Blog Archives

Tonight on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Moon Mysteries, Libra Mother Moon

Aquarian Mother Moon, “this is our life.”

I wasn’t going to write about today’s Mother Moon (it’s in Aquarius) as I wasn’t feeling inspired to write and I am committed to not ‘doing’ creative things unless I am moved to. Much too often my ego gets in and makes me create so that I can feel as though my existence on Gaia is justified.

I remember once when the Priestess that trained me asked, “Candise, is enjoying life enough of a purpose for you?” I was horrified, of course it wasn’t!!! Shortly after I had a hypnotherapy session in which I visited my past lives at the end of the session my soul told me my life purpose, the message for this lifetime that came through was that my soul was here to learn how to enjoy life, not to focus on big outlandish acts but to just be in life and enjoy it. I shuddered, how little and insignificant I have felt for so very long when I’m not attached to a grand dream of creating a big splash in the world.

It’s interesting, but not surprising, that these lessons would come to mind today with the Aquarian moon having just filled our sky. Aquarius is the energy of change, evolution, revolution and rebellion. These are aspects that my Maiden self relates to, and while that Maiden still lives within me and contributes much to my life, it is the Mother aspect of my life that is ruling right now.

These past few weeks have been mundane, I’ve been exhausted, so, so, so hot and spending long unending days with a toddler that is full of energy, I have had little room to do much more than mother, clean, rest, repeat. Tonight when my husband came home I told him, I needed some time to myself, that time paired with a tea boosted me into inspiration.

The full phase of the moon is the Mother phase, on a microcosmic level I can bring these Aquarian energies into my mothering, I can reflect on how authentic my mothering is, on where I get my ideal’s for raising my daughter and on how to steer us out of the social construct that sexualizes and dehumanizes females before puberty even begins.

The largest aspect of this Mother Moon that I’m feeling tonight is the way that it is mothering me towards freedom and creativity. Aquarians crave freedom as fish out of water crave water and by nature are creative simply by being their authentic selves. I have been reflecting on being an act of creativity just by living and in this reflection I have been thinking about an Aquarian that has inspired me for over half of my life.

If you are Canadian you know that a Canadian hero of ours is facing the final days of his Earthwalk with us. This hero, of course the ever prolific and poetic Mr. Gord Downie is who I’m referring to, is an Aquarius.

Gord Downie is the lead singer of the band The Tragically Hip, I’m not a music writer so I won’t attempt to give you an overview of his work, I will say that his band was an integral part of my Maiden years and my Mother years. His words, his zeal, his eccentric presence on stage, they shaped who I grew into as a woman. I watched him create, was uplifted by his lyrics and my three best friends and I bonded in the melodic ethers of the work that he so generously gave us.

When I was a teenager his music meant freedom, it was a big “fuck you” to the establishment, it meant big open skies and vast mysterious roads ahead. As I aged and became a Mother, moved back to a small town and began to grow a family his music meant roots, community and a true connection to the soil that I live on. His Aquarian self created a community out of Canada and he stayed true to his small town roots this inspires me today.

Many of his poignant lyrics have been haunting me as our country prepares for their final concert this Saturday. “I’ve gotta go, it’s been a pleasure doing business with you.” “Let’s just see what tomorrow brings.” And tonight, it’s been “No dress rehearsal, this is our life.”

This is it, this is my life, how am I living it? That man has maybe no more summers left in this lifetime and he’s sharing it with his country, touring and giving us his soul on stage, it’s an experience I will forever be blessed to have been a witness to.

In the past, if I had had the past few weeks that I have had, sweating, tired, tending a child, cleaning a house and cooking meals with no sight of my grand dream in front of me I would have fallen into a depression. I would have heard that lyric, “No dress rehearsal, this is our life,” and I would have become depressed, I would have felt that my life was mundane, dull and worthless, that I was going through the motions and missing the spark, the ‘it’ factor that the greats experience, I would have felt like my life was worthless.

That is not how I feel tonight. I feel inspired. That line isn’t about my life, it’s about our life, our life as a collective is the focus of the Aquarian Moon. Our life is being lived in this moment, in the mundane, in the day to day tasks, in the heat waves, in the long hazy days of summer. These days will never return again. The spectacular times, the moments when I am on stage, leading a circle, writing my book, dreaming up businesses, I will look back on those times with fondness one day. Those are my dreaming and expanding moments. What I will look back upon with even more fondness will be the memories of my daughter sitting with her feet in the cold water filled sink as I cooked dinner, the anticipation that I feel waiting for my beloved to walk through the door after a long day of manual labour, the hopes of finding our first home and wondering if we can afford it, the unknown of a baby that will one day be as familiar as another limb is to me, as my daughter is now.

Our life is lived in these simple moments, I know everyone else in the world seems to get this, but that has been such a huge piece for me to actually get. I spent my teenage years in pits of angst, just miserable. I dreamt of getting out of this city, of being rich and famous, of being someone and proving my worth to everyone that had wronged me. I know that was my experience because I have the journals to prove it. But when I think back on those years today, I don’t feel the memory of discontent or a need to leave. I feel such warmth and love for what I had. I remember afternoons on the porch with my three soul sisters, I remember long evenings of us laughing and playing, I remember quiet skies and open fields, and when I remember these years I remember that I was doing nothing more than existing and being in the moment. I created because it felt good to create and life felt like it would stretch out forever. I trusted that there was an abundance of time and an abundance of dreams to be fulfilled.

Tonight, I breathe into time, I remember the vast Aquarian truths that elevate us spiritually, that time is an illusion, that we continue round and round the ferris wheel of existence trying on new identities and new experiences and I know tonight that the most important thing for me to do, is to simply live my day as it is, to expand, to stretch towards the highest vibrational wave that I can find and then to ride that wave and to soak up every moment of this turning wheel of life. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is our life and we get live it fully by soaking each and every moment up as the sweet, ephemeral elixir that it is.

Goodnight, be blessed.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from: http://aplaceforthings.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Gord-Downie.jpg

Capricorn Mother Moon, the wisdom of our ancestors beaming down.

The Mother Moon is full and ripe and reflects our full and ripe womb. When the moon is full we are filled with lunar energy and our feminine essence is working to balance her lunar energies with her solar ones.

We are called to balance giving and receiving, nurturing others and self. The astrological sign that the moon is under influences how we experience the expression of each Mother Moon. Tonight the Mother Moon is under the sign of Capricorn.

Capricorn is the matriarch, the community elder, she is compelled to teach, to share and to pass down the wisdom of her ancestors and pave the way for the next seven generations to come.

I am feeling Capricorn Mother Moon energy large tonight. I feel stretched to balance caring for my daughter, caring for my writing and preparing an upcoming workshop with enjoying time with my husband and myself. I have been waiting for the inspiration to really dig into my workshop preparation and felt so grateful when it came upon me today, seeing as the workshop is in four days it couldn’t have come at a better time.

I instantly reflected that the moon herself was zapping me with some deep soul womb wisdom, the workshop is on the phases of the moon and the phases of our womb, what better night to get to work than tonight? The challenge was that my daughter needed me, I was scheduled one of the few restaurant shifts that I get today and I am quite exhausted from the past few weeks.

Finally the time has come where my husband and my daughter are out and I can sit down to get to work. I find comfort in having the matriarchal wisdom of the Divine shining down through the moon as I prepare to get this workshop in order. I feel connected to her calling to share the wisdom of the ancestors, I have received the lessons for this workshop from the Priestess who trained me and from the teachings of the ancestors that has come from deep within my womb.

My Venus, which represents my feminine essence is ruled by Capricorn and my south node, which represents my role in this lifetime is in Capricorn, getting into circle to share about how the women before us gathered and had their wombs linked to the phases of the moon fills me with a sense of purposefulness and peace.

Despite my nerves I will be in the moment and open up to the Goddess to help me to be prepared for the lessons from the past to flow me this Saturday at the festival that I am offering at.

How will you honour the Capricorn Mother Moon tonight? What kind of wisdom do you hold within you from your blood lineage and your spirit family lineage? How and where can you share this wisdom?

Imagine the possibilities if we all made space for our ancestors to share through us and invited their wisdom into the present. That is the magic I am focusing on tonight and the magic that I invite all of you to focus on as well.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xwWuYAsk870/UcaN5xAvk9I/AAAAAAAAAaQ/or_yvfqWco8/s1600/MoonCeremony_goeswithneddiearticleJPEG.thumbnail.jpg

Sagittarius Mother Moon, lunar beams of hope raising me up.

Tonight’s Mother Moon is a blue moon, the second full moon in one month. This month has been insanely intense for me, the fact that five planets have been retrograde has not made this pressure cooker of a month feel any easier.

I have been dreading tonight’s moon, and in my dreading has come an avoidance to writing tonight. Because of this avoidance I have been reading old posts of mine about Sagittarius Mother Moon’s. On my Priestess of Grace Facebook page I found that the majority of Sagittarius Mother Moon’s I have written about have been big one’s, they have been super moons and moons ending eclipses or moons on Friday the 13th. I also discovered that last year’s Sagittarius Mother Moon was also full during a Mercury Retrograde, it was also not an easy one for me.

What I found interesting when I read last year’s blog post about the Sagittarius Mother Moon was remembering what a tough time that moon was for me, and yet, in retrospect I have found memories of that time. The unknown, living with my parents, the quiet spring days that felt so long are now warm memories of a time when we were all close as a family and awaiting what would be. What a profound and cliched truth that the times when we struggle become the ones we remember with fondness, once we are through them.

I don’t know if that will be the case with this time in my life however.

I have been dreading tonight’s moon because it is a Sagittarius Mother Moon. Normally I don’t look forward to Sagittarius energies, as it is one of my least favourite energies, however, I had conceived a Sag-to-be. While I was pregnant with my little archer I began to appreciate this energy, as I contemplated how I would mother a Sagittarius and how young Sagittarius energy would influence our family dynamic all of the most shining qualities of Sagittarius began to rise up in my consciousness. I felt the little archer influencing my energy as it grew in my womb.

I actually became excited to be around Sagittarius energy.

I was excited.

And then I miscarried. A big, messy, bloody, almost pass out and end in surgery miscarriage.

I new this moon was coming and I was not looking forward to it, in fact we will have two Sagittarius Mother Moon’s this year and the idea of big emotional Sagittarius energy made me fear what would come up for me. Where is my lesson in all of this?

As if loosing my baby wasn’t hard enough for us as a family, less than two weeks later my father-in-law passed away. That’s one baby and one father that my husband lost within a two week period. At this point I was expecting us all to just sink down into a dark abyss of despair, a heavy, sinking swamp of grief for our family to wade through.

Somehow, unexpectedly, I feel brighter than ever, and my husband that has been struggling immensely, which has meant large struggles within our marriage, with his father’s cancer, seems softer and more grounded than ever. I attribute this to a few factors, first grace, big grace to carry us through this time, and next love, our marriage came to a breaking point of grief and we decided we had to find lightness and love with each other despite our circumstances, and lastly, the spirit of my Sagittarius baby and my father-in-law.

I truly feel as though that Sagittarius spirit-to-be, the sign of optimism and good luck is with me now, I feel that little being beside me like a cherub angel and I feel as though the pureness of that being blesses me and is infusing me with optimism and hope, two things that are very foreign to my nature.

I also feel as though my father-in-law is guiding my husband through this time and his gentle spirit is tending to my husband’s heart.

Sagittarius Mother Moon’s are all about emotional optimism and emotional adventures. I have been just so stressed and sad these past months and after my husband and I hit our breaking point I began to reach up spiritually, I needed to be lightened and to get back into the vortex, I could not live in the realm of circumstances because the circumstances just continued to get worse and worse.

I found an Abraham Hick’s prosperity process, it involves spending energetic money, $1,000 the first day $2,000 the next and so on, you write cheques and decide what you will spend your energetic money on. The first day I ‘bought’ more groceries, herbal products and some more items I had been needing but waiting on due to our budget. The second day I got stuck after ‘spending’ $800, that was eye opening to me, I didn’t know how to spend dream money. I didn’t know how to dream about what I wanted for the joy of it, I realized I spend my time dreaming about what I want in the needs department and the ministry department but not so much in the fun and wants department. As I began to expand my dreams and to get into the ‘spending’ all of a sudden new money began to appear, money that I wanted deposited into our savings account, I always want extra money in the savings account. It dawned on me, if we had extra money that flowed into our life, we could take a small portion for us as a family, just as ‘fun’ money, I suggested this to my husband and he agreed, for the first time in years I began to feel excited and happy about money and not at all stressed about spending it.The next day, I realized that we had even more extra money, more to deposit into savings and more to take a portion for some fun.

This energy of flow and prosperity and enjoying the prosperity and being ‘lucky’ (I don’t believe in luck but it’s the Sagittarius term) reminds me about the bright side of Sagittarius. I’ve had many Sagittarius men in my life and now this baby and these moons, so much Sagittarius energy, energy that was my least favourite for a very long time, energy that I resisted up until this baby, energy that I probably always would have resisted if not for this baby. I feel blessed by the archer now and I feel blessed to have an archer spirit by my side, my ‘good luck’ spirit.

Tonight, as the moon shines full of optimism and hope I open my heart up, willing and ready to feel the pain, and exceptionally surprised to find that there is joy, light and hope that is shining through. The moon rules the emotions and the emotional realm is our guidance system, it tells us whether we are in alignment with Source energy or not. A positive and uplifting Sagittarius Mother Moon gives us all the opportunity to walk through our darker emotions and step into the light of the vortex

As you open yourself and your heart up to the archer moon tonight you may find that some of this adventurous, unfiltered, lucky energy enlivens your emotional world and begins to create experiences beyond your wildest dreams, that’s the goal I have set my sites on for tonight, a life that is beyond my dreams, a life that is guided and directed by my full and beautiful emotional guidance system.

This is a complete turn about for my soul, once upon a time, 13 years ago, I discovered that I had a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body that could only be overcome by obtaining hope. I was crushed, I shared with my tribe that hope was something I would not tolerate, I wound’t, couldn’t risk opening myself up to hope and being let down, I had been too crushed by life, too traumatized and betrayed. 13 years later and in the face of a devastating two weeks I find myself buoyed and carried on the wings of hope and this hope that I find comfort and validation in only leads to more hope as I witness true change and evolution within my soul’s evolution on this earth plane.

Tonight I am soaking up this hope and beaming it out into the world from my open and full heart, I wish that all of you will ride these lunar beams of hope into newer expressions of life and dreaming and love as we continue to evolve and grow together on the wings of hope’s light.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from: http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/ae/9a/ae9ac85ce941a1caf0e65611afa5d8e9.jpg?itok=2VoxD1Cu

Tonight on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Moon Mysteries, Scorpio Mother Moon

Virgo Mother Moon, dedication and flow in the act of service.

Another Mother Moon is upon us. This month it is a Virgo Mother Moon.

For years Virgo has been my favourite sign, I married a Virgo and birthed one! Long before husband and child I was drawn to Virgo’s, I love their demeanour, I love how sincere, how dedicated, how heartfelt and even how hard they are on themselves. As a Scorpio I pride myself in being able to see behind the mask of calm and collected, past the nit picking behaviours to the true heart of the Virgo, the soul that wants to serve, that wants to heal, that wants to please and the sensitive soul that can never live up to the Divine standard that they hold themselves to.

When the moon is full we are called to find balance, we are full emotionally and when we are full we are prepared to shine, to give and to extend. Of course if we give it all away too fast we can burn out, and so balance is called for. Mother Moon’s also nurture our ‘garden’, all of the seeds that we have planted on the new moon, the Crone Moon, have come to fruition and we tend to them and mother them as they bloom strong and full.

There are opposing energies for us to balance during a Mother Moon, not only the energy of give and take, but also the opposing energy of the moon and the sun.

The moon is being influenced by Virgo right now and the sun is being influenced by Pisces. Virgo is the focused, single purposed sign, in Virgo we find one path to dedicate ourselves to and we perfect that path throughout our lifetime. Both Virgo and Pisces are service signs, however, how they serve differs greatly. Virgo serves through their one Divine calling, they are not influenced by their emotions, they are not swayed from their path, they may struggle to maintain their focus and be tempted to step out of line because of other people’s emotional needs, but in the end the Virgo truly believes that perfecting their path is the best way that they can serve others and ultimately to serve the Divine.

Pisces on the other hand is fluid, she swims from one emotional cause to another, she gives up herself in the pursuit of healing others. She is a tough balance of compassion, softness and empathy and unpredictability, unreliability and lack of focus. Pisces is called to give of themselves for others, however they are so sensitive that once a situation begins to feel uncomfortable they swim away, often never to be found again.

This Mother Moon is making matters of service pull at our hearts, we are being called to balance dedicated, practical service with intuitive, compassionate service, with all of this call to give it is of utmost importance that we fill ourselves. Because the two main signs being balanced are serving signs, it is through our connection to the Divine that we will be filled.

Virgo is religiously devoted to their faith and Pisces is intuitively certain of their connection to the mystical realms. Both Virgo and Pisces receive their juice to give from their faith.

That is what I am sitting with today, this balance of service, and being filled.

We have been staying with my in-laws for the past week, tending to my father-in-law who discovered, literally out of nowhere, that he had a brain tumour, which is cancerous only one month ago. I have been called to support him through reassurance, gentleness and encouragement, as well as prayer and energy work. I have been called to support my husband as he grieves and faces deep, deep fears. I have been called to support my mother-in-law as she prepares to be his caretaker as I listen to her memories and continue to firmly suggest that nutrition and homeopathy become a top priority in the home. And I have been supporting my daughter, who in spite of this, has been having a blast visiting with cousins she doesn’t get to see nearly enough, by finding saint like patience with frequent outbursts, screaming and melt downs as her toddler self seeks to process all of the fun and excitement.

I have not had much to give to my craft and so I have been very much influenced by the Piscean energy of the sun, however as the moon has cycled under Virgo the need to connect with my spiritual tribe, to write and to be in my Priestess work has become apparent. Sitting down to write right now is a way that I am filling myself as this is one of the main ways that I connect to the Divine, though creating.

The biggest message that I am receiving today is the reminder that the fluidity of Pisces and her ability to follow cycles and rhythms is well balanced by a Virgo dedication to my personal path. I am glad that I haven’t been pushing myself to complete writing projects this week and I am grateful that when the need began to arise I answered the call and sat down to write.

As we prepare to leave my in-laws my focus is on dedication and cycles and rhythms. In my marriage my husband is going to need more of my love and support for the next while and I will give this, writing less on some days than I normally would otherwise. I have dedicated my life to serve and love him as an expression of the Divine Masculine, God, in the flesh, that dedication means that I flow with the cycles that life presents the both of us as we continue to grow and evolve through life experiences. That dedication means that when he has less to give me I stand by him and give more and that when he has more to give me I receive him with an open heart.

As I give more during this cycle I will remain dedicated to my marriage and to my Priestess path outside of our marriage through continuing my personal growth and offerings when the space arises.

For tonight, I will focus on the balance of commitment and flexibility within the avenue of service and love, how will you spend tonight’s Mother Moon?

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly

image taken from: https://goddessrisingtempleofshe.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/7b836-goddessofsacredspaceforconjure.jpg

Leo Mother Moon, honouring and validating our emotional world.

This is the first Mother Moon of the new year, how appropriate that fiery, proud Leo would be the sign to usher in this big, bold moon to begin our year.

A Mother Moon is a full moon and she fills us, she fills our emotional world and our dreams and intentions. Many people make their intentions on Mother Moon’s, when the real time to plant those seeds is just after the Crone Moon, the Mother Moon revels in the manifestations that she has birthed in the past month. Manifestations that came from deep desire and emotional longings.

Leo is a strong and noble sign, she is a leader, she is indomitable, she is also needy, she needs to be loved, adored, and acknowledged for her regal and wondrous self. When Leo rules a Mother Moon our emotional life becomes of utmost importance to us. We must have our feelings acknowledged, we must be honoured emotionally and we feel our feelings to the extreme.

In our house our family has been rocked by some devastating news that came out of the blue. A beloved family member is very ill and the future is not known.

My go to response to news like this is spiritual truth. Within myself affirming that disease and sickness has no power, keeping that person’s highest self in my mind’s eye. If they are physically close to me I offer energy work, if they are distant I ask their angels and guides for permission and send energy their way. Upon learning about our family member’s illness I immediately called some other family member’s that live close to him and begged them not to allow him to eat the hospital food, I researched all of the best foods to naturally regain his harmonious and balanced whole self and sent the list to everyone. In short, I went into healer mode.

As I did this my beautiful husband coped with the implications of this news, this family member is his blood, I watched his eyes flood with the horror of the news, I’ve been seeing him struggle to eat, we have been waiting for more news, ever-ready to pack our bags and drive ten hours to be with his family.

Together we have been learning how to connect at this time. His go to place is to shut the world out, but as my husband he doesn’t want to shut me out. My go to place is to discuss none of the ‘details’ and to only stay in the Truth….thankfully over the years I have learnt how to balance my healer mode with my humanity. That is what the Priestess path has given me access to, an ability to live between both realities, this human one and the Divine. For my husband, I listen to the feelings he shares, I empathize, I share some of my feelings, all while remaining anchored to the Truth within.

Tonight I had a shift at work, while I was there, the emotional reality of what is happening began to dawn on me. My heart began to open and I just felt for him, my husband, our family, the fear, the pain, the potential for death. I allowed the Leo Mother Moon to open my heart, to bring my feelings to the surface, so that when my husband and daughter picked me up from work I could let him know that I was feeling sad for him, that I couldn’t imagine what it was like for him right now, and that I am here for him as his wife. Acknowledging his feelings, letting him know that they mattered and that I was sad for him meant the world.

The Leo Mother Lion is a matriarch, she is fiercely devoted to her family, a lion’s tribe is called their pride. Tonight I am tending to my pride. I am feeling with them, I am open to receiving them and I am cuddling them close.

I am reminded that sadness and grief are not negative, they are human and a part of life. Tonight, our family is in grief and shock, tonight we are feeling and the feelings are intense.

I will gather my pride around me and we will hold each other close.

May tonight’s Mother Moon reveal the importance of your emotional life to you, may it remind you that your feelings matter, that they are seen and that you are cared for. May this moon validate your emotional life and may you share with your pride some of the love in your heart and receive some back in return.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly

image taken from: http://www.laishley.com/luna/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Leo.jpg

Cancer Mother Moon, Mother Mary’s Nurturing Love on Christmas Day

What a blessing tonight’s Mother Moon is.

In Feminine Mysticism we acknowledge the full moon as the Mother Moon because a full moon is fertile and full of light, just like the Mother phase of life.

This is a Cancer Mother Moon full and bright on Christmas day.

Cancer is the sign of the Divine Mother, she is a nurturing, psychic, lunar sign that is ruled by the moon, when the Mother Moon is in Cancer all aspects of motherhood, nurturance, the home and family are intensified. Mother Moons are about empowering and growing matters of the heart and the emotions, on the Crone Moon (new moon) we release and on the Mother Moon we fertilize all that we are full of.

Tonight’s moon is a warm blessing that blankets all of us as we gather on Christmas day. Though Christmas is a pagan holiday that was overtaken by the church, for me it has always been a moment of warmth, tenderness and security in the dark of the year.

Still revelling in the magic of the solstice that just passed today was a day of celebration, abundance and family for me. My dear daughter has been so excited for Christmas, this was the first year that she began to understand what was to come enough to anticipate this day…poor bug got sick on the 23rd. As I snuggled her and napped with her and held her fuzzy red Christmas pyjamaed self in my arms I was filled with a tenderness and love that has only been fully realized since becoming a mother myself. I felt the Cancer Mother Moon shining through my heart and offering her essence of universal Mother love to my daughter through me.

A Priestess is a conduit that connects the heavenly realms with the earthly ones, today I was tuned in to both realms, the realm of the moon and the earth as the day flowed by in a comfortable and loving manner. Cancer Moon is all about flow, the mother that goes where she is needed when she is needed and I did just that.

I have been expanding my circle of attachment for my daughter as my husband and I settle into this small town. Since being in our new home I have watched as my daughter formed nurturing attachments to my parents and my husband’s mother. I have been researching about the psychological benefits that children who are attached to at least three primary caregivers receive and have felt inspired at this new phase of life that my daughter is embarking on.

Tonight as I played cards and my husband played scrabble with our extended family, I watched as my daughter bounced from Grandma to Auntie, to Uncle, to Grandpa and I felt the Cancer Mother Moon enchanting our whole family as we all shared in nurturing this perfect soul that I have been blessed to be assigned to in this lifetime.

As I witnessed this I relaxed, the past few weeks have been tight for me as we waited for a few financial situations to flow in the direction we were hoping they would, they all came together in the past few days, and today I was worry free.

When it was time to go back to our home my husband, daughter, bonus mother and I stepped out into the dark and the beautiful full silver moon greeted us, I paused and looked up at her and said a simple prayer “thank you so much for everything.”

When I was a child the Christmas season was a guaranteed time of safety and security, I felt as though the world was all in it together and celebrating and loving, and the presents that many of us are concerned about contributing to over consumerism, to me were an expression of abundance and joy.

Once I became an adult and moved across the country Christmas became a time to retreat from my busy life and to reconnect with family and old friends, it was a break from reality and I knew that once January 2nd came it was back to the hectic bustle of everyday life.

This Christmas I felt so grounded and secure, I felt that presence of the Divine Mother watching over me. Today wasn’t a break from a life that I will return to, it was a blessed day of gathering, celebrating, loving, sharing and receiving. I am at home and I am provided for and I am blessed beyond measure.

The final essence of this day that lifted me up was the Mary energy. For a very long time Mary Magdalene called to me, with the advent of my pregnancy it was Mother Mary that began to inspire me, She is the energy that I connect with still two years into my motherhood. I thought about her today birthing the Divine in the flesh. I reflected upon the strength of faith that it would have taken for her to hold to the truth of the Christhood in the child she had birthed and about the sacrifice that giving her child to the world cost her.

Another mother told me once when my daughter was a few months old that motherhood was one long goodbye, how profoundly true that is. To think that we have a Divine Mother that loves us with Her very being and is continually ready to release us to our own will and ever ready to receive us when we call upon Her. What a comfort, what a joy, what an awesome and unbelievable gift that is.

Tonight, as the Cancer Mother Moon shines her silvery beams down upon us I am fertilizing my faith in the Divine Mother, I am clinging to Her bosom and asking that my roots in Her be strengthened and intensified so that I may feel Her holding me as close as I feel Her holding me tonight.

Merry Christmas to you all.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly.

image taken from: http://pics.livejournal.com/melengro/pic/000aa9sa

Gemini Mother Moon, finding Freedom to just Be.

Can you feel that wild and playful Mother Moon in the sky tonight?! I can, Gemini Mother Moon is here to play and to get us thinking, thinking, thinking and doing, doing, doing.

As I mentioned in my latest Crone Moon post, my cycle is the opposite of the moon’s, so while the moon is fertile tonight, I began my moontime exactly today. Thus I begin my energetic release on the Crone Moon and finalize my intention on the Mother Moon. My Scorpio Crone Moon intention was to release my anxiety cycle, the conditioned response to life’s happier and lighter moments to seeking out the next unsafe moment and starting up a cycle of anxiety.

As the past two weeks have unfolded I have witnessed how I have simultaneously felt safer and more secure than I ever have before and more aware of this anxiety cycle than ever before.

I have been more settled and content and happy than ever, and as I sat in this comfort and content I witnessed myself jump back into the anxiety cycle. While this cycle is obviously quite familiar, this felt like the final pull, like the illusion and lack of choice about this cycle was ending. I was out of my body witnessing myself wind out of control, pleading with my husband to make it go away, to discuss all of our alternative plans for worst case scenario and yet it was all so distant and foreign to me, like I was watching a play on a stage unfold. At the end of a very long night of ‘discussing’ I looked at my Beloved and said “but what really changed here? All we did was talk until I wore myself out.” In hindsight what had happened was that we had taken time to connect after our daughter was in bed, we had put our marriage before relaxing on the couch and though I had been in my anxiety cycle, once I got through it to the end we both remembered our first blossom of love, how little anything else beyond our love had mattered. We stayed up looking at old pictures and reminisced about how magical falling in love was.

This topic brought me back to a big lesson I am working on, loving in the face of all challenging human experiences. I ask myself, how can I love better in this situation and it automatically highlights choices contrary to those that my ego would take. As my Beloved and I fell into one another’s arms I somehow felt that all would be well and didn’t think about the busy topics in my mind. The next day he was told he wasn’t needed for work, and the three of us just enjoyed the extra day with Daddy free of my worry about finances and the upcoming winter months, the following day we received great news financially and all, as always, was proven to be well.

As my moontime began today I observed how light it is and how light I feel, while I generally have easy moontimes, today, I am feeling the Gemini Moon energy and I feel lighter energetically than I normally would on the first day of my moontime. I am releasing the end of that anxiety cycle and looking at what this energetic and fertile moon is offering me, energetically we are all being fertilized right now.

Gemini is a foreign energy to me, I don’t have Gemini in any of my planets or houses, though two out of the three sisterfriends of mine are Gemini, so I understand from a distance this energy. Despite the foreign personal nature to me, upon reflection I have a lot of Gemini activities occurring right now, four writing projects to complete in the next week and a half, I have been casted as the lead role in a play to be performed in two months and have three rehearsals a week to participate in, as well as maintaining a rhythmic Waldorf home for my family as I make Christmas preparations for the month ahead.. Life is busy right now, but it is fun, just like Gemini.

The Mother Moon teaches us to balance, with a Gemini Mother Moon we are balancing Gemini Lunar energy with Sagittarius Solar energy we are being called to balance the desire to do a lot and to think a lot with the impulse to create adventures and engage in projects that inspire us in philosophical matters. We are being inspired and moved to do a lot and with the moon and the sun calling up so much energy and offering us all of this mental food we are headed straight towards burn out if we don’t stop to give some of this energy to ourselves.

That very subject is what I was contemplating this week as I was feeling so at the end of my patience rope with my daughter at nighttime. She has been extra needy and not wanting me to leave bed and waking frequently and I’ve just felt like I need a moment to myself. I was confused because I’ve had more time apart from her than ever with these rehearsals, and I love acting, it is so much fun and something that I’ve missed dearly, I wasn’t getting why having these three hour breaks to go out and play through my acting wasn’t counteracting my impatience at night. What I realized as I was praying through the impatience in bed, was that, while a lot of fun, acting still requires that I give my all, my creativity, my imagination, my energy, my focus, my heart and soul, this is now a new area that I am giving out my energy. Being introverted becoming drained is a particularly sensitive possibility for me. I began to see how, like the Gemini Maiden that was bursting into full moon light, I too was getting so excited with how good things are feeling in my life that I was forgetting that I need time to reboot, alone time to reboot.

My husband and I have our evenings together (though they do start late depending on when our little love decides she is ready for bed) and it is a necessity, it feeds our bond and our love bank, yet, even that isn’t enough for refilling my tank, I need some solitary time for myself.

That is the big lesson that I am taking out of tonight’s Mother Moon, Gemini Mother is reminding me that having fun is a wonderful experience in life, for myself in particular, somebody who has been heavy and serious for much of my life, having fun and enjoying life is a great merit of success, yet it must be tempered with relaxation, rest and time with myself and my Creator.

I have just re-started the Course in Miracles daily lessons this week, just those few days of beginning have started to make a shift, so has my realization that it is not only okay, but necessary for this Mama, Wife, Homemaker, Priestess, Writer, Actor, ad infinitum to have time to myself, unstructured free time to just be. Owning this truth is invigorating me with a new sense of freedom.

Freedom is a key component in the Gemini Archetype’s life mission, tonight I am finding freedom in claiming that space for myself. I feel as though there is one final lesson that is being sparked within me right now, part of it is inspired by a book that I am being a sounding board for as it is being written, a wonderfully powerful memoir called I Am Bliss, written by Bliss Prema, (you can see a sneak peak about what this powerful memoir is all about here: https://vimeo.com/122687559). Without giving away any of her personal wisdom, her words had me reflecting on my inner voice, the tendency that I have to consistently check in with how I think others are feeling towards me. I have learnt how irritating it can be to be constantly asked “is everything okay?” and so I don’t ask others how they are feeling towards me, but I’m often investigating, asking little questions, feeling out how I perceive they are feeling towards me.

I caught myself twice today, once as I was about to call my Grandma. My daughter and I were out having a lovely and unseasonably warm morning at the park and baseball diamond, I was committed to not putting a time restraint on her play and she was in Heaven. I observed my desire to fill the quiet and slow time with tasks on my phone, I resisted, then the thought popped into my head that my Grandma had seemed ‘off’ towards me last night, I was going to give a quick call and just feel things out, maybe say or do something to get her re-connected to me. How utterly co-dependent and self-centred?! She has just returned from a trip out East and it was late last night when I had seen her and she’s old, I’m sure intellectually it had nothing to do with me, and yet this unconscious wounded part of me was about to call her. The other time that I caught myself today was in thinking about a woman in my life that texts me constantly and hasn’t initiated the past few days. Despite knowing how busy she is at work I replayed our previous texts over in my head, attempting to decipher which one had turned her off. Not only is this insane, it takes up so much energy! Tonight when I was about to ask my husband about her, I paused and a thought came rushing up from within my soul, “who cares?” I know I didn’t do anything to either of these two people, it has nothing to do with me. The freedom to stop focusing on what and how others perceive me or feel about me is so hopeful for me and I feel the lunar power of the Gemini Mother Moon sparking this possibility within.

This is my Gemini Mother Moon intention, freedom to claim space for myself to be and freedom from focusing on how I perceive others perceiving me.

I would love feedback, how is the Gemini Mother Moon lighting you up tonight? What is being inspired within you? Is freedom making itself known to you as well? Drop a note and let me know how the rest of our tribe is integrating tonight’s playful and energetic Mother Moon.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from: https://journeywithladymaya.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/full-moon-in-gemini.jpg

Today on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Moon Mysteries, Aries Mother Blood Moon