and full of solid and practical folks. The spirit work that I do here feels as though it takes a longer to gain momentum, but it also creates lasting rivets in my reality. Shifting from the ‘bad’ reality takes more time for me here than it did there but it also creates strong and lasting change. I’m learning how to navigate more earthy energies and the stronger I get at it the freer I feel.
Last week I returned back West. It was a real moment of grace that resulted in a paid trip for my daughter and I, this trip occurred after walking through a miscarriage and the death of my father-in-law.
The first 48 hours that I walked along the lush streets that I called home for 10 years I felt completely ungrounded and lost in the ethers. As I prayed and did some root chakra kundalini yoga I began to land in my body and in the city.
As I walked I prayed, what did the strong emotions I was encountering mean?
What came to me was a visceral sense that the city had been the Mother Goddess to me, She had held me as I healed and that while I will continue to heal as new wounds are cut, my past is laid to rest, my trauma, my wounds have been healed. I am whole. As I contemplated the healing that the city had offered me I felt myself letting go of a year’s worth of stress since my move and I felt as though I was back to be rejuvenated, the following morning my friend texted me asking “how’s the healing going?” I hadn’t told anybody about my thoughts surrounding the city healing me, I stood frozen as I read the text, it took me a moment to realize he was asking about the miscarriage, I’m sure the universe was writing through him, because as I read the text it became apparent to me that I was also there to heal from my miscarriage.
That night the woman who had flown me announced that she would have to do this more often, suddenly, my decade long dream of being able to live in two worlds, west and east became a possibility and the thought of only having six days to spend in the city was alleviated, I would be back, I could just enjoy my time.
I spent the rest of my trip soaking up all of the energies that I missed, visiting the sacred book store, the crystal shops, the lush rainforest, drinking it all in. I felt a crystal calling to me and I was led to her, I began to fill her with the essence of the west coast to take home with me.
Before we decided to move I made a commitment to focus on what I loved about the west coast and about what I loved about moving away, I didn’t want to diminish the city by picking out its flaws in order to feel better about leaving. During this trip I focused on what I loved about the west, what I loved that I had left and what I loved that my family and the Creator have been creating in our new home.
Returning to the west I felt as though I had never left, it’s as if I am still living there, in another reality, while I’mm living here in this reality that I’m aware of. My crystal symbolizes a merging of both worlds, I have brought back the energies of the west that I love and I have that energy here with me in this energy. I have much work left to do here in our new home, learning how to dig into the earth energies and how to rise up as well.
As tonight’s Crone Gemini Moon looms high above and aids us all in shedding I am shedding the parts of me that aren’t truly me, the accumulated energies that I have allowed into my auric field, a preoccupation with finances, a tighter and more stern energy, these are energies that I have accumulated since my move. I am also releasing a sense of wandering and never truly settling down from my other reality, I am letting go of cool walls that keep other at a distance. I am shedding all that doesn’t serve me in both realities, I am calling on the Gemini Crone to work with the twin energies of contradiction within me and asking that she aid me in shedding both sides of the same coins that I am ready to let go of.
Too much focus on the material/denial of the material
Too much heaviness/ too much flightiness
Too much focus on the practical/ too much focus on the etheral
Too much dependance on others/ too much self-reliance
What a fantastic, quick moving and magical moon we have with us tonight. I invite all of you to work with the twin energies of Gemini tonight and the wisdom of the Crone moon, allowing her to cleanse you and to release you from both sides of the coin that seems to be hindering your walk at this time. As these coins are dropped and we are cleared of the energies that influence us but aren’t truly of us we open up room to plant seeds during the maiden moon, our next phase, seeds of intention to intend that nothing influence us besides the Divine within.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from : https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/58/07/b7/5807b7c6d41eb01239d16beb4775cee2.jpg
I am moved out of the countryside, out of the big city and finally settled into a small town, what a lot of upheaval for this security loving Taurus moon Mama. Now that I am out of the country I have my internet service back, which means the freedom to get my writing done whenever I like (provided my dear sweet clinging Maiden is happy with her hard working Daddy watching her while I do).
I feel like a lifetime has passed since my last moon blog post, I can’t remember if it was the Mother moon or the Crone moon that I wrote on last. What I am left with today is such a tremendous amount of shifting, transcending, shedding and awakening to reflect on that I feel lost about the direction of tonight’s post. I have moved into a new home, held my first Goddess Gathering with a group of women in our home, been cast as the lead role beside my husband in a play and have had a huge amount of support within my home these past two and a half weeks with my mother in law arriving. If I try to weave everything that has occurred into one coherent blog post I fear I will end up writing a novel. So I shall start with the beautiful, magical, intimidating moon.
The moon is new tonight, she is under the astrological sign of Scorpio, giving us a Scorpio Crone moon. Scorpio is such an intense and destructive sign, when she merges with the dark moon of death and release her energy is powerfully eery and foreboding. I don’t know if it is because I have such strong Scorpio influence, (Scorpio sun, mercury and uranus) that I find these dark and intense nights to be relieving, peaceful and even joyous, or if it’s just a part of my personal oddity. Whatever the reason, I have always found the bright and cheery energy of Leo summers and the sweet and romantic sense of Taurus springs to be much more challenging and unsettling than dark, chilly Scorpio mooned nights like tonight.
My cycle is the opposite of the moon, when she is new and in the Crone phase of release, the time when women have traditionally bled, I am full and fertile. When she is in her Mother phase, and bright and full and robust, I am bleeding and emptying. Beyond the constant balancing act that I experience each month with these opposing energies, is the support that I receive. For me, the Crone moon is my energy moontime, the time when my energetic, more subtle, higher vibrational self sheds and let’s go of all that is not serving or has served it’s purpose.
The date today is 11/11 a blessed combination, 11/11, according to Doreen Virtue, is a message from your angels to become aware of your thoughts and what it is that you are focusing upon, for this is what will be brought about. Not a personal practitioner of manifestation, I recognize the challenge of this 11/11 combination with tonights’ moon. The Crone moon in Scorpio is all about releasing the dark, the hidden, the shadow self. Scorpio is the investigator, she uncovers what others dare not look at, she brings to light the taboo and she kills off all that is dead and unwanted. To look at all of these darker aspects when the 11/11 vibration is wanting to birth what it is that we are focusing upon is quite scary.I see the combination of this number sequence with this moon phase as a reminder to stay out of the head tonight and to go deep into the womb, the energetic cauldron of our power, mystery and blood.
Your inner cauldron holds all that you desire, all that you hold true and all that nourishes you, within this womb space is the energies that we receive into us, consciously and unconsciously, thus a cleansing of our inner cauldron creates a purified space for intentional energy to grow and to spread within us. Tonight’s moon is reminding me to feel into my womb and to release, to let go of the need to know what it is and why it’s there, to trust that I can navigate my energy without needing to intellectually process or analyze the mask, the story that covers the energy.
This is good news for me, as my focus really is very positive (not a natural state for me) right now, I am focusing on all that I am appreciative of and the many ways that grace has been appearing in my life. These recognitions will feed the 11/11 energy as I focus on all of the ways that I am supported and cared for.
My Taurus moon, Scorpio Sun and Capricorn Venus hold my strongest personal shadows, for me it is all about security and safety, Taurus needs, as well as trust, a Scorpio need, and control a Scorpio/Capricorn need. Grace fills these vast needs for me when I let go and allow grace to lead my way.
I am feeling the release of the moon deeply as the evening grows darker, I am feeling into what needs to be released and I sense a tightening within the pit of my stomach, a knot that is tying itself tighter and tighter behind my fourth chakra and a sinking sense within my gut. These sensations exist simultaneously, side by side with my peace and my joy, oh what a beautifully strange paradox life in the human realm is. The big release, the offering that I am asking for the wise old Scorpio Crone , the witch archetype, to take from me, is the release of habitual energetic patterns. Namely, the cycle of ease, peace and relief into seeking ,hyperawareness, anxiety and unrest. This is a cycle that was created in childhood. I was not born with it, I remember what it felt like in my body before this cycle existed, it has been with me the majority of my life but it is not of me. Tonight I offer it up to the Scorpio Crone expression of the Divine.
I love following the moon cycles and the astrological and feminine archetypes that she holds, to me they are all many faces of the One Divine Source, reminders of all of the intricate ways that I can call upon the Creator to purify, sanctify and light up my life. I fall at the feet of the Scorpio Crone in reverence and awe tonight.
I felt the cycle gearing up within me when my husband walked through the door tonight, that cycle of dis-ease creeping up my skin, crawling into my belly and making a nest to grow. My husband has a task that he has been in the very long process of completing, something that affects us both, and I want it done yesterday and I am not comfortable with my inability to do it for him. This part of me is the very large Capricorn influence that I have, my Venus (feminine self) my life task as well as the ruler of my home and family house (the 4th house) is all ruled by Capricorn, the manager. I felt that energy climbing into my joyful womb, a space that had been revelling in our new home, the beauty of my daughter’s childhood, a sacred and moving citizenship ceremony that my husband received yesterday, (the culmination of a six and a half year journey for us), the comfort of having my mother in law with us and all that she has done to ease the burdens of our day to day life, my womb space had been bright with this happy and settled energy and still I could feel myself preparing for the turn of the wheel, for the next sense of unease and anxiety to roll on in and with my husband’s arrival home the cycle found it’s food to feed the unease that had been starved while I had been revelling in joy.
My relief is that what I expect is much less dreadful than I once did and the joy that I anticipate is much happier and larger than I once ever believed possible. In fact the unease that I was preparing for felt so small that I had hope that I might be ready to fully unwind this cycle and release it into the ethers. With my cycle being opposite of the moon and this being my energetic moontime I will give myself two weeks to fully unwind, I will finish this release on the full moon with my moonblood. I encourage anyone else that cycles opposite of the moon to pay attention to what you shed tonight, and to continue to shed right into the next moontime that you receive, allow the flow of your blood to purify the last of tonights release.
For the rest of the evening I am setting my focused intention on releasing all that is not in alignment with peace. In my prayers this past month I have been instructed to “just love”, what a simple and obvious message, yet when I apply it to my husband it is a lifetimes’ worth of work, the culmination of the true commitment that I made in becoming his wife. Offering love and leaving his journey to him and his Creator and going within, to my source of grace for the fulfillment of my needs is the true intention that I had when I married my Beloved, tonight I recommit to that pledge.
In the face of the death and destruction that the Scorpio Crone brings I am left bare and holding onto the one constant in my life, grace. Grace that has always shown up as exactly what I need the moment I needed it.
I say goodbye to anxiety and self will, I release you and welcome your destruction, there is none so powerful as a Scorpio expression of Source to take you from my life. And I welcome you grace, my constant companion, to reign supreme in my life, taking up all of the space that the anxiety once claimed. This is my proclamation and my intentional statement on the Scorpio Crone Moon, what will yours be?
I wish each and everyone of you a blessed Scorpio Crone Moon, may your release be deep and eternal.
image taken from: http://www.karmictools.com/KT-Admin/images/Cerridwen-CIR.JPG
It is so soothing to be taking this time to check in for the Leo Crone moon. I missed the Capricorn Mother Moon post as I was away on vacation for my brother’s wedding. Like every other month, the Mother Moon is the moon that I shed my blood on, I had a light release this month, though the week leading up to the Mother Moon felt full and charged with tension for me.
Now that I am settling back into our shared home and getting into a routine with my Maiden I feel as though the tensions are melting away. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts the Crone Moon (New Moon) is the phase of the moon that women used to all bleed with, this phase of the moon empties our wombs and connects us together as women. With the introduction of electrical light, chemical birth control and electronics of many forms our bodies lost the pure link with the moon’s cycle and we now cycle at different times of the month. There is a beautiful magic that still exists when a group of women live together or spend a lot of time together that links each woman’s cycle together, perhaps some of you have a few sisters, mothers or aunties that you share a moon cycle with.
Regardless of our personal cycle, the Crone Moon is still a time when our energetic womb space sheds all of the accumulated energy of the prior month that we are ready or willing to release. This moon phase is one where we as women are energetically depleted and it is the perfect time for us to slow down, to pamper ourselves, to gather in circle with other women, and to receive the wisdom of our elders as we once did within the red tents. Each Crone Moon is influenced by the astrological sign that she falls under, this month’s influence is the Leo Goddess Archetype.
Leo energy and I are like oil and water….or perhaps more aptly put fire and water 😉 I am a water sign through and through and the intensity, the extroversion, the loudness of the Leo roar, the heat! all of it has felt so uncomfortable and irritating to me for such a long time. So much so that I used to find myself avoiding Leo women all together as I found their presence to be too overwhelming and showy. It was not without much good humour that I learnt that the first Priestess that mentored me is a Leo, I adore this woman and am in contact with her today. As her and I worked together I spent a month relating to the elements, one week for each element, the week of fire I resisted. I just did not resonate with the fire element. Since my walk with the fire element during that week of intention my experience of all things fire has shifted.
I began to enjoy the summer season, a season that felt too high energy and blinding to me in the past. I began to meet more and more Leo women that just charmed me right out of my introverted shell. I began to admire the full bellied, untamed laughter that came from these regal women’s bellies. I related to the fierce loyalty that they exude (Scorpio’s are loyal to their death), I remembered their essence of wildness as one that I once knew in my Maiden years, their unapologetic presence in a room as they shone as brightly as they could became a real source of inspiration and elevation for me.
That being said, the past Lion’s Gate Stargate that just opened was intense for me, it brought forth a high temperature in my daughter which turned into a week long health struggle and I have spent the past week playing nurse and doctor.
Today, the day of the Crone Moon, is the first day that I’ve had to truly unwind. My sweet girl is finally on the mend, the level of anxiety that I vibrated at this week was as intense as the Leo sun. I brought her to see a doctor, twice, and accepted the medicine that they prescribed. I am not a fan of medication and don’t easily trust the western medical system. I spent a few days in knots until I found the balance and began to utilize my natural remedies as well. The moment I began to administer coconut oil, probiotics and an ionic mouth spray my soul just fell at ease. It’s of no surprise that my daughter turned a corner within 24 hours of receiving these natural remedies. I was reminded of my energy training days, I was taught that unlike the medical system we were not to believe that it was holistic treatments or nothing, we were looking to bridge the gap between medical practice and holistic practice. I found what I needed to support my daughter as she cycles through her meds.
I reflected today, as I read a few paragraphs from Women Who Run with the Wolves, about the past week. I was so scared when my daughter’s fever wouldn’t break, I was so uncertain of the doctor that I saw, I was so unsure about trusting holistic medicine solely, I was so unsure in general. I became so panicked when other symptoms popped up throughout the week that I just couldn’t get quiet enough to listen to my gut. In all of this anxiety I was distracted from some of my decorum and began to snap a bit at my Mom and Dad, something I have strived to really resist while we are staying at their place. While being snappy is not my intended way of being, it reminded me of my wild self, my untamed inner Lioness. In my Maiden years I was unfiltered, unrestrained, unapologetic. And while being completely untamed led to some irresponsible life choices, it did hold within it fire, passion, freedom and a true wild spirit.
As the Leo Crone Moon pulls on me, she also teaches me. The Crones teach the women who bleed in the red tent, and this Leo Crone is reminding me to keep my fire alit, to speak my mind, to trust my gut and to stop avoiding other people’s reactions. I was so certain when I was younger, I had the gift of arrogant innocence and was fuelled to explain why my way was right whenever I was questioned. I have since become much quieter with age and prefer to flow, to float and to be undisturbed, this desire for a clear stream to flow down has at times watered me down and I am hearing the message of the Leo Crone loud and clear, “flow with passion, be at peace when the stream is easy and clear but also rage with destruction when the river of life bends and there are rocks to crash against.” Water is the strongest of the elements because nothing can stop her, I cannot turn into a puddle whenever an impediment presents itself.
I am here to be my full radiant self. I am here to be bold. I am here to sparkle and to shine.
When I became a mother security and safety became so important to me, I wanted to know that there was a secure home for my baby, a steady inflow of abundance to sustain us. Home and abundance were always subjects that I surrendered to Grace and just trusted, I began to loose this trust when my baby was born, for no reason other than giving birth tied me to this realm a bit stronger than before. I’ve had to work at balancing this greater degree of groundedness with a greater degree of higher awareness. My desire for security has compromised my authentic self. I have held my tongue when letting loose would have served my spirit, smiled when I felt like hissing, quietly walked away when standing my ground would have honoured my integrity.
I am so very grateful for the Leo Crone tonight, so very grateful to remember that my fire is still burning within and that I can choose to unleash my wild self whenever I choose to.
Tonight I release all of the conditioning that I have allowed to temporarily tame me. I release masks, I release civility, I relase inauthenticity. I give it all up and place it into the lap of the Leo Crone in preparation to step under the Maiden phase of the moon in a few days time.
My intention that I will plant when I am finished releasing and have come under the Maiden moon, is to learn how to be a wild mother, a wild wife, a wild homemaker, a wild writer, a wild Priestess, a wild woman in all phases of my life.
Tonight I feel the wild Crone close to my belly, I feel her lighting me up and my inner Maiden is dancing an unabashed dance of jubilation as she is awoken and released.
I hope dear sisters and brothers, that tonights Leo Crone Moon inspires you to get a little wilder too, to drop the masks and to live for the full forced expression of your true, bright, insanely Divine selves.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly ✨
image taken from: http://s19.photobucket.com/user/She8Art/media/more%20art/AngelWildGoddess.jpg.html
The Crone Moon is back, wise, dark and mysterious in the sky. On the previous Crone Moon I was living in the West, free, busy, surrounded by like spirited souls. Life was full, it was noisy and it was fast paced living in the colourful big city I had moved to years ago.
This Crone Moon I am sitting in quiet, free but oh so much more connected to receiving help, which to my ego can feel like being dependent, as I live temporarily with my husband and daughter in my childhood home. I am surrounded by stillness, slowness and not so many like spirited souls as of yet.
The Crone Moon is the New Moon, the phase of the moon that pulls on the tides in women’s bodies, the phase which traditionally all women bled on together.
My body is not synced with the moon right now, a lot of women’s aren’t, however, I have found that as I cycle through my body’s phases, I also cycle through the moon’s phases and so while my body is not bleeding my energy is.
Energetically women are being cleansed, drained and pulled upon on the new moon. Long ago I would have bled into the earth with the other women in my tribe and the grandmothers, the crones, would have shared their wisdom and offered lessons and guidance to me as I emptied myself of the past month’s accumulated energies, which play out as thoughts, emotions and physical ailments, the wise crones would fill my vessel with new life and old traditions. This is the phase of the moon when our Goddess Gatherings would gather in Vancouver, when we would gather together at this time we would simulate the red tents that our ancestors once gathered in.
When our Goddess Gatherings would come together we filled each other up. Each month one of us Goddesses would take a turn sharing her personal wisdom, gift or passion with the group, we would eat vegan food, come together in meditation and then receive from our sister that was guiding us for the month. These gatherings shaped my journey and nourished me for years. The last few years that we all gathered I helped the founder, Bliss Prema, organize and gather the women, after Bliss moved to the island it was all in my hands. A great sacred honour that became a bit heavy after I became pregnant. From my pregnancy onwards the Goddess Gatherings in Vancouver had fallen away. I began to honour the Crone Moon on my own and created a happy private sacred space for myself every month when my Beloved and my Maiden would go out of the house leaving me to practice my Priestess craft.
Life was getting cramped, loud and overstimulated for me in the big city, small apartment and growing daughter days and evenings. The private Crone ceremonies were what I needed, but I needed more, even though I couldn’t see it at the time.
I’ve been in this small, rural, quiet green town for a few weeks now. I feel my spirit expanding, I spend my days outdoors, surrounded by Mother Gaia and I am called once again to gather women together. I feel now that I have needed to be in circle for a long time, I just couldn’t hear this message with all of the congestion I was living in. Once I began to receive the calling to gather women together, here where I have moved, I prayed and began to open the way for Spirit to move. I have not yet attracted my circle and the message I received was a very “if you build it they will come,” instruction, and so I planned to travel to the lake, to hold my sacred, private ceremony and to create the space and the intention for a new Goddess Gathering on the East Coast to begin. As I opened up to Goddess and the land an energetic pull would go out magnetizing whomever would benefit from a Goddess Gathering to me in the upcoming months. I shared my plans with my Taurean mother who responded that she would like to join me, and so the plan became that I, the Scorpio sun daughter would lead my opposite signed Taurus sunned mother though a new moon ceremony under the Taurus Crone Moon.
I almost backed out today, holding ceremony is such a sacred and vulnerable act, when I was in Priestess training I avoided leading ceremony with the Priestess I was studying under every time that we would meet. Finally one day she said “I don’t understand it, I keep intending to have you lead us through a ceremony and then our time finishes and we haven’t done it.” I admitted to her that I was in huge resistance and we both marvelled at the power that my resistance held. Eventually I walked through the resistance and found that I absolutely adore holding ceremony, yet a ceremony for two felt intimate and with that woman being my mother I was afraid of being even more exposed. My secretive Scorpio soul prefers to be anonymous and unseen. But I breathed, went within and saw the larger picture, the beauty and the significance in coming together with my blood lineage and practicing such a magical and ancient rite together. I saw our grandmothers standing behind us as we came together in ceremony, I saw our wombs beating the same beat and I saw the first of many women to come and to join me in circle on this patch of land that I am now calling home.
So it was that we packed up the car, my husband, mother, father, daughter and I and went to have a picnic on the beach, after we had feasted Mom and I ventured off to find our space of land to create our ceremonial gathering. I had been contemplating how this Goddess Gathering for two would go, the format loses some of it’s significance without a group, yet in other areas there would be more time and space to really share deeply from the heart…the intimacy piece, I let go of the how and trusted that Goddess would lead us.
We found a sandy space at the foot of a willowy dune, to the south was Lake Erie, big, bold and beautiful, as I lay down our blanket, crystals, candles, cards and sage the waves of Lady Lake crashed rhythmically. I haven’t had time to miss the Ocean yet I’ve been rekindling my love of the Great Lakes and her mighty waves and intoxicated by her fresh water scent.
This first Goddess Gathering unfolded part gathering/part ritual. After saging the circle and ourselves we shared about what Goddess meant to us, right away a new side to my mother was revealed, I had no idea what the term Goddess meant to her. I then led us through a guided meditation to clear and open the chakras, after the meditation we spoke out what we were releasing, what we were ready to let go of to the Crone moon, we then saged some more and followed the saging by drawing cards that revealed to us what seeds were being planted in the space that we had just created. We pulled cards for Self, Romantic relationship, Family and our Calling. As we journeyed deeper and deeper into our ritual my Mother and I began to share in the magic and power of ceremony, we shared with one another in a way that we never would have had the space not been created. My first Goddess Gathering after my big move was a wild success and has connected me to my bloodline, to the women that have walked before me, I felt this strongly as Mom and I held hands and stood barefoot atop the sand sending up a prayer of thanks to Grace and to the women whose wombs had birthed us forward.
The Taurus Crone Moon was a beginning moon for me, not only did I release but I cleared away a foundation upon which this new phase of my journey will be built. The Taurus archetype is all about the earth, comfort, sensuality, safety and security. Coming home I have begun to root, to feel the stability of family and community enveloping me, no longer do I feel like a flitting light in a large metropolis, rather am I a rainbow beam shining amongst the reeds in a warm pond. My mother is the Taurus Goddess archetype for me, I was raised by a Taurus Mother and she has instilled in me the value of enjoying life, staying connected to my roots and creating a stable home to always return to. Tonight I returned home to this land, up until tonight I had felt as if I was on a visit from the West, about to go back any moment, I knew in my head that I wasn’t going back, but it didn’t feel real. I was cleared by the Crone Moon tonight and I grounded into my new home, tonight my new home became real.
For tonight, wherever you are, whatever your journey, the Taurus Crone Moon supports you in releasing all that impedes your comfort and ease in life. A wise and grandmotherly presence looks over you and whispers that life’s too short to spend it wound up, pushing forward, grasping for achievements that are always just around the corner. The Taurus Crone Moon urges you to just let all of your worldly concerns go, to fall into the romantic May evening and to just be in the beauty and the romance of life. Tonight you can let go and you can begin a new journey, a journey that creates an inner home, a sanctuary of pleasure and romance and warmth and security. At her deepest level the Taurus Crone teaches you to seek deep within for the Home that resides inside of you, the opulent palace of love, joy, peace and grace that is always overflowing with abundant riches and sweets. Tonight, let go of every thought and action that keeps you from entering your inner opulent palace and lay down upon the soft bed that Grace has laid out for you and be in bliss.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
This month’s Crone Moon is a fiery one, it’s an Aries Crone Moon and I can feel the difference between this month’s Crone and last month’s easily.
Last month the Pisces Crone Moon was an ending of sorts for me, Pisces is the final sign of the zodiac and the dreamy, enlightened sign in the wise grandmother Crone Moon closed out the past years moons. I didn’t realize it at the time but a big layer of myself was being shed last month, and with this month’s Aries Crone I feel quickened, it is a lightening sort of release, one that feels Kali like, fast, sharp, to the point and productive.
The Crone aspect of the Moon empties us out, she pulls on the emotional tides within us and pulls us clean from all that we are willing to release. Aries is the youngest sign of the zodiac, the Maiden sign, this merging of the Maiden fire with Crone water creates a warmth, a boiling within.
I sensed this moon coming before I was aware that another Crone Moon was about to occur. My good friend Bliss Prema is in the process of writing her memoirs, during this time she was interviewed about the soul’s purpose, I watched this interview a few days ago, you can find it here : https://www.facebook.com/PriestessofGrace/photos/a.165236053576018.25096.125352237564400/353716594727962/?type=1&theater, and was inspired by the concepts of many soul purposes that Bliss shared about. As I contemplated these different purposes in my life I recalled when I had undergone past life regressions, at the end of each lifetime that I visited the hypnotherapist would ask me if I had completed my soul’s purpose in that lifetime and then she would ask me what it was. When we arrived at my current lifetime she asked my Higher Self what my soul’s purpose was in this lifetime, the response was that I was to learn how to enjoy life, to strive less, I had had plenty of lifetimes of great success, or diligent pursuits of accomplishment, I had even enjoyed being in positions of fame, this was a lifetime to just be in the experience. Rather than write about life I was to live it, the song is written about you not by you was the message that I received.
I contemplated how well I’ve lived this purpose, during some cycles of my life I have done quite well. When I met my husband I was just in the love, just allowing our love to blossom, our twin souls to reacquaint themselves. When I gave birth to my daughter I spent 40 days inside, bonding with her, stationary for the most part on the couch, just nursing her and drinking her in. I have had moments where I refuse to create unless the act to create is so strong that it moves through me. I have been so committed to the path of grace that I simply participate in what I am led to without thinking about what it means, where the particular activity will take me or get me. These are the moments when I have felt most at peace, most at-one with the Universe.
I have also had great, painful, soul wrenching moments in my life where I diligently discipline myself to sit down and create, to produce something, everyday. Where I force myself to work out, where I take any moments of quiet to study, to meditate, to do yoga, to pray…all worthwhile and beneficial acts, yet when I am in a state of forcing it is counterproductive because the foundation of my actions is coming from a place of compulsive ambition. If I am not productive, if I am not actively contributing to my body, emotions, mind or spirit I feel as though I cannot justify my existence. If there isn’t a chance that I can create something that will be ‘known’, if I don’t become somebody that is famous, or wildly successful, or deeply enlightened, then I am failing at life. I become mediocre. I become the same. I become unremarkable. All of the inspiration, the greatness and the splendour of the Universe that I feel welling up within me is wasted. I become a waste. A waste of skin, of space, a waste of life. What a heavy and awful burden to carry around.
I messaged Bliss and we discussed my past life regression, as we spoke and Bliss’ perpetual optimism and enthusiasm inspired me to re-examine my soul’s purpose I made a renewal of commitment to myself. If it isn’t coming from a place of joy, I’m not doing it. If it is something that needs to be done, one of life’s chores I will endeavour to perform the task with as much mindfulness and joy as I can. But what I choose to do, the life choices that I make will be based upon that which brings me joy, that which inspires me, uplifts me and that which is fun! I have such a serious Scorpio nature that life gets very heavy, very deep very easily for me. My soul’s purpose is to learn how to enjoy this life experience. What brings me joy is so much simpler than what I envision somebody with my soul’s purpose looking like. I’m not a sky diver, or a world traveller, or a deep sea diver. I enjoy being at home, I enjoy writing, I enjoy meditation, I enjoy time with my girlfriends, thought inspiring, silly shows, I enjoy nature, quiet, calm, music, art and inspiring people. I enjoy sweetness and lightness.
The initiative fire of the Aries Crone Moon has come to release me from the self-imposed prison that I create with my rules, regulations and discipline. I release my self-will and open up to the Universe, I surrender to joy and to flow, to receiving the will of the Goddess and to enjoying every inch of my journey, as Bliss reflected back to me ” it will obviously evolve, once you really surrender into it. It will always expand because that is the very nature of Spirit!!!”
Blessed Aries Crone Moon to you, release and let go and allow the inspired Aries energy to quicken your path.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
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