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Sweetness and Light, the depths of Joy at Beltane

Beltane is Samhain’s opposite festival, where Samhain opens up the veils to allow the dead to rise and the darkness to descend, Beltane opens up the veils and allows the fey to rise and the light to ascend.

Beltane seems to be the one festival out of the eight on the wheel of the year that I easily miss or discount, at the beginning of May I am either processing the spring anxiety that can come and grab me, or I am just out and enjoying the changing weather and not truly aware of the shifting of the wheel.

The depth involved in Beltane has often alluded me just as the Taurean mysteries often do. Being a Scorpio Sun with a Taurus Moon, understanding both sides of these opposing energies is an important life lesson of mine. Since the dawning of my awareness of astrology and my personal astrological make-up, Scorpio has been the sign that I identified the easiest with, being my soul energy sign and such an intense one it is easy to understand why this would be, Taurus has easily been left as a secondary energy, one that I placed after Scorpio.

I get the depths in mystery, darkness, the underworld, my shadow, my unconscious, dreams and swirling oceans that never end which Scorpio and Samhian encompass. The depths of joy, merriment, romance, love, blossoming, celebration and light magic that Taurus and Beltane encompass have seemed a little too ‘nice’, too ‘sweet’ for such a heavy and intense person as I.

However, as my Goddess path unfolded before me I began to weary of having struggles and challenges be my catalyst for growth and transformation, I began to wonder if joy couldn’t be a touchstone for spiritual growth, I wanted joy to be my new touchstone for growth, I wanted to be so joyful that I was compelled to open even wider, to raise up in vibration even higher, if challenges could be a touchstone for spiritual growth, surely blessings actualized could be as well, couldn’t they?

That idea was my first inkling of what kinds of depths this Beltane day could offer me. The closest I have come to experiencing what I believe the essence of this day holds for us all is when I fell in love with my husband. I always expected falling in love to be a passionate, all encompassing, drink each other’s blood kind of obsessive merging for me. While we never drank each other’s blood, there definitely was that passion and obsession that I had imagined I would experience when I fell in love, but there was also sweetness, lightness, innocence and playfulness, aspects of myself that I hadn’t known since I was too young to remember clearly. Not only could I barely remember those aspects of myself, they were aspects that I had shut down at an early age, aspects that had made me feel vulnerable and unsafe in what was a cruel reality that I first arrived in. When I sat down on my first date with my husband, he and I had a moment where our eyes locked and no words came, we just held each other’s gaze and I felt the air element as my heart chakra burst open wide, in that moment I realized that I had never felt someone open my heart before, all of my previous romantic encounters had been of the second chakra variety. With my heart opening came an instant return to innocence and my husband and I enjoyed a good three years of the ‘honeymoon’ phase, sweetness and light filled our lives and sweetness and light is what I believe Beltane calls up and brings back to Earth each time the Wheel of the Year returns to the first of May.

I have felt far from sweetness and light as of yet, in fact I have felt very dark and heavy, dark and heavy in the way that I did before entering my conscious path. It did not feel like my natural state anymore, yet I could not find my way above water. After a year long pregnancy (one miscarriage followed by another pregnancy) fraught with complications, a traumatic birth, a newborn in the NICU for a week and then what felt like a crushing case of Postpartum Anxiety and a potentially colicky newborn all of the lights seemed to be going out for me. Like the Swamp of Sorrows from the Neverending Story I began to really sink into dread, remorse and hopelessness. I got lost in the past, how joyful I once was, how in love I once was, how free I once was, how much fun my first born and I once had, and down I went.

Finally I got serious about getting out of the swamp. I took the practical steps needed, visited a homeopath, reached out to my women and shared where I was at, called on my spiritual guides, told the doctor, started taking my vitamins and probiotics, started eating very healthy. I also did everything I could to support my emotional, mental and spiritual health. I prayed, meditated, did breath transmutation work, and became diligent about being in the now. I began to feel some relief and then this past week I started to pray that the Holy Spirit would enter my hormones and started to notice a huge shift, these were all hopeful steps in the right direction for me.

Suddenly this morning I woke up, the first one awake in the house, my baby was asleep beside me, my husband and three year old were cuddling asleep in the other room and I scanned my body to find that not only was there no anxiety or dread, there was energy and joy. I breathed it in, afraid to even admit it to myself at first, energy and joy was the last of a tiny list of intentions that I had written for myself during a surrender exercise I had read in the book Letting Go, the Pathway to Surrender, and here I was on Beltane morning waking up with energy and joy.

As I enjoyed a rain day with my husband home from work, snuggled my sleeping newborn throughout the day, took a nature walk and marvelled at the lushness that is life at this time of year with my three year old and celebrated the birth of my ever warm and loving Beltane birthday Mother I knew in a way I have never known before that there is depth in joy, there is necessity in joy, there is wisdom in joy, as deep and profound as any darkness I have surrendered to in my life.

I spent years as a young woman negating the light aspects of life, viewing it as frivolous and lacking in true meaning or purpose, I was scared of the light, unbeknownst to me I wasn’t strong enough to be open and vulnerable in the sweetness and light of life.

Thanks to the Creator for leading me to this path, the many years I have followed the Wheel of the Year has opened me up to the vibrational changes that happen as the wheel turns and Beltane caught me right at the perfect moment, when I was open and raw and desperate for sweetness and light to re-enter my experience.

Today is a new beginning for me, I am celebrating all of the life that has bloomed in my life, my house overflows with young, budding, innocence, two beautiful Maidens at home. New love is flourishing as my husband and I reconnect to our dreams and share our mutual dreams of the future with each other.

Today, on Beltane, I am reminded that an intention of joy serves not only me, but the entire world, I see that on the smiles that are reflected back to me when my three year old sees me light up rather than tense up, I see it in the relaxed muscles of my husband’s face as my daughter and I shout “thank you Mother Nature” out the window, thanking her for sending rain so that we can spend the day with him, rather than nag at him about the money we aren’t making that day. I feel it in the ease with which my newborn curls up in my arms and sleeps for hours on end as she goes through her growth spurt.

Beltane may be the most personally profound of days for me on the Wheel of the Year now, sweetness and light, energy and joy, my newest life intentions, intentions that I plan to see reflected back to me in a sweet and light new world as we continue to evolve as a community of souls. Beltane may just be exactly what our world needs now, it’s definitely what my world needed today.

To each and every one of you,

Merriest of Beltane’s Ever!

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
artist: Josephine Wall

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Seasonal Mysteries, Easter Messages

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Divine Expressions, Joy

March : Moonstone

My flow with Moonstone this month has been magical and thought provoking.

On one hand my regular cycles of habitual patterns and behaviours are still in a slow progress, yet on the other hand the flow of the Goddess is taking me over. Up until now my walk with Goddess has been one of really concentrating on connecting to Her and communing and seeking Her will, since working with Moonstone She feels stronger than my desire to connect, like She is enveloping me.

That is the magical part, things feel similar to when I first began my path, when spiritual truth’s expression in my life was new, when everything felt fresh and inspiring. I have often felt as the years went on like the fish in the fish bowl that can’t identify the water it is in because it is all that it knows. My life has been a dream come true compared to what it was before I first dedicated my life to the Spiral Path, as the water became comfortable I have become accustomed to what it feels like to walk with Spirit and I’ve been longing for a deepening, a stronger sense of Her presence beside me and with me, even if that sense is more of a God sense than a Goddess one or a mystical Creator sense, I don’t care how it appears, only that I feel It with me as I once did. And I am this month as I hold Moonstone close.

A very cool unfoldment for me has been observing how flowing and surrendering to my feminine essence and my emotional life has been creating outward changes. As anyone who knows me or has followed my writings for a while will attest to the fact that I am not a student of manifestation, I don’t practice it and I don’t focus on it. My path is the one of Grace, however, I adore Abraham Hicks and have found that the overall quality of my life does shift if I focus on the vibration that I am emitting.

As I have been overtaken by the watery Goddess essence of the Divine Mother coming through Moonstone, I have been observing how my relationship with my husband is deepening in intimacy, my joy with my daughter has been heightening (which is saying something because she is a constant source of joy in my life), my energy is more abundant (which is in large part to the raw garlic and prenatal I am taking….but that is an outer expression of my inner shift I am sure). My life is improving as I stop the control and sink into surrender and with Moonstone I am eased into surrender without much effort.

The remainder of this month I am doubling down on surrender and all things Goddess, today I pulled the Inner Goddess Card with Financial Flow, imagine that, surrendering more into my feminine essence and magnetizing more flow of finances to me, how amazing would that be?

For now, I am going to jump into the stream of today, aim to stay present in the moment and to follow the tide of the Goddesses stream, where She goes I go.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly

image taken from: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc9bioSzXn1qijwvdo1_400.jpg

March : Moonstone

“One of the most potent representations of feminine energy in the earth, Moonstone teaches the past of the Goddess through the emotional body. She soothes and heals the emotions by bringing them under the soul’s control.” Justin Moikeha Asar, Liquid Crystal Oracle

This idea of controlling the emotions has been presenting itself to me for the past week, when synchronicity appears in my life I take note.

I was surprised that this concept was coming to me and that it felt gentle, inspiring and, like the author states, soothing.

I grew up with a totalitarian, authoritative, first level masculine presence in my life. As a watery, extremely sensitive Scorpio I emoted very large from the beginning of life, at the first tear shed, the first rage of protestation, the first shriek of horror I was met with a stern and demeaning instruction, “control your emotions!” This was often followed by the menacing, “if you’re gonna cry I will give you something to cry about.”

Scorpio’s are known to be secretive, quiet and mysterious about their deep emotions, this quiet nature surrounding their emotional bodies is due to being wounded in childhood when an unsuspecting person invalidates or shames them over the depth of their sensitive emotions. In my case it was purposeful and often that I was shamed and demeaned for my emotions, I entered into adolescents a closed up and depressed girl wishing I had been born a boy that would grow into a powerful and great man one day.

In my 20’s I began my spiritual path, and in my mid 20’s the Goddess found me, She liberated my emotions and I learnt how to express them as I never had before. I found the power in my womanhood and I balked at any suggestion that any emotion I experienced was wrong or should be changed in any way, until a week ago the suggestion that I control my emotions would have illicit a wounded inner child reaction, one of hurt rage.

Something is shifting, and I attribute it to Moonstone. Since I’ve been carrying her, and gazing into her silvery, shimmering lines I have been feeling soothed, embraced, both held by and a part of the Mother Goddess.

Last month when we focused on Morganite, I continued to type in Moldavite instead and would have to go back and edit it to Morganite. Yesterday while we were visiting with friends the girls wanted to look up Morganite in their mother’s crystal bible. We couldn’t find Morganite, but we did flip to Moldavite, a stone that their mother informed me was her eldest daughter’s favourite crystal. She told me that she had read that Moldavite was to be avoided by children and that only people who had been trained with it were supposed to use it, one of the main reasons being that Moldavite amplifies the emotional field of the wearer.

I began to drift as I pondered this trait, I started to realize the power in being able to control one’s emotions, not to demean them or suppress them, but to actually control their direction and their flow and their expression. I thought about Abraham Hicks and how many suggestions they have to get into the vortex, a vortex that is entered by finding the next good feeling thought or action and it dawned on me, that if one could choose the emotional wave they wanted to surf and create that wave, and then had a stone like Moldavite to amplify the chosen wave, what a potential for creating joy and harmony in one’s life there would be.

That is the direction I am flowing with Moonstone for the next while, shifting my vibration when it goes out of the vortex, finding a way to soothe myself back into a state of joy, contentment, hope, whatever the next emotion on the vibrational rung is, and as I learn to do this I will strive to one day be adept enough with my emotional field to then be able to work with a powerful amplifier like Moldavite…who knows, maybe she will jump out for us to work with one of these months?

Until then, if you will, let’s work with the Divine Mother and focus on allowing the soul to control and steer the watery ocean of our emotions and see just how much joy and love we can experience in this next month.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly

image taken from: https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xtf1/t51.2885-15/s640x640/sh0.08/e35/12317451_1013168972037872_470341410_n.jpg

This Week on Priestess of Grace, Divine Expressions: Abundance

Today on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Moon Mysteries, Taurus Crone Moon

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Joy

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Joy

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Joy