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Sagittarius Crone Moon, becoming a student of self again.

Another Crone Moon is looming, darkly hidden in our skies tonight. The Crone Moon, for anyone that may not remember or may be new to this blog, is what we in Feminine Mysticism call the New Moon.

Crone Moon’s are Moon’s for releasing and letting go, they represent the cycle of the month when women traditionally bled together, when we utilized red tents and weren’t influenced by artificial light and chemicals in the same way that we are today. While the fertile women bled, the Crone’s who no longer bled sat in the red tents and shared their wisdom, prophecy and ways of old with the bleeding women, filling them with the sustenance of deep feminine wisdom.

Our womb spaces are intrinsically linked to the Moon, they are ruled by the water element and are the sacred cauldron’s of women, they are what make us women the Grand Receivers. Thus, when the Moon is dark she pulls at the waters in our womb and whether we are still bleeding with the cycle of this Moon, we are energetically at our lowest and the more tapped in we are the easier it is to consciously release.

Over the years I have witnessed which Moons and seasons feel the most comfortable to me, predictably I have preferred the watery Moon’s and the watery times of year, the Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces seasons and Moons, followed closely by the earthy times of year and Moons. I have shared quite often about how uncomfortable the fiery times are for me, air I seem to navigate okay, but the fire element and I, we have been working to find a harmonious relationship for years.

I was pleasantly surprised to find myself at ease with today’s energy, and inspired by the Sagittarius Moon and Sun that is infusing us with her energetic imprints right now. I was due to have a Sagittarius baby and spent a month trying to find a ‘click’ with this sign, a sign that has been up there with one of my least favourite signs out there. I loved that baby and knew that ushering in a Sagittarius life would hold great lessons and blessings for me and my family, alas, that baby was not meant to be earth~bound and we said goodbye to that baby over Mother’s Day when I miscarried.

I have been thinking about that baby a lot lately as my due date for her/him comes closer and closer, a lot has changed in the past months since that loss, I have a new pregnancy blooming within my womb, and I have a fondness for the first time ever with Sagittarius that has dawned within me. I give some of that credit to the baby and imagine that some of that baby’s consciousness lingers to teach me.

The big turn around for me has been an ability to tap into the hope, optimism and zeal that Sagittarius possesses by nature. Three aspects that used to feel foreign to me now feel inspiring and I understand why Sagittarius is such a refreshing time, she comes during our darkest days and lights us up, it’s as if she isn’t even aware of the heavy, sleepy energy that has been pulling us deeper and deeper, she certainly has no fear.

My birthday was a few weeks ago, during that oh~so~comfy Scorpio time of year when I was born, normally I don’t want for much on my birthday. I know that my parents are likely to give me a generous amount of money as a gift and my husband will get me whatever I have been fancying that year, last year it was two butterfly pillows, the year before a particular crystal. Our lives flow financially, yet we are by no means even close to being considered well off by society’s standards, so, when an oracle set that I had been enchanted with years ago during my Priestess training came back into my awareness I begged my husband to find a way to get it for me for my birthday (it is quite pricey). Between the two of us I am the much more stingy one, and while I could have bought it for myself, I really wanted my husband to do that magic that only he can do where he shows up with the thing I’ve been aching for that financially didn’t seem possible (he did that when he proposed to me with my dream ring that I had used as a template for the style I liked, never imagining that he would be able to find a way to purchase it for me.)

This oracle had been a huge part of my Priestess training, though it wasn’t a part of the curriculum I was trained under, it was quietly and unobtrusively sitting in a corner at the temple where I did my training. My first weekend away at the temple, introvert that I am, I slinked away from my sisters and sat down in the corner where this oracle also sat, I pulled a card and opened the book, expecting a digestible explanation for the card that I had pulled and instead felt myself being sucked deep within the depths of my very being. Each word was a feast to my soul, the visceral experience that I had using this oracle was like nothing I had experienced before from using a divination tool. There was much more to the oracle than I ever got to learn, there were runes and cd’s and an entire book that took one through it’s own Priestess Process, I only dabbled with this powerful tool. For a while after my ordination I would see this oracle in a local bookstore, it always seemed out of reach financially for me, but I knew that the day would come where I would splurge, that’s what I thought, until the day came that the store no longer carried the oracle, and despite the ardor I felt towards the set I eventually forgot what it was called.

7 years later and my best friend began to email me about some online Goddess work that had been inspiring her of late, as I followed some of the links to the forums that she had been participating in I realized that the Priestess of this forum was trained under the lineage of the oracle that I had lost years ago. I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that my husband did his magic and for the past three weeks now I am one deeply revered owner of said oracle (find link to this oracle at the bottom of this post).

I have begun to study it from the beginning and was waiting patiently to get to the section that discussed the cards, that was the plan, until the cards began to call to me. They are deeper than cards, they are depth incarnate and they shift my consciousness simply by my pulling and studying bits and pieces of their meaning. I have felt fundamental portions of who I have identified myself with shifting as I have gotten deeper and deeper into this work, and this is what I am contemplating as I excitedly invite tonight’s Crone Moon energy into my life experience.

I like hope. I like optimism. I like zeal. Me! I am the last person in the world that I would have ever suspected would experience a positive connection to these qualities. I am observing as all new windows of opportunity open for me to experience aspects of self that I have never known before, I am able to envision a future that is a mystery and an adventure awaiting me. The older I got, the more predictable I was believing life to be, despite my desire for magic and awakening to continue to grow, something was calcifying within me as I aged and I began to roll my eyes a lot more at concepts that had once lit the younger version of me up.

With the influx of hopeful, truth seeking, believing energy of the Sagittarius Crone with me tonight, I give thanks for a deepening of my experience of life. On this eve there is a depth that is as deep as the darkest depths that I have enjoyed trudging through for years and yet warmer, lighter and happier than that which I have yet known. There is a freedom to realizing that I am still a student of myself, Sagittarius is the philosopher, the great seeker of truth, and I feel this energy infusing my desire to open and to expand my consciousness to greater widths than ever before, and I believe that is still possible.

I have been telling my husband this week, “I want this to be a fresh cycle,” the upcoming Winter season, “even if it looks similar to last Winter, I don’t want to assume it will be, I want this cycle to be fresh.” That is what I am intending for all of my life right now. The Sagittarius Crone is encouraging me to release rigid old beliefs, to soften the calcification of pragmatism that was solidifying my view of myself and what it was I thought that I was capable of and to let go of my identification with everything. As I let go of all that I identify myself with, I become the student again, out on a quest to find my truest nature, the eternal Sagittarian quest for the highest truth and the highest state of consciousness, that is what I am intending tonight.

Generally an extroverted sign, this sign being under the introverted, lunar energy of the Moon is turning it’s expanded vision from the outer realm back into the inner ones for all of us tonight. As we open up to the zeal, optimism and expansion of Sagittarius as the Crone Moon, what can we collectively release so that we may become as students ready and willing to open wider and to rise higher? What would it be like, if all of us as a community were able to release our identification with all concepts and ways of being that we had previously believed to be representations of us, and what would our wold look like if each one of us took that expanded vision of the Sagittarian Adventurer and turned it inward, focusing on an inner journey before focusing on the outer world and it’s illusory stories in front of us? What kind of a world can we envision tonight as we align with the powerful Sagittarius Crone Moon?

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly

artist: Autumn Skye

link to oracle:

Solstice Surrender

The Summer Solstice paired with the Mother Strawberry moon, the second Sagittarius full moon in a month, has completely depleted me.

I’m not a light gal, I’m a dark (not heavy, dark like mystery, cool, lunar, night) gal, today’s sun which is only to be followed by a fiery full moon has fried me.

My intention for this Solstice was to gather with the community that is slowly building for me here, as it was, the only time that worked for availability for everyone was two days ago. I had felt mildly disappointed that we were going to be gathering a full 48 hours before Solstice, however, as the day drew closer I became grateful for the time to prepare the way for today’s bright zenith.

As I panted and rubbed cool clothes all over me during this record breaking hot day I was immensely appreciative that grace had paved the way for us to meet before today, I don’t know that I could have led ceremony or set intention in this heat, sitting down to write feels like a miracle as it is.

Our ceremony was wonderful, we examined the shadow side of our sun sign and decided on what it was that we were wiling to release from our shadow self on the Solstice, today I threw a rock with what I was letting go of (written on it) into the creek that flowed beside my daughter and I. In ceremony we also went within to discover our power words for the four elements, words of power that we would walk with during this next phase of the wheel and intended for those qualities to be magnified during the Solstice hours.

The Sun is all power, we discussed power and the responsibility that comes with it and focused on the old saying “Do as Thou wilt an it harm none.”

I left the ceremony feeling lighter, feeling focused and feeling inspired. The past few weeks have been an energetic upswing for me, the laws of grace have been working in my life and I have been really devoted to practicing principles of grace in my days. I’ve been feeling simplified and called to really focus on home and family and with this has come a sense of peace and being settled.

I will utilize tonight’s Mothering Fiery Moon energy to reconnect to my passionate self and to re light the fires within. Tonight’s moon marks the end of my first moon time since my miscarriage, soon we will try again. There is much hope up ahead.

The Summer season is ruled by the water element in the tradition that I was trained in, water is my element, I yearn to flow and to wade, I am ready for the waters of Mother Nature. This season my focus is on surrender, passion, inspiration, trust, and family and home sweet home.

That’s all that I have for tonight, my family and I are about to take down our spring nature table, tomorrow morning my daughter will wake up to a wave puzzle and a new blue silk and summer book left for her from the Summer Mother Goddess. We are also going to take down the spring altar in our prayer room and review the cards that we had all pulled for the spring season. I was to focus on strength, visualization and passion this past season. I see now that I didn’t as much focus on those attributes as they found me. I needed strength to walk through my miscarriage and to face the demons of control that had been pulling at me for the past year. Visualization called for me to focus on what felt good rather than my worries, and passion challenged me to re-define what matters most to me in my life.

Tonight I will ask for the light of the moon and the light of the sun to guide us as we pull our summer cards and prepare for a new turn of the wheel, what lies ahead is a mystery to me, all that I know is that gentleness and peace seem to be guiding my way right now and for that I am eternally grateful.

Merrry Solstice to you and yours!

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from (editing done by moi)

Gemini Crone Moon, releasing both sides of the coins that no longer serve.

The moon is in her new phase tonight, she is under the astrological sign of Gemini, giving us a Gemini Crone Moon.

Gemini Crone’s are so much fun, they have the unbridled, spirit connection that is freed from a great majority of the earth-bound heaviness that mother aged women have and they have their perpetual maiden energy, their quick mind, hunt for fun and love of mischief all rolled up into one radical and zany package.

Gemini’s need to live in two worlds at once to truly feel calm, they are from the fairy realm and they move quicker than the speed of light.

Crone Moon’s are all about release, with the airy influence of fey Gemini here tonight, our release can be quick and encompass many different subjects.

For myself the idea of parallel realities is what is coming up to be investigated. For years now I have felt myself shift in and out of subtle reality shifts, similar to the movie Vanilla Sky, when Tom Cruise’s character begins to shout out “it’s a nightmare, I’m in a nightmare,” my tough days get shifted when I sense that I am in the wrong reality, the sensation is comparable to lucid dreaming. I then shift into the ‘good’ reality.

Since my move a year ago I have been integrating different energies. The place that I moved from was very light, airy, watery and full of ethereal beings. Where I now live is earthy, grounded and full of solid and practical folks. The spirit work that I do here feels as though it takes a longer to gain momentum, but it also creates lasting rivets in my reality. Shifting from the ‘bad’ reality takes more time for me here than it did there but it also creates strong and lasting change. I’m learning how to navigate more earthy energies and the stronger I get at it the freer I feel.

Last week I returned back West. It was a real moment of grace that resulted in a paid trip for my daughter and I, this trip occurred after walking through a miscarriage and the death of my father-in-law.

The first 48 hours that I walked along the lush streets that I called home for 10 years I felt completely ungrounded and lost in the ethers. As I prayed and did some root chakra kundalini yoga I began to land in my body and in the city.

As I walked I prayed, what did the strong emotions I was encountering mean?

What came to me was a visceral sense that the city had been the Mother Goddess to me, She had held me as I healed and that while I will continue to heal as new wounds are cut, my past is laid to rest, my trauma, my wounds have been healed. I am whole. As I contemplated the healing that the city had offered me I felt myself letting go of a year’s worth of stress since my move and I felt as though I was back to be rejuvenated, the following morning my friend texted me asking “how’s the healing going?” I hadn’t told anybody about my thoughts surrounding the city healing me, I stood frozen as I read the text, it took me a moment to realize he was asking about the miscarriage, I’m sure the universe was writing through him, because as I read the text it became apparent to me that I was also there to heal from my miscarriage.

That night the woman who had flown me announced that she would have to do this more often, suddenly, my decade long dream of being able to live in two worlds, west and east became a possibility and the thought of only having six days to spend in the city was alleviated, I would be back, I could just enjoy my time.

I spent the rest of my trip soaking up all of the energies that I missed, visiting the sacred book store, the crystal shops, the lush rainforest, drinking it all in. I felt a crystal calling to me and I was led to her, I began to fill her with the essence of the west coast to take home with me.

Before we decided to move I made a commitment to focus on what I loved about the west coast and about what I loved about moving away, I didn’t want to diminish the city by picking out its flaws in order to feel better about leaving. During this trip I focused on what I loved about the west, what I loved that I had left and what I loved that my family and the Creator have been creating in our new home.

Returning to the west I felt as though I had never left, it’s as if I am still living there, in another reality, while I’mm living here in this reality that I’m aware of. My crystal symbolizes a merging of both worlds, I have brought back the energies of the west that I love and I have that energy here with me in this energy. I have much work left to do here in our new home, learning how to dig into the earth energies and how to rise up as well.

As tonight’s Crone Gemini Moon looms high above and aids us all in shedding I am shedding the parts of me that aren’t truly me, the accumulated energies that I have allowed into my auric field, a preoccupation with finances, a tighter and more stern energy, these are energies that I have accumulated since my move. I am also releasing a sense of wandering and never truly settling down from my other reality, I am letting go of cool walls that keep other at a distance. I am shedding all that doesn’t serve me in both realities, I am calling on the Gemini Crone to work with the twin energies of contradiction within me and asking that she aid me in shedding both sides of the same coins that I am ready to let go of.

Too much focus on the material/denial of the material
Too much heaviness/ too much flightiness
Too much focus on the practical/ too much focus on the etheral
Too much dependance on others/ too much self-reliance
What a fantastic, quick moving and magical moon we have with us tonight. I invite all of you to work with the twin energies of Gemini tonight and the wisdom of the Crone moon, allowing her to cleanse you and to release you from both sides of the coin that seems to be hindering your walk at this time. As these coins are dropped and we are cleared of the energies that influence us but aren’t truly of us we open up room to plant seeds during the maiden moon, our next phase, seeds of intention to intend that nothing influence us besides the Divine within.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from :

Sagittarius Mother Moon, lunar beams of hope raising me up.

Tonight’s Mother Moon is a blue moon, the second full moon in one month. This month has been insanely intense for me, the fact that five planets have been retrograde has not made this pressure cooker of a month feel any easier.

I have been dreading tonight’s moon, and in my dreading has come an avoidance to writing tonight. Because of this avoidance I have been reading old posts of mine about Sagittarius Mother Moon’s. On my Priestess of Grace Facebook page I found that the majority of Sagittarius Mother Moon’s I have written about have been big one’s, they have been super moons and moons ending eclipses or moons on Friday the 13th. I also discovered that last year’s Sagittarius Mother Moon was also full during a Mercury Retrograde, it was also not an easy one for me.

What I found interesting when I read last year’s blog post about the Sagittarius Mother Moon was remembering what a tough time that moon was for me, and yet, in retrospect I have found memories of that time. The unknown, living with my parents, the quiet spring days that felt so long are now warm memories of a time when we were all close as a family and awaiting what would be. What a profound and cliched truth that the times when we struggle become the ones we remember with fondness, once we are through them.

I don’t know if that will be the case with this time in my life however.

I have been dreading tonight’s moon because it is a Sagittarius Mother Moon. Normally I don’t look forward to Sagittarius energies, as it is one of my least favourite energies, however, I had conceived a Sag-to-be. While I was pregnant with my little archer I began to appreciate this energy, as I contemplated how I would mother a Sagittarius and how young Sagittarius energy would influence our family dynamic all of the most shining qualities of Sagittarius began to rise up in my consciousness. I felt the little archer influencing my energy as it grew in my womb.

I actually became excited to be around Sagittarius energy.

I was excited.

And then I miscarried. A big, messy, bloody, almost pass out and end in surgery miscarriage.

I new this moon was coming and I was not looking forward to it, in fact we will have two Sagittarius Mother Moon’s this year and the idea of big emotional Sagittarius energy made me fear what would come up for me. Where is my lesson in all of this?

As if loosing my baby wasn’t hard enough for us as a family, less than two weeks later my father-in-law passed away. That’s one baby and one father that my husband lost within a two week period. At this point I was expecting us all to just sink down into a dark abyss of despair, a heavy, sinking swamp of grief for our family to wade through.

Somehow, unexpectedly, I feel brighter than ever, and my husband that has been struggling immensely, which has meant large struggles within our marriage, with his father’s cancer, seems softer and more grounded than ever. I attribute this to a few factors, first grace, big grace to carry us through this time, and next love, our marriage came to a breaking point of grief and we decided we had to find lightness and love with each other despite our circumstances, and lastly, the spirit of my Sagittarius baby and my father-in-law.

I truly feel as though that Sagittarius spirit-to-be, the sign of optimism and good luck is with me now, I feel that little being beside me like a cherub angel and I feel as though the pureness of that being blesses me and is infusing me with optimism and hope, two things that are very foreign to my nature.

I also feel as though my father-in-law is guiding my husband through this time and his gentle spirit is tending to my husband’s heart.

Sagittarius Mother Moon’s are all about emotional optimism and emotional adventures. I have been just so stressed and sad these past months and after my husband and I hit our breaking point I began to reach up spiritually, I needed to be lightened and to get back into the vortex, I could not live in the realm of circumstances because the circumstances just continued to get worse and worse.

I found an Abraham Hick’s prosperity process, it involves spending energetic money, $1,000 the first day $2,000 the next and so on, you write cheques and decide what you will spend your energetic money on. The first day I ‘bought’ more groceries, herbal products and some more items I had been needing but waiting on due to our budget. The second day I got stuck after ‘spending’ $800, that was eye opening to me, I didn’t know how to spend dream money. I didn’t know how to dream about what I wanted for the joy of it, I realized I spend my time dreaming about what I want in the needs department and the ministry department but not so much in the fun and wants department. As I began to expand my dreams and to get into the ‘spending’ all of a sudden new money began to appear, money that I wanted deposited into our savings account, I always want extra money in the savings account. It dawned on me, if we had extra money that flowed into our life, we could take a small portion for us as a family, just as ‘fun’ money, I suggested this to my husband and he agreed, for the first time in years I began to feel excited and happy about money and not at all stressed about spending it.The next day, I realized that we had even more extra money, more to deposit into savings and more to take a portion for some fun.

This energy of flow and prosperity and enjoying the prosperity and being ‘lucky’ (I don’t believe in luck but it’s the Sagittarius term) reminds me about the bright side of Sagittarius. I’ve had many Sagittarius men in my life and now this baby and these moons, so much Sagittarius energy, energy that was my least favourite for a very long time, energy that I resisted up until this baby, energy that I probably always would have resisted if not for this baby. I feel blessed by the archer now and I feel blessed to have an archer spirit by my side, my ‘good luck’ spirit.

Tonight, as the moon shines full of optimism and hope I open my heart up, willing and ready to feel the pain, and exceptionally surprised to find that there is joy, light and hope that is shining through. The moon rules the emotions and the emotional realm is our guidance system, it tells us whether we are in alignment with Source energy or not. A positive and uplifting Sagittarius Mother Moon gives us all the opportunity to walk through our darker emotions and step into the light of the vortex

As you open yourself and your heart up to the archer moon tonight you may find that some of this adventurous, unfiltered, lucky energy enlivens your emotional world and begins to create experiences beyond your wildest dreams, that’s the goal I have set my sites on for tonight, a life that is beyond my dreams, a life that is guided and directed by my full and beautiful emotional guidance system.

This is a complete turn about for my soul, once upon a time, 13 years ago, I discovered that I had a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body that could only be overcome by obtaining hope. I was crushed, I shared with my tribe that hope was something I would not tolerate, I wound’t, couldn’t risk opening myself up to hope and being let down, I had been too crushed by life, too traumatized and betrayed. 13 years later and in the face of a devastating two weeks I find myself buoyed and carried on the wings of hope and this hope that I find comfort and validation in only leads to more hope as I witness true change and evolution within my soul’s evolution on this earth plane.

Tonight I am soaking up this hope and beaming it out into the world from my open and full heart, I wish that all of you will ride these lunar beams of hope into newer expressions of life and dreaming and love as we continue to evolve and grow together on the wings of hope’s light.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from:

May : Lepidolite

Lepidolite is all about feeling your feelings.

I have been feeling some feelings, some very real feelings this month.

Scorpio’s process their feelings deeply and internally, it takes a lot to get me to express any emotion that is outside of the range of anger (patience is not my strong suit) or happiness (joy and the such is also restrained and kept within myself , a joyful little private blanket). We Scorpio’s feel deeply but privately, unlike Cancer’s whose emotions are a totally mystery as they wall them up within their crab shell, our emotions are mysterious in that they are expressed so subtly, however they just emanate off of us, like this deep vibrating power wand of emoting and so it is apparent that something is going on beneath the surface, but just what it is is a mystery to most.

These feelings that I”m feeling have been beyond the general realm of my Scorpio feelings. They are steeped in trauma, they are drenched in grief, and they are cloaked in powerlessness.

Dioptase, our crystal for last month, opened our hearts and I had a happy little secret, I was pregnant.

I was pregnant.

I miscarried, the miscarriage began on Mother’s Day, such a bitter way to spend Mother’s Day, such an untraditional way to spend Mother’s Day, in the ER asking for confirmation that I was indeed loosing my child.

I have a wealth of writing to do around that subject, my miscarriage is not the topic of this Crystal post. How I’m feeling my feelings is.

I’ve been walking dizzily around as I wait for the copious amounts of blood that I lost to replenish within my body in a shocked haze. Of course this week would just happen to be the busiest of week’s for my husband, long work hours during the day and his play is being performed all week in the evening which means full days and nights of caring for a toddler and having very little time to myself. Long days with my 2 year old that still doesn’t know that she will not be a big sister this Christmas. In this dizzy haze I observed how detached I feel and I am aware that a large part of it is shock and lack of blood.

However, I have feelings that break through, most of them anger right now. Go figure, my go to emotion, anger at the friends that didn’t reach out that knew, angry at the friends that brushed off what happened in a nonn-chalant manner, anger at the people that weren’t understanding of my pregnancy when I was pregnant and knew and angry at a society that says we shouldn’t tell anyone that we are pregnant in our first trimester in case this happens. Angry that it is socially unacceptable to openly discuss miscarriage and that I feel ashamed and embarrassed to post this.

My husband went and found me a piece of lepidolite, I have been holding it and looking at the lilac crystals that glitter on the stone and bitterly reflecting on the purpose of this month’s crystal, to get me to feel. Deeper than my resistance to feel right now is an awareness that not feeling my feelings is a part of freezing trauma into my body and I don’t want to do that. So I sit with this beautiful crystal, in this beautiful month of birth and growth and I feel how empty my womb is now, how scared I feel within my body and how a part of our family has left us.

I am learning to feel the feelings in the moment that they are there. My daughter is a great barometer that allows me to witness how much feelings I’m allowing in. The more I resist her very open and often loud expression of her emotions, the more I know that I am in resistance to emotions altogether.

Tonight, I am focusing on honouring my daughter’s full expression of emotions, knowing that the more I honour her right to feel fully and don’t try to suppress or quiet her, the more I am able to offer that to myself. She is fussy, she is crying and screaming and I am holding her and repeating “Mommy’s here, you’re safe, Mommy’s here,” not trying to fix anything, just being there to hold her and allow her to feel. As I do this, I imagine that there is a Divine Mother doing the same for me, wrapping Her divine wings around me and letting me know that I am safe, that She is here and giving me the space to feel it all through.

Until next time,
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly