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The Influence of Love, via Sage Woman Blogs

http://witchesandpagans.com/sagewoman-blogs/priestess-grove/the-influence-of-love.html

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Sweetness and Light, the depths of Joy at Beltane

Beltane is Samhain’s opposite festival, where Samhain opens up the veils to allow the dead to rise and the darkness to descend, Beltane opens up the veils and allows the fey to rise and the light to ascend.

Beltane seems to be the one festival out of the eight on the wheel of the year that I easily miss or discount, at the beginning of May I am either processing the spring anxiety that can come and grab me, or I am just out and enjoying the changing weather and not truly aware of the shifting of the wheel.

The depth involved in Beltane has often alluded me just as the Taurean mysteries often do. Being a Scorpio Sun with a Taurus Moon, understanding both sides of these opposing energies is an important life lesson of mine. Since the dawning of my awareness of astrology and my personal astrological make-up, Scorpio has been the sign that I identified the easiest with, being my soul energy sign and such an intense one it is easy to understand why this would be, Taurus has easily been left as a secondary energy, one that I placed after Scorpio.

I get the depths in mystery, darkness, the underworld, my shadow, my unconscious, dreams and swirling oceans that never end which Scorpio and Samhian encompass. The depths of joy, merriment, romance, love, blossoming, celebration and light magic that Taurus and Beltane encompass have seemed a little too ‘nice’, too ‘sweet’ for such a heavy and intense person as I.

However, as my Goddess path unfolded before me I began to weary of having struggles and challenges be my catalyst for growth and transformation, I began to wonder if joy couldn’t be a touchstone for spiritual growth, I wanted joy to be my new touchstone for growth, I wanted to be so joyful that I was compelled to open even wider, to raise up in vibration even higher, if challenges could be a touchstone for spiritual growth, surely blessings actualized could be as well, couldn’t they?

That idea was my first inkling of what kinds of depths this Beltane day could offer me. The closest I have come to experiencing what I believe the essence of this day holds for us all is when I fell in love with my husband. I always expected falling in love to be a passionate, all encompassing, drink each other’s blood kind of obsessive merging for me. While we never drank each other’s blood, there definitely was that passion and obsession that I had imagined I would experience when I fell in love, but there was also sweetness, lightness, innocence and playfulness, aspects of myself that I hadn’t known since I was too young to remember clearly. Not only could I barely remember those aspects of myself, they were aspects that I had shut down at an early age, aspects that had made me feel vulnerable and unsafe in what was a cruel reality that I first arrived in. When I sat down on my first date with my husband, he and I had a moment where our eyes locked and no words came, we just held each other’s gaze and I felt the air element as my heart chakra burst open wide, in that moment I realized that I had never felt someone open my heart before, all of my previous romantic encounters had been of the second chakra variety. With my heart opening came an instant return to innocence and my husband and I enjoyed a good three years of the ‘honeymoon’ phase, sweetness and light filled our lives and sweetness and light is what I believe Beltane calls up and brings back to Earth each time the Wheel of the Year returns to the first of May.

I have felt far from sweetness and light as of yet, in fact I have felt very dark and heavy, dark and heavy in the way that I did before entering my conscious path. It did not feel like my natural state anymore, yet I could not find my way above water. After a year long pregnancy (one miscarriage followed by another pregnancy) fraught with complications, a traumatic birth, a newborn in the NICU for a week and then what felt like a crushing case of Postpartum Anxiety and a potentially colicky newborn all of the lights seemed to be going out for me. Like the Swamp of Sorrows from the Neverending Story I began to really sink into dread, remorse and hopelessness. I got lost in the past, how joyful I once was, how in love I once was, how free I once was, how much fun my first born and I once had, and down I went.

Finally I got serious about getting out of the swamp. I took the practical steps needed, visited a homeopath, reached out to my women and shared where I was at, called on my spiritual guides, told the doctor, started taking my vitamins and probiotics, started eating very healthy. I also did everything I could to support my emotional, mental and spiritual health. I prayed, meditated, did breath transmutation work, and became diligent about being in the now. I began to feel some relief and then this past week I started to pray that the Holy Spirit would enter my hormones and started to notice a huge shift, these were all hopeful steps in the right direction for me.

Suddenly this morning I woke up, the first one awake in the house, my baby was asleep beside me, my husband and three year old were cuddling asleep in the other room and I scanned my body to find that not only was there no anxiety or dread, there was energy and joy. I breathed it in, afraid to even admit it to myself at first, energy and joy was the last of a tiny list of intentions that I had written for myself during a surrender exercise I had read in the book Letting Go, the Pathway to Surrender, and here I was on Beltane morning waking up with energy and joy.

As I enjoyed a rain day with my husband home from work, snuggled my sleeping newborn throughout the day, took a nature walk and marvelled at the lushness that is life at this time of year with my three year old and celebrated the birth of my ever warm and loving Beltane birthday Mother I knew in a way I have never known before that there is depth in joy, there is necessity in joy, there is wisdom in joy, as deep and profound as any darkness I have surrendered to in my life.

I spent years as a young woman negating the light aspects of life, viewing it as frivolous and lacking in true meaning or purpose, I was scared of the light, unbeknownst to me I wasn’t strong enough to be open and vulnerable in the sweetness and light of life.

Thanks to the Creator for leading me to this path, the many years I have followed the Wheel of the Year has opened me up to the vibrational changes that happen as the wheel turns and Beltane caught me right at the perfect moment, when I was open and raw and desperate for sweetness and light to re-enter my experience.

Today is a new beginning for me, I am celebrating all of the life that has bloomed in my life, my house overflows with young, budding, innocence, two beautiful Maidens at home. New love is flourishing as my husband and I reconnect to our dreams and share our mutual dreams of the future with each other.

Today, on Beltane, I am reminded that an intention of joy serves not only me, but the entire world, I see that on the smiles that are reflected back to me when my three year old sees me light up rather than tense up, I see it in the relaxed muscles of my husband’s face as my daughter and I shout “thank you Mother Nature” out the window, thanking her for sending rain so that we can spend the day with him, rather than nag at him about the money we aren’t making that day. I feel it in the ease with which my newborn curls up in my arms and sleeps for hours on end as she goes through her growth spurt.

Beltane may be the most personally profound of days for me on the Wheel of the Year now, sweetness and light, energy and joy, my newest life intentions, intentions that I plan to see reflected back to me in a sweet and light new world as we continue to evolve as a community of souls. Beltane may just be exactly what our world needs now, it’s definitely what my world needed today.

To each and every one of you,

Merriest of Beltane’s Ever!

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
artist: Josephine Wall

This Gracious Love

As I lay in bed at 1 am, feeling crushed by the weight of how vulnerable I am in the face of the love that I am overcome with for my child, a poem seeped into my consciousness.

This is what meeting my Creator’s love in a dream, falling in love with my husband and becoming a Mother has taught me about love.

For my daughter:

This Gracious Love

Unless it breaks you,
It is not love.
Until it shatters all illusory systems of control within your grasp,
It is not love.
If you can still breathe,
It is not love.
It is not light, it is not carefree,
It is a stifling blanket of bliss that threatens to leave you immobilized and paralyzed.
It is fragile as gossamer and the threat of it tearing away is enough to bring you to your knees.
Unless it incites a silent scream of surrender,
Of utter self-defeat,
It is not love.
Love will destroy you,
Forever,
With Her sacrosanct intoxication.
Love will claim you and never ever promise to stay put.
Love demands everything and for Her you must bleed to your last drop.
image taken from: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/07/9b/32/079b3230e9f88acf5ca88ad6ca19c448.jpg

A Prayer for the World

And when the night is raw and red,
and all that you have held close is washed away on the tides of tomorrow,
I am here.
Holding you,
remembering you,
loving you always.
The world will wear you down.
As the waves crash upon the rock and slowly wash it away,
so too will the world wash away every ounce of goodness that you came here with.
One wave at a time.
If you let it.
But,
if you choose to be the wave,
you can wear the world down,
with your love,
your grace,
your faith,
your kindness,
your vulnerability,
the softness of your spirit,
the delicate essence of your soul.
Each another wave that crashes upon the hardness of the world,
each another promise of a new world.
A world that flows as the ocean,
a world that is supported by soft, malleable Earth,
Earth that supports and holds and enfolds.
A world that is soft, open, safe and tender.
This is the world that is created when we choose to become the wave and allow our splendid selves to wash away the world that we have known.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly

image taken from: https://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwallpaperstock.net%2Focean-rusty-rocks-pink-sky-wallpapers_48998_1920x1200.jpg&bvm=bv.124272578,d.aXo&psig=AFQjCNHUkUQqj1OM8Yy79SePpDpKrTzb6g&ust=1465950515087828&cad=rjt

February : Morganite

There is very little written about Morganite in the Liquid Crystal book, one of the interesting points that is written about is the crystal’s connection to the sparrow, I will write more about that animal totem at the end of this week.

I have had a family emergency and was taken away from home to be with a suddenly ill family member. I have been focusing my energy on family and support, however, I will be returning to my home base and my crystal cards mid-week. At this time I will post the following month’s crystal focus, I will also make up for such a lull in this month’s focus by writing extensively about Morganite for the remainder of the month.

Until then, I will leave you with this.

I have been contemplating equality in love, does equality mean equal measures of the same? Or is it a completion through two or more people or situations bringing different elements to create a whole?

In my marriage equality is the complementary type, the kind where I receive and my husband gives, where I plan and my husband takes action, where I cook and he eats &#X1f609 where I nurture and he plays, each and everyday we complete a cycle together by bringing as close to %100 of our half of a puzzle to the table.

We also bring equality into our marriage through recognizing cycles and rhythms, some days one of us gives more and the other receives more, some days one of us extends love more than the other because at different points in our lives we have more to give or more to take than others.

It is only through commitment and observing these cycles as they develop over the years that I have been able to find security in the equality of love. As my husband faces the devastating reality of what his father is facing I am called to give more, to support more, to nurture more and in this cycle I will bring what is needed, as the cycles turn we will find an equilibrium and soon enough I will be the one that needs more and then again another equilibrium, and such is the equality that we have found in trusting the cycles of love’s expression in our marriage.

I would love to hear from any of you about how you have found the quality of equality in love to work together.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly

image taken from: http://the570.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/orig-21224119.jpg

February : Morganite

Justin Moikeha Asar writes/channels, “Be patient child, listen with love, take time to let the sounds that flow from you be filtered through the heart.” This is the opening line in his writing about Morganite and it spoke to me right away.

For years I have heard people in the healing and spiritual community discussing shielding themselves from negative energy, coming from a mystical background that does not believe that anything separate from Divinity, aka negativity, is real or has any substantial power except that which we give it, this never resonated with me. However, I did recognize that I was more susceptible to lower vibrational energies at different moments of the day or week. I didn’t want to begin shielding myself, but I did want to find a way to remain aligned and not influenced by other people’s fields, so I created what I called a Love Filter. I would envision my auric field surrounding me every morning before I went out into the world and I would feel into what colour I imagined it was, then I would intend that my auric field be a filter of love, only love could leave my energy filed and go out into the world and only love could enter. If my actions or thoughts were out of alignment they would be filtered by the love and if other people’s energy was off it would get filtered by the love and land on me as pure energy.

The piece of Morganite that I am working with this month is a big round piece on a chain that lies right over my heart chakra, it is infusing me with it’s cool, impersonal, unconditional love and helping to remind me of my love filter.

I took note of the fact that the author is reminding us to listen with love, rather than act or talk with love, that has been occurring for me much more in the past 10 days than it usually does. My husband is processing a major, life threatening affliction that his father was just diagnosed with three weeks prior, he is reacting in ways that are unpredictable from day to day. These reactions can trigger me from past relationships with men who weren’t safe and loving, however, I’ve been receiving a pause, a moment before reacting or internalizing something that has nothing to do with me and a voice inside of me is reminding me to listen to him as if it were me and then I know that what he is asking for is some love. Listening with love is listening with spirit ears, that will be my focus as I work with Morganite this month, to listen with my spirit ears to hear the message behind the words.

Grace Be With You
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly

image taken from: http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/truthsyoucanuse/files/2012/10/hearing-with-your-heart.jpeg

February : Morganite

February 1st has arrived and with it a new crystal focus has begun.

I am keenly aware of the fact that my Amethyst is sitting in my coat pocket right now, floating aimlessly amongst the black down. One of the aspects that I learn so much from in my Prietessing is the importance of creating space, holding a sacred container for the work that I do, this entails conscious beginnings and endings. I was ready to jump into February and explore Morganite, however, I will make some time today to thank the Amethyst for all that she has channeled for me in this past month and to complete my month with her, next month I plan on doing my completion on the last day of the month. My year-long plan is to collect each crystal that I work with over this year and create an altar with them, Amethyst will be the first on the altar.

I didn’t own a piece of Morganite and no longer live in a city where crystals are as easily accessible as they once were. I turned to online shopping, I was very leery, I have always shopped for crystals in a tactile manner. I would wait until one called to me and I was in love. I used to visit crystal shops weekly, often longing for a new crystal but leaving empty handed because none had called to me, I hadn’t had that ‘click’ that I was looking for.

Online shopping for my Morganite was an act of faith. To begin, I was amazed at how expensive Morganite is, I had seen the picture of Morganite and figured it was similar to Rose Quartz, which is so reasonably priced, I was mistaken, I am curious to discover the other ways that Morganite differs from Rose Quartz this month. I found that a lot of engagement rings are made with Morganite, not surprising considering it’s connection to universal love. I went from web page to web page, looked through Etsy and finally turned to Instagram. I searched the term Morganite and found a lovely piece, reasonably priced and it was on a chain. Normally I prefer crystals that I hold, but this one just felt right, I knew my heart chakra wanted this piece on top of it, I followed the page to it’s Etsy home, read the description and was sold, I found, to my pleasant surprise that I had fallen in love online. I felt my Morganite immediately and I continued to feel her as she was in transit and on her way to me.

When she arrived I put her to the side, and anxiously awaited today. This morning I took her out of her packaging and sat with her in our meditation room, I merged my vibration with hers and set my intention. I cleared away any excess energy she may of had, though she felt quite clear, and then I put her on. She is beautiful, so beautiful that my two year old has been trying to get me to give it to her.

I read the first portion of the writing on Morganite today and marvelled at how the Universe teaches me. Morganite is such a February stone, it is all about love, the giving and the receiving of it and this month is made popular by our western celebration of Valentine’s Day, what a perfect card to have pulled for this month’s focus.

What stuck out to me right away was that Morganite is associated with Equality in Love, which is so much different than our human sense of love, during this month when couples celebrate their love and people long for romance in their life, Morganite is coming up to the surface to remind us about the true energy of love. It is Universal, it may express itself romantically at times, yet it is so much more than romance.

We often confuse second chakra emotional experiences with fourth chakra Universal love, Universal love is not personal, it is an energy that pervades everything and shines upon everyone, no questions asked. Universal love just is.

Although love has felt like such a soft and flowery intention to me for years, just recently it has become a true and deep intention of mine. Love no longer seems like a soft and easy intention, the mystery of love, the beauty of it and the depths of it have begun to tug at my consciousness over the past six months, in fact my intention for 2016 was to respond with love. I am inspired and open to deepening my experience of and understanding of true love as we journey this month with the Universal Love of Morganite. I look forward to the support and wisdom that Morganite will offer and to our journey with this crystals for February.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly

Scorpio Crone Moon, the destruction of anxious cycles and the rebirth of grace.

I am moved out of the countryside, out of the big city and finally settled into a small town, what a lot of upheaval for this security loving Taurus moon Mama. Now that I am out of the country I have my internet service back, which means the freedom to get my writing done whenever I like (provided my dear sweet clinging Maiden is happy with her hard working Daddy watching her while I do).

I feel like a lifetime has passed since my last moon blog post, I can’t remember if it was the Mother moon or the Crone moon that I wrote on last. What I am left with today is such a tremendous amount of shifting, transcending, shedding and awakening to reflect on that I feel lost about the direction of tonight’s post. I have moved into a new home, held my first Goddess Gathering with a group of women in our home, been cast as the lead role beside my husband in a play and have had a huge amount of support within my home these past two and a half weeks with my mother in law arriving. If I try to weave everything that has occurred into one coherent blog post I fear I will end up writing a novel. So I shall start with the beautiful, magical, intimidating moon.

The moon is new tonight, she is under the astrological sign of Scorpio, giving us a Scorpio Crone moon. Scorpio is such an intense and destructive sign, when she merges with the dark moon of death and release her energy is powerfully eery and foreboding. I don’t know if it is because I have such strong Scorpio influence, (Scorpio sun, mercury and uranus) that I find these dark and intense nights to be relieving, peaceful and even joyous, or if it’s just a part of my personal oddity. Whatever the reason, I have always found the bright and cheery energy of Leo summers and the sweet and romantic sense of Taurus springs to be much more challenging and unsettling than dark, chilly Scorpio mooned nights like tonight.

My cycle is the opposite of the moon, when she is new and in the Crone phase of release, the time when women have traditionally bled, I am full and fertile. When she is in her Mother phase, and bright and full and robust, I am bleeding and emptying. Beyond the constant balancing act that I experience each month with these opposing energies, is the support that I receive. For me, the Crone moon is my energy moontime, the time when my energetic, more subtle, higher vibrational self sheds and let’s go of all that is not serving or has served it’s purpose.

The date today is 11/11 a blessed combination, 11/11, according to Doreen Virtue, is a message from your angels to become aware of your thoughts and what it is that you are focusing upon, for this is what will be brought about. Not a personal practitioner of manifestation, I recognize the challenge of this 11/11 combination with tonights’ moon. The Crone moon in Scorpio is all about releasing the dark, the hidden, the shadow self. Scorpio is the investigator, she uncovers what others dare not look at, she brings to light the taboo and she kills off all that is dead and unwanted. To look at all of these darker aspects when the 11/11 vibration is wanting to birth what it is that we are focusing upon is quite scary.I see the combination of this number sequence with this moon phase as a reminder to stay out of the head tonight and to go deep into the womb, the energetic cauldron of our power, mystery and blood.

Your inner cauldron holds all that you desire, all that you hold true and all that nourishes you, within this womb space is the energies that we receive into us, consciously and unconsciously, thus a cleansing of our inner cauldron creates a purified space for intentional energy to grow and to spread within us. Tonight’s moon is reminding me to feel into my womb and to release, to let go of the need to know what it is and why it’s there, to trust that I can navigate my energy without needing to intellectually process or analyze the mask, the story that covers the energy.

This is good news for me, as my focus really is very positive (not a natural state for me) right now, I am focusing on all that I am appreciative of and the many ways that grace has been appearing in my life. These recognitions will feed the 11/11 energy as I focus on all of the ways that I am supported and cared for.

My Taurus moon, Scorpio Sun and Capricorn Venus hold my strongest personal shadows, for me it is all about security and safety, Taurus needs, as well as trust, a Scorpio need, and control a Scorpio/Capricorn need. Grace fills these vast needs for me when I let go and allow grace to lead my way.

I am feeling the release of the moon deeply as the evening grows darker, I am feeling into what needs to be released and I sense a tightening within the pit of my stomach, a knot that is tying itself tighter and tighter behind my fourth chakra and a sinking sense within my gut. These sensations exist simultaneously, side by side with my peace and my joy, oh what a beautifully strange paradox life in the human realm is. The big release, the offering that I am asking for the wise old Scorpio Crone , the witch archetype, to take from me, is the release of habitual energetic patterns. Namely, the cycle of ease, peace and relief into seeking ,hyperawareness, anxiety and unrest. This is a cycle that was created in childhood. I was not born with it, I remember what it felt like in my body before this cycle existed, it has been with me the majority of my life but it is not of me. Tonight I offer it up to the Scorpio Crone expression of the Divine.

I love following the moon cycles and the astrological and feminine archetypes that she holds, to me they are all many faces of the One Divine Source, reminders of all of the intricate ways that I can call upon the Creator to purify, sanctify and light up my life. I fall at the feet of the Scorpio Crone in reverence and awe tonight.

I felt the cycle gearing up within me when my husband walked through the door tonight, that cycle of dis-ease creeping up my skin, crawling into my belly and making a nest to grow. My husband has a task that he has been in the very long process of completing, something that affects us both, and I want it done yesterday and I am not comfortable with my inability to do it for him. This part of me is the very large Capricorn influence that I have, my Venus (feminine self) my life task as well as the ruler of my home and family house (the 4th house) is all ruled by Capricorn, the manager. I felt that energy climbing into my joyful womb, a space that had been revelling in our new home, the beauty of my daughter’s childhood, a sacred and moving citizenship ceremony that my husband received yesterday, (the culmination of a six and a half year journey for us), the comfort of having my mother in law with us and all that she has done to ease the burdens of our day to day life, my womb space had been bright with this happy and settled energy and still I could feel myself preparing for the turn of the wheel, for the next sense of unease and anxiety to roll on in and with my husband’s arrival home the cycle found it’s food to feed the unease that had been starved while I had been revelling in joy.

My relief is that what I expect is much less dreadful than I once did and the joy that I anticipate is much happier and larger than I once ever believed possible. In fact the unease that I was preparing for felt so small that I had hope that I might be ready to fully unwind this cycle and release it into the ethers. With my cycle being opposite of the moon and this being my energetic moontime I will give myself two weeks to fully unwind, I will finish this release on the full moon with my moonblood. I encourage anyone else that cycles opposite of the moon to pay attention to what you shed tonight, and to continue to shed right into the next moontime that you receive, allow the flow of your blood to purify the last of tonights release.

For the rest of the evening I am setting my focused intention on releasing all that is not in alignment with peace. In my prayers this past month I have been instructed to “just love”, what a simple and obvious message, yet when I apply it to my husband it is a lifetimes’ worth of work, the culmination of the true commitment that I made in becoming his wife. Offering love and leaving his journey to him and his Creator and going within, to my source of grace for the fulfillment of my needs is the true intention that I had when I married my Beloved, tonight I recommit to that pledge.

In the face of the death and destruction that the Scorpio Crone brings I am left bare and holding onto the one constant in my life, grace. Grace that has always shown up as exactly what I need the moment I needed it.

I say goodbye to anxiety and self will, I release you and welcome your destruction, there is none so powerful as a Scorpio expression of Source to take you from my life. And I welcome you grace, my constant companion, to reign supreme in my life, taking up all of the space that the anxiety once claimed. This is my proclamation and my intentional statement on the Scorpio Crone Moon, what will yours be?

I wish each and everyone of you a blessed Scorpio Crone Moon, may your release be deep and eternal.

image taken from: http://www.karmictools.com/KT-Admin/images/Cerridwen-CIR.JPG

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Astrological Goddesses, Gemini

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Astrological Goddesses, Gemini