The Summer Solstice paired with the Mother Strawberry moon, the second Sagittarius full moon in a month, has completely depleted me.
I’m not a light gal, I’m a dark (not heavy, dark like mystery, cool, lunar, night) gal, today’s sun which is only to be followed by a fiery full moon has fried me.
My intention for this Solstice was to gather with the community that is slowly building for me here, as it was, the only time that worked for availability for everyone was two days ago. I had felt mildly disappointed that we were going to be gathering a full 48 hours before Solstice, however, as the day drew closer I became grateful for the time to prepare the way for today’s bright zenith.
As I panted and rubbed cool clothes all over me during this record breaking hot day I was immensely appreciative that grace had paved the way for us to meet before today, I don’t know that I could have led ceremony or set intention in this heat, sitting down to write feels like a miracle as it is.
Our ceremony was wonderful, we examined the shadow side of our sun sign and decided on what it was that we were wiling to release from our shadow self on the Solstice, today I threw a rock with what I was letting go of (written on it) into the creek that flowed beside my daughter and I. In ceremony we also went within to discover our power words for the four elements, words of power that we would walk with during this next phase of the wheel and intended for those qualities to be magnified during the Solstice hours.
The Sun is all power, we discussed power and the responsibility that comes with it and focused on the old saying “Do as Thou wilt an it harm none.”
I left the ceremony feeling lighter, feeling focused and feeling inspired. The past few weeks have been an energetic upswing for me, the laws of grace have been working in my life and I have been really devoted to practicing principles of grace in my days. I’ve been feeling simplified and called to really focus on home and family and with this has come a sense of peace and being settled.
I will utilize tonight’s Mothering Fiery Moon energy to reconnect to my passionate self and to re light the fires within. Tonight’s moon marks the end of my first moon time since my miscarriage, soon we will try again. There is much hope up ahead.
The Summer season is ruled by the water element in the tradition that I was trained in, water is my element, I yearn to flow and to wade, I am ready for the waters of Mother Nature. This season my focus is on surrender, passion, inspiration, trust, and family and home sweet home.
That’s all that I have for tonight, my family and I are about to take down our spring nature table, tomorrow morning my daughter will wake up to a wave puzzle and a new blue silk and summer book left for her from the Summer Mother Goddess. We are also going to take down the spring altar in our prayer room and review the cards that we had all pulled for the spring season. I was to focus on strength, visualization and passion this past season. I see now that I didn’t as much focus on those attributes as they found me. I needed strength to walk through my miscarriage and to face the demons of control that had been pulling at me for the past year. Visualization called for me to focus on what felt good rather than my worries, and passion challenged me to re-define what matters most to me in my life.
Tonight I will ask for the light of the moon and the light of the sun to guide us as we pull our summer cards and prepare for a new turn of the wheel, what lies ahead is a mystery to me, all that I know is that gentleness and peace seem to be guiding my way right now and for that I am eternally grateful.
Merrry Solstice to you and yours!
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from gostica.com (editing done by moi)
Tonight’s Mother Moon is a blue moon, the second full moon in one month. This month has been insanely intense for me, the fact that five planets have been retrograde has not made this pressure cooker of a month feel any easier.
I have been dreading tonight’s moon, and in my dreading has come an avoidance to writing tonight. Because of this avoidance I have been reading old posts of mine about Sagittarius Mother Moon’s. On my Priestess of Grace Facebook page I found that the majority of Sagittarius Mother Moon’s I have written about have been big one’s, they have been super moons and moons ending eclipses or moons on Friday the 13th. I also discovered that last year’s Sagittarius Mother Moon was also full during a Mercury Retrograde, it was also not an easy one for me.
What I found interesting when I read last year’s blog post about the Sagittarius Mother Moon was remembering what a tough time that moon was for me, and yet, in retrospect I have found memories of that time. The unknown, living with my parents, the quiet spring days that felt so long are now warm memories of a time when we were all close as a family and awaiting what would be. What a profound and cliched truth that the times when we struggle become the ones we remember with fondness, once we are through them.
I don’t know if that will be the case with this time in my life however.
I have been dreading tonight’s moon because it is a Sagittarius Mother Moon. Normally I don’t look forward to Sagittarius energies, as it is one of my least favourite energies, however, I had conceived a Sag-to-be. While I was pregnant with my little archer I began to appreciate this energy, as I contemplated how I would mother a Sagittarius and how young Sagittarius energy would influence our family dynamic all of the most shining qualities of Sagittarius began to rise up in my consciousness. I felt the little archer influencing my energy as it grew in my womb.
I actually became excited to be around Sagittarius energy.
I was excited.
And then I miscarried. A big, messy, bloody, almost pass out and end in surgery miscarriage.
I new this moon was coming and I was not looking forward to it, in fact we will have two Sagittarius Mother Moon’s this year and the idea of big emotional Sagittarius energy made me fear what would come up for me. Where is my lesson in all of this?
As if loosing my baby wasn’t hard enough for us as a family, less than two weeks later my father-in-law passed away. That’s one baby and one father that my husband lost within a two week period. At this point I was expecting us all to just sink down into a dark abyss of despair, a heavy, sinking swamp of grief for our family to wade through.
Somehow, unexpectedly, I feel brighter than ever, and my husband that has been struggling immensely, which has meant large struggles within our marriage, with his father’s cancer, seems softer and more grounded than ever. I attribute this to a few factors, first grace, big grace to carry us through this time, and next love, our marriage came to a breaking point of grief and we decided we had to find lightness and love with each other despite our circumstances, and lastly, the spirit of my Sagittarius baby and my father-in-law.
I truly feel as though that Sagittarius spirit-to-be, the sign of optimism and good luck is with me now, I feel that little being beside me like a cherub angel and I feel as though the pureness of that being blesses me and is infusing me with optimism and hope, two things that are very foreign to my nature.
I also feel as though my father-in-law is guiding my husband through this time and his gentle spirit is tending to my husband’s heart.
Sagittarius Mother Moon’s are all about emotional optimism and emotional adventures. I have been just so stressed and sad these past months and after my husband and I hit our breaking point I began to reach up spiritually, I needed to be lightened and to get back into the vortex, I could not live in the realm of circumstances because the circumstances just continued to get worse and worse.
I found an Abraham Hick’s prosperity process, it involves spending energetic money, $1,000 the first day $2,000 the next and so on, you write cheques and decide what you will spend your energetic money on. The first day I ‘bought’ more groceries, herbal products and some more items I had been needing but waiting on due to our budget. The second day I got stuck after ‘spending’ $800, that was eye opening to me, I didn’t know how to spend dream money. I didn’t know how to dream about what I wanted for the joy of it, I realized I spend my time dreaming about what I want in the needs department and the ministry department but not so much in the fun and wants department. As I began to expand my dreams and to get into the ‘spending’ all of a sudden new money began to appear, money that I wanted deposited into our savings account, I always want extra money in the savings account. It dawned on me, if we had extra money that flowed into our life, we could take a small portion for us as a family, just as ‘fun’ money, I suggested this to my husband and he agreed, for the first time in years I began to feel excited and happy about money and not at all stressed about spending it.The next day, I realized that we had even more extra money, more to deposit into savings and more to take a portion for some fun.
This energy of flow and prosperity and enjoying the prosperity and being ‘lucky’ (I don’t believe in luck but it’s the Sagittarius term) reminds me about the bright side of Sagittarius. I’ve had many Sagittarius men in my life and now this baby and these moons, so much Sagittarius energy, energy that was my least favourite for a very long time, energy that I resisted up until this baby, energy that I probably always would have resisted if not for this baby. I feel blessed by the archer now and I feel blessed to have an archer spirit by my side, my ‘good luck’ spirit.
Tonight, as the moon shines full of optimism and hope I open my heart up, willing and ready to feel the pain, and exceptionally surprised to find that there is joy, light and hope that is shining through. The moon rules the emotions and the emotional realm is our guidance system, it tells us whether we are in alignment with Source energy or not. A positive and uplifting Sagittarius Mother Moon gives us all the opportunity to walk through our darker emotions and step into the light of the vortex
As you open yourself and your heart up to the archer moon tonight you may find that some of this adventurous, unfiltered, lucky energy enlivens your emotional world and begins to create experiences beyond your wildest dreams, that’s the goal I have set my sites on for tonight, a life that is beyond my dreams, a life that is guided and directed by my full and beautiful emotional guidance system.
This is a complete turn about for my soul, once upon a time, 13 years ago, I discovered that I had a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body that could only be overcome by obtaining hope. I was crushed, I shared with my tribe that hope was something I would not tolerate, I wound’t, couldn’t risk opening myself up to hope and being let down, I had been too crushed by life, too traumatized and betrayed. 13 years later and in the face of a devastating two weeks I find myself buoyed and carried on the wings of hope and this hope that I find comfort and validation in only leads to more hope as I witness true change and evolution within my soul’s evolution on this earth plane.
Tonight I am soaking up this hope and beaming it out into the world from my open and full heart, I wish that all of you will ride these lunar beams of hope into newer expressions of life and dreaming and love as we continue to evolve and grow together on the wings of hope’s light.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from: http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/ae/9a/ae9ac85ce941a1caf0e65611afa5d8e9.jpg?itok=2VoxD1Cu
A Crone Moon, a Supermoon and a Solar Eclipse tonight, woah, big energies coming through.
I’ll start off by saying I am feeling much more like I do during Mother Moon’s, I feel loony, full, electric, wiry and my fuse is shorter than I would expect for a dreamy Pisces Crone Moon.
I’m attributing this energy to the eclipse and the Super aspect of the moon. We also have an enormous amount of planets in Pisces right now as well which amplifies our sensitivity and emotional energy.
When the Sun is eclipsed, the ego is shadowed and this gives a moment of pause to look behind the curtain of the stories that we have been running, the patterns and the ego structures that we have been unconsciously programmed to live out.
For me it is a loop of first chakra anxiety, a hugely manic amount of grinding energy that is fixated on maintaining financial security and stability. At the seat of my soul is the freedom to release, to flow, to surrender and to trust and yet I cover over this soul freedom by repeating old patterns that I know don’t serve me.
Grace has always kept me in good standing, we are happy, healthy and prosperous as a family, and yet my underactive root chakra is constantly seeking more security and assurance. This is the pattern that came up for me to work towards regaining harmony and balance with. In the past when I have worked with this issue I worked with the effects, tonight, the cause became apparent, and the cause is so much simpler than the many effects. A weak root chakra is the cause.
Pisces is the final sign in the zodiac, the mystic, the sign about to ascend into the mystical realms, this revelation that came to me about my root chakra was directly linked to my spiritual growth. Too much focus on the material realm cuts me off from the spiritual truths and energy that abound around me.
Crone moons are about releasing and being filled with wisdom, what I was needing to release was wound up fears and anxieties.
As I was posting an invitation to this month’s Goddess Gathering I was longing for someone else to guide, I desperately longed to be able to receive. Shortly after that desire was born I began to write about my hopes of finding more community in this small town that we now live in. Within the month I have found two new women and one of those women was holding a crystal bowl meditation for the chakra’s, I jumped on board immediately. My desire for community and to be guided was answered and I couldn’t be happier.
Tonight, my husband and I attended the meditation together, a real treat as we haven’t had a lot of date nights in the past 2.5 years. We lied down side by side and held hands throughout the crystal bowl meditation. My body and energy system responds to sound very quickly. By the time the third bowl was being rung I was journeying though the ethers, surrounded by a white mist and enveloped with angelic energy. It was exactly what the both of us needed.
As we lie side by side, hand in hand, I envisioned the Goddess and God energy of this realm coming together and creating the One Creator, I remembered that he and I are together first and foremost to honour the Goddess and God in one another. I held my moonstone in the other hand, this month’s crystal focus and felt her getting charged with me. At the end of the night I purchased moonstone infused bath salts and walked out into the open air, rejuvenated and much lighter than when I had walked in.
During the meditation my focused intention was on my root chakra. As the root chakra bowl was being rung I received guidance to plant the energy that was being conjured within me into our land, into the earth of this town that we are living in. There is potential here, potential for higher vibrations, for new understanding and for healing with this earth to occur.
That is my focus for this upcoming month. To strengthen my root chakra and to nourish the earth with the spiritual energy that I conjure up. How beautifully paradoxic that when the moon and the sun are in the most spiritual of signs it is my connection to my body and my earth walk that are calling for the most attention. That is the true path of the Priestess, to honour her spirit and her body in equal measure.
As the influx of Pisces dreamy energy and the high vibration of the crystal bowls bathed me I felt my root chakra and the roots of the earth soak up the energy. Tonight I will continue to let go of my attachments and to open up to a new way, a higher way of being in my body and on this earth. As I fill with light and new energy I will pour into the earth all that I am blessed to receive from on high, energy pouring like watery Pisces wisdom from the Heavens above into the Mother below.
How will you allow this Pisces Crone Moon to move you?
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
March Moonstone, it has a nice ring to it, it almost sounds like I should be saying “March Moonstone Madness!”
The moon, which this stone is intimately linked to, is known to be a bit looney and I feel as though this ultra feminine, emotional, Goddess stone is revealing some of her loonier side to me as well.
The first thing that I realized after the moonstone card was drawn and I began shopping for a moonstone was that I already owned one, I had forgotten because my moonstone is a black moonstone. I considered buying the traditional white moonstone, as that was the colour I was feeling drawn to during the car ride under the full moon back in New Jersey when I had first hoped that moonstone would be our March focus, however after some research and meditating I decided that I would work with my black moonstone.
In researching black moonstone it became apparent that the womb work that moonstone aids women with, is amplified when she is black, and when I sat with her, the silver lines that reflected as I turned her over felt like I had a slice of the moon in the palm of my hand.
What I love about this particular piece is that I picked her three years ago, I was drawn to her iridescent silver lines. I didn’t do any research on her, I knew that she was a moonstone and she felt infinitely more powerful than other moonstone pieces I had come across in the past. At this time in my life I had just begun working for an online psychic company and was beginning a blog radio show where I would offer psychic readings online, this stone in conjunction with my labradorite egg were the two stones that I would hold and meditate with before my show and before my readings. The moonstone I would hold over my third eye and she would sit in my left hand and the labradorite in my right.
Fast forward three years later and as I read about moonstone in the Liquid Crystal Oracle, she is closely linked to labradorite, seems I have a thing for iridescent stones.
I love when research confirms what my intuition has led me to, moonstone and labradorite working hand in hand is an energetic powerhouse that I had been guided to utilize. I remember when I began my Priestess training, I wanted to research everything, the Priestess teaching me would encourage me to research to a point and then to let go and fall into the mystery.
Moonstone is all mystery. She is the dark, the feminine, the Goddess, the moon.
I have been soothed and connected while holding her in the palm of my hand the past two days, last night I placed her over my womb to meditate, I was overcome by the intensity of the visceral reaction my womb and this stone had together. I felt deep vibrations penetrating and was grateful for a Divine Creator that guides my path.
I tried to get pregnant last month. I assumed it would be a cinch, I got pregnant on my first try with my daughter. I practically found my ovulation window, as well as my lunar fertile window and informed my husband of every night he was to impregnate me. Afterwards with legs in the air we would put our show on and watch Netflix while I waited for a sperm to find my egg. The rest of the month I was just waiting for the confirmation that pregnancy had happened. It kinda felt like taking a pill and waiting for the effects to kick in, except it never did.
It began to dawn on me that I was putting a lot less into my intention for this new life to-be than I had with my daughter. We had done a month long womb journey meditation prior to conceiving, both my husband and I waking up early and staying up late to do the guided sound meditations and journal work. I had begun taking vitamins three months prior to conceiving and had been reading up on soul’s and their connection to their parents prior to incarnation. This time around our conception attempting was sloppy work.
My intention for this next month became to bring intention and Divinity into the process, to allow the mystery to be. Moonstone came to me and the first thing I read about her was that she was a womb stone. She is the beginning of my path towards conscious conception, I know at a deeper level that I avoided this work because the mystery of conception scares me. I wanted it to be a straight forward no-nonsene experience, because not having control is scary.
Moonstone is the Mother Goddess stone, she is full mystery and total flow. I am sinking into her and opening up to the mystery of her essence.
We have flowed from humility to equal love and now the great Mother Goddess, the Moon Woman is calling us to sink down into her watery depths, to find our intuition, our emotional fields and to trust our wise and surrendered Goddess essence to guide us for this next month.
I look forward to being nurtured and inspired by moonstone and to watching the mystery unfold my path.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
Can you feel that wild and playful Mother Moon in the sky tonight?! I can, Gemini Mother Moon is here to play and to get us thinking, thinking, thinking and doing, doing, doing.
As I mentioned in my latest Crone Moon post, my cycle is the opposite of the moon’s, so while the moon is fertile tonight, I began my moontime exactly today. Thus I begin my energetic release on the Crone Moon and finalize my intention on the Mother Moon. My Scorpio Crone Moon intention was to release my anxiety cycle, the conditioned response to life’s happier and lighter moments to seeking out the next unsafe moment and starting up a cycle of anxiety.
As the past two weeks have unfolded I have witnessed how I have simultaneously felt safer and more secure than I ever have before and more aware of this anxiety cycle than ever before.
I have been more settled and content and happy than ever, and as I sat in this comfort and content I witnessed myself jump back into the anxiety cycle. While this cycle is obviously quite familiar, this felt like the final pull, like the illusion and lack of choice about this cycle was ending. I was out of my body witnessing myself wind out of control, pleading with my husband to make it go away, to discuss all of our alternative plans for worst case scenario and yet it was all so distant and foreign to me, like I was watching a play on a stage unfold. At the end of a very long night of ‘discussing’ I looked at my Beloved and said “but what really changed here? All we did was talk until I wore myself out.” In hindsight what had happened was that we had taken time to connect after our daughter was in bed, we had put our marriage before relaxing on the couch and though I had been in my anxiety cycle, once I got through it to the end we both remembered our first blossom of love, how little anything else beyond our love had mattered. We stayed up looking at old pictures and reminisced about how magical falling in love was.
This topic brought me back to a big lesson I am working on, loving in the face of all challenging human experiences. I ask myself, how can I love better in this situation and it automatically highlights choices contrary to those that my ego would take. As my Beloved and I fell into one another’s arms I somehow felt that all would be well and didn’t think about the busy topics in my mind. The next day he was told he wasn’t needed for work, and the three of us just enjoyed the extra day with Daddy free of my worry about finances and the upcoming winter months, the following day we received great news financially and all, as always, was proven to be well.
As my moontime began today I observed how light it is and how light I feel, while I generally have easy moontimes, today, I am feeling the Gemini Moon energy and I feel lighter energetically than I normally would on the first day of my moontime. I am releasing the end of that anxiety cycle and looking at what this energetic and fertile moon is offering me, energetically we are all being fertilized right now.
Gemini is a foreign energy to me, I don’t have Gemini in any of my planets or houses, though two out of the three sisterfriends of mine are Gemini, so I understand from a distance this energy. Despite the foreign personal nature to me, upon reflection I have a lot of Gemini activities occurring right now, four writing projects to complete in the next week and a half, I have been casted as the lead role in a play to be performed in two months and have three rehearsals a week to participate in, as well as maintaining a rhythmic Waldorf home for my family as I make Christmas preparations for the month ahead.. Life is busy right now, but it is fun, just like Gemini.
The Mother Moon teaches us to balance, with a Gemini Mother Moon we are balancing Gemini Lunar energy with Sagittarius Solar energy we are being called to balance the desire to do a lot and to think a lot with the impulse to create adventures and engage in projects that inspire us in philosophical matters. We are being inspired and moved to do a lot and with the moon and the sun calling up so much energy and offering us all of this mental food we are headed straight towards burn out if we don’t stop to give some of this energy to ourselves.
That very subject is what I was contemplating this week as I was feeling so at the end of my patience rope with my daughter at nighttime. She has been extra needy and not wanting me to leave bed and waking frequently and I’ve just felt like I need a moment to myself. I was confused because I’ve had more time apart from her than ever with these rehearsals, and I love acting, it is so much fun and something that I’ve missed dearly, I wasn’t getting why having these three hour breaks to go out and play through my acting wasn’t counteracting my impatience at night. What I realized as I was praying through the impatience in bed, was that, while a lot of fun, acting still requires that I give my all, my creativity, my imagination, my energy, my focus, my heart and soul, this is now a new area that I am giving out my energy. Being introverted becoming drained is a particularly sensitive possibility for me. I began to see how, like the Gemini Maiden that was bursting into full moon light, I too was getting so excited with how good things are feeling in my life that I was forgetting that I need time to reboot, alone time to reboot.
My husband and I have our evenings together (though they do start late depending on when our little love decides she is ready for bed) and it is a necessity, it feeds our bond and our love bank, yet, even that isn’t enough for refilling my tank, I need some solitary time for myself.
That is the big lesson that I am taking out of tonight’s Mother Moon, Gemini Mother is reminding me that having fun is a wonderful experience in life, for myself in particular, somebody who has been heavy and serious for much of my life, having fun and enjoying life is a great merit of success, yet it must be tempered with relaxation, rest and time with myself and my Creator.
I have just re-started the Course in Miracles daily lessons this week, just those few days of beginning have started to make a shift, so has my realization that it is not only okay, but necessary for this Mama, Wife, Homemaker, Priestess, Writer, Actor, ad infinitum to have time to myself, unstructured free time to just be. Owning this truth is invigorating me with a new sense of freedom.
Freedom is a key component in the Gemini Archetype’s life mission, tonight I am finding freedom in claiming that space for myself. I feel as though there is one final lesson that is being sparked within me right now, part of it is inspired by a book that I am being a sounding board for as it is being written, a wonderfully powerful memoir called I Am Bliss, written by Bliss Prema, (you can see a sneak peak about what this powerful memoir is all about here: https://vimeo.com/122687559). Without giving away any of her personal wisdom, her words had me reflecting on my inner voice, the tendency that I have to consistently check in with how I think others are feeling towards me. I have learnt how irritating it can be to be constantly asked “is everything okay?” and so I don’t ask others how they are feeling towards me, but I’m often investigating, asking little questions, feeling out how I perceive they are feeling towards me.
I caught myself twice today, once as I was about to call my Grandma. My daughter and I were out having a lovely and unseasonably warm morning at the park and baseball diamond, I was committed to not putting a time restraint on her play and she was in Heaven. I observed my desire to fill the quiet and slow time with tasks on my phone, I resisted, then the thought popped into my head that my Grandma had seemed ‘off’ towards me last night, I was going to give a quick call and just feel things out, maybe say or do something to get her re-connected to me. How utterly co-dependent and self-centred?! She has just returned from a trip out East and it was late last night when I had seen her and she’s old, I’m sure intellectually it had nothing to do with me, and yet this unconscious wounded part of me was about to call her. The other time that I caught myself today was in thinking about a woman in my life that texts me constantly and hasn’t initiated the past few days. Despite knowing how busy she is at work I replayed our previous texts over in my head, attempting to decipher which one had turned her off. Not only is this insane, it takes up so much energy! Tonight when I was about to ask my husband about her, I paused and a thought came rushing up from within my soul, “who cares?” I know I didn’t do anything to either of these two people, it has nothing to do with me. The freedom to stop focusing on what and how others perceive me or feel about me is so hopeful for me and I feel the lunar power of the Gemini Mother Moon sparking this possibility within.
This is my Gemini Mother Moon intention, freedom to claim space for myself to be and freedom from focusing on how I perceive others perceiving me.
I would love feedback, how is the Gemini Mother Moon lighting you up tonight? What is being inspired within you? Is freedom making itself known to you as well? Drop a note and let me know how the rest of our tribe is integrating tonight’s playful and energetic Mother Moon.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from: https://journeywithladymaya.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/full-moon-in-gemini.jpg