I’m happy to read that in years past at the Aquarian Mother Moon I was as tired as I have been of late. This year I know a big contributor to my tiredness is processing “die off” as my gut heals, I’ve been on a big gut healing kick these past few months, and besides the die off phases (I’ve just added a prebiotic drink to my regimen,) I have been feeling fantastic. Upon reflection I would describe my current state for the most part these past few months as feeling soft, at ease and chill, such a difference from the keyed up state I have been wound up in for far too long.
Another aspect to this sleepiness I know, is the great energy portals opening up right now. During the month of July I became aware of how potent the energy in the air was feeling, lower vibrations were shifting easier than ever and remaining in a state of bliss was becoming a real possibility, how much of this corresponded to my gut healing (seriously I’m amazed, for someone that puts so little focus on the body as a vehicle to joy I’m wondering if my Highest Self doesn’t live in my gut!) and how much had to do with planets aligning and mass evolution occurring. I purposefully didn’t research what was happening on a planetary level as I didn’t want to get into my head, I just wanted to be in it.
However, what’s occurring tonight and over the next few weeks, that information found me and I trust it was all in Divine timing. So, while I’m sleepy as my gut is charging up to a whole new level of health, my spirit is also charging up to a whole new level of awakening as I enter these energetic uploads. Here’s what we have on the agenda:
🌕 Tonight: Aquarian Mother Moon/Partial Lunar Eclipse
💥 Tomorrow: Lion’s Gate Portal
🌑 Aug 21: A Leo Crone Moon/Solar Eclpise
👆Now, there’s a lot more intricacies to what’s happening astrologically (ahem, 5 planets going retrograde!) at this time as well, to best understand the energies swirling around us I highly suggest starting with this video from Astrologer Coach Sonja Francis and then following her other writings as she is much more versed in the ins and outs of that astrological map on a microcosmic scope than I am: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmX_Hm2mhXg&feature=youtu.be
Powerful Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse in Aquarius, August 2017
Join Sonja as she shares about several upcoming astrological events: * Powerful Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse in 15 degrees of Aquarius (on Aug. 7th, 2017 at 2:11p…
In the meantime, that trinity of energy potency above is the big whammy of what’s going on, and for some of us, myself included, the physical vessel gets a bit sleepy as our consciousness expands to receive these energy downloads.
Tonight we have the Aquarian Mother Moon, as I’ve mentioned in many previous Mother Moon posts, the Mother Moon, aka the Full Moon, is a time when we are emotionally full and our Lunar energy is at it’s peak. The Mother Moon parallels the Mother phase of our lives, the time of life when we are called to tend to our children, our actual babies and our physical, artistic, animal and career children, it is the phase of life when we are called to be nurturers and we must strike a balance between filling ourselves up so that we can give more of ourselves. Every month there are different aspects of self that the Moon reflects down upon us to balance. This month we are balancing the Aquarian/Leo polarities, the aspect of serving humanity and serving our human.
One of the great ways that this energy is presenting itself to me right now is in looking at my parenting on a very personal scale. When I birthed my first daughter I was instantly rocketed into a new dimension of love, one I had never known existed. From a very primal place I began to give of my all to her, as she grew and our family expanded to welcome in another little Maiden I had a hard time adjusting to sharing that devotion with two children. For the first few weeks, I did what I did with my eldest, Gracious, and breastfed constantly and kept baby Estrella skin to skin, but my magic love bubble wasn’t there, I was in knots. I longed to be giving my all to Gracious and then when Daddy took Estrella and I was with Gracious I was torn with a need to be with my newborn, it was hellish for me those first weeks, I had heard everybody tell me that when a second child comes your love just doubles, and while I loved both of my daughters, I felt completely torn in half. Once my husband was back at work and it was the three of us getting into our groove the love bubble came. Watching Gracious and Estrella form a sisterly bond, and having long hours of just the three of us gave me that sense of fulfillment once again, both of my girls were getting my all, and as an intense Scorpio that’s a lot of all. Now that I have become comfortable in our groove I have some truths coming to the surface to be examined.
The first is that I have been having a lot of readings, articles and discussions coming my way about being in one’s passion and making room for one’s calling to be actualized in their life experience. I was getting quite comfortable in the knowledge that I got to slow down on pursuing outside interests and focus on my family as I had only had a second baby almost five months ago now, and while that is true, for whatever reason I am ready to be giving more to my calling outside of motherhood without letting up on my mothering. There’s been some resistance to that, I have had a tendency to get quite ambitious and I don’t like the feeling of pushing against the flow with an intended goal in mind. So, I have been breathing into that resistance, coming back to the moment and getting honest with myself. When pockets of time open up how am I spending them? I don’t always need a good book or show to recharge my battery when the girls go out with my husband, a lot of days I am good to write, plan out a gathering or offer up a reading or two.
Beyond my resistance that truth has highlighted what the Aquarian aspect of this Mother Moon is revealing to me, and that is that I am not to give only to my children in a mothering way I am to continue being a mother to the world at large. From the moment I was a tiny Maiden I have been drawn to those younger than me, those struggling, in need or seeking, if there was a way that I could nurture or serve I was there. When I became pregnant with Gracious learning to give less and fill myself was a very hard and sad transition for me, after I had her I regretted when I had to say no, yet I felt in my bones how very much my family needed me to put them first. That was the Leo half of the lesson that I had to learn, and I have learnt it, now for the Aquarian. While my energy goes first to my family, what is left over goes to my community and to humanity, if I need to refuel, yes of course I stop and tend to that need, but I must be honest with myself and when I am capable of giving, of adding to the upliftment of our species, in whatever way I am called I must answer that call. That’s what the Aquarian Mother Moon is reminding me of tonight.
My personal moon is in Taurus and I can get into comfort ruts, ruts where I just want cozy blankets, yummy food and fantastic stories to escape into, and there is time for that when I need to refuel, but as my human vessel continues to strengthen and my spirit continues to awaken, the time that I need to refuel is becoming less and less. I must be honest with myself and when I can give from a genuinely full place, give, and I must find the balance between giving my girls my all because I was assigned the role of mother in their lives and not favouring them as my egotistical preference for service, it is easy to serve them because I love them so damn much, but sometimes I will be called to send them out with Daddy and give elsewhere.
I am also being reminded that I will not be able to accomplish any of this : discerning when to focus solely on family, when to fill myself and when to branch out in an active service role to humanity, without being present to the will of my Creator, I must go within and follow Her inner guidance as to how I am to serve and how I am to show up on a moment to moment basis. For today that looked like skipping a family outing with my beloved Aquarian mother-in-law who is visiting and told me in a very Aquarian altruistic manner to take advantage of her being down to get done what I need to, husband and Gracious to stay home to nap with Estrella and then to sneak out of that nap once I was rested to write this. In two weeks it looks like gathering the women of our community for the Crone Moon Solar Eclipse.
Estrella has just awoken so I will begin to sum up after touching on the energies that are on their way. The Lion’s Gate Portal that I would love to write on tomorrow but most likely won’t be able to, is a powerful 888 gateway that ushers in the potency of the number 8 which represents infinity. Higher Beings that serve this realm enter via that gateway and teach those of us that are open to receive their teachings, this gateway is guided by the Leo Lion energy and strengthens our solar plexus and inner will. This is a fiery gateway that I will be entering with tonight’s intentions fresh on my soul. In two weeks this energy will be followed by a Leo Crone Moon, the moon of releasing which is paired with a Solar Eclipse, a moment in time to face the ego’s shadow, Leo rules the ego and this will be a powerfully dark and strong moment in time to get very clear about an aspect of ego self that has held us back.
The lunar eclipse that is accompanying tonight’s moon is a time to pause when the Lunar light is her strongest and to look into the shadow realm of our emotional world. Aquarius’ shadow is being too detached from their emotions, tonight we will receive an opportunity to look at an aspect of our emotional world that we have used denial or aloofness or detachment in it’s lower vibration, to avoid. To be honest I don’t know what it is that I will find, right now it feels as though it will be linked to favouritism, to needing to become willing to commit to loving my daughters and husband as deeply as I do while committing to loving all of humanity that deeply and not reserving my heart for a few but giving it to the all.
That’s the bridge that I am walking right now, the middle road of love for self (Leo), love for humanity (Aquarius) and love for those that are in my personal circle, tribe (Leo), and love for the beings beyond this 3D Matrix (Aquarius) as I find the middle ground here I am sure that I will find my brightest space to shine my personal light of joy into the world and beyond, into the grand ethers.
How will you work with tonight’s Mother Moon and the lunar eclipse, how will the Aquarian aspects of tonight’s moon help you to tear down the social constructs that have helped you to define yourself into a box? I have been mired in identifying as a mother to Gracious and Estrella and lost focus of my role as a mother to the world, I’m ready to tear that construct down with the light of the Full Moon and I’m ready to peer behind the veil of the shadow cast upon my naked heart to see what it is that I am ready to face and step into, perhaps I will meet your brave souls behind the veil tonight in meditation and journeying, until then…..
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from: astrobutterfly.com
I wasn’t going to write about today’s Mother Moon (it’s in Aquarius) as I wasn’t feeling inspired to write and I am committed to not ‘doing’ creative things unless I am moved to. Much too often my ego gets in and makes me create so that I can feel as though my existence on Gaia is justified.
I remember once when the Priestess that trained me asked, “Candise, is enjoying life enough of a purpose for you?” I was horrified, of course it wasn’t!!! Shortly after I had a hypnotherapy session in which I visited my past lives at the end of the session my soul told me my life purpose, the message for this lifetime that came through was that my soul was here to learn how to enjoy life, not to focus on big outlandish acts but to just be in life and enjoy it. I shuddered, how little and insignificant I have felt for so very long when I’m not attached to a grand dream of creating a big splash in the world.
It’s interesting, but not surprising, that these lessons would come to mind today with the Aquarian moon having just filled our sky. Aquarius is the energy of change, evolution, revolution and rebellion. These are aspects that my Maiden self relates to, and while that Maiden still lives within me and contributes much to my life, it is the Mother aspect of my life that is ruling right now.
These past few weeks have been mundane, I’ve been exhausted, so, so, so hot and spending long unending days with a toddler that is full of energy, I have had little room to do much more than mother, clean, rest, repeat. Tonight when my husband came home I told him, I needed some time to myself, that time paired with a tea boosted me into inspiration.
The full phase of the moon is the Mother phase, on a microcosmic level I can bring these Aquarian energies into my mothering, I can reflect on how authentic my mothering is, on where I get my ideal’s for raising my daughter and on how to steer us out of the social construct that sexualizes and dehumanizes females before puberty even begins.
The largest aspect of this Mother Moon that I’m feeling tonight is the way that it is mothering me towards freedom and creativity. Aquarians crave freedom as fish out of water crave water and by nature are creative simply by being their authentic selves. I have been reflecting on being an act of creativity just by living and in this reflection I have been thinking about an Aquarian that has inspired me for over half of my life.
If you are Canadian you know that a Canadian hero of ours is facing the final days of his Earthwalk with us. This hero, of course the ever prolific and poetic Mr. Gord Downie is who I’m referring to, is an Aquarius.
Gord Downie is the lead singer of the band The Tragically Hip, I’m not a music writer so I won’t attempt to give you an overview of his work, I will say that his band was an integral part of my Maiden years and my Mother years. His words, his zeal, his eccentric presence on stage, they shaped who I grew into as a woman. I watched him create, was uplifted by his lyrics and my three best friends and I bonded in the melodic ethers of the work that he so generously gave us.
When I was a teenager his music meant freedom, it was a big “fuck you” to the establishment, it meant big open skies and vast mysterious roads ahead. As I aged and became a Mother, moved back to a small town and began to grow a family his music meant roots, community and a true connection to the soil that I live on. His Aquarian self created a community out of Canada and he stayed true to his small town roots this inspires me today.
Many of his poignant lyrics have been haunting me as our country prepares for their final concert this Saturday. “I’ve gotta go, it’s been a pleasure doing business with you.” “Let’s just see what tomorrow brings.” And tonight, it’s been “No dress rehearsal, this is our life.”
This is it, this is my life, how am I living it? That man has maybe no more summers left in this lifetime and he’s sharing it with his country, touring and giving us his soul on stage, it’s an experience I will forever be blessed to have been a witness to.
In the past, if I had had the past few weeks that I have had, sweating, tired, tending a child, cleaning a house and cooking meals with no sight of my grand dream in front of me I would have fallen into a depression. I would have heard that lyric, “No dress rehearsal, this is our life,” and I would have become depressed, I would have felt that my life was mundane, dull and worthless, that I was going through the motions and missing the spark, the ‘it’ factor that the greats experience, I would have felt like my life was worthless.
That is not how I feel tonight. I feel inspired. That line isn’t about my life, it’s about our life, our life as a collective is the focus of the Aquarian Moon. Our life is being lived in this moment, in the mundane, in the day to day tasks, in the heat waves, in the long hazy days of summer. These days will never return again. The spectacular times, the moments when I am on stage, leading a circle, writing my book, dreaming up businesses, I will look back on those times with fondness one day. Those are my dreaming and expanding moments. What I will look back upon with even more fondness will be the memories of my daughter sitting with her feet in the cold water filled sink as I cooked dinner, the anticipation that I feel waiting for my beloved to walk through the door after a long day of manual labour, the hopes of finding our first home and wondering if we can afford it, the unknown of a baby that will one day be as familiar as another limb is to me, as my daughter is now.
Our life is lived in these simple moments, I know everyone else in the world seems to get this, but that has been such a huge piece for me to actually get. I spent my teenage years in pits of angst, just miserable. I dreamt of getting out of this city, of being rich and famous, of being someone and proving my worth to everyone that had wronged me. I know that was my experience because I have the journals to prove it. But when I think back on those years today, I don’t feel the memory of discontent or a need to leave. I feel such warmth and love for what I had. I remember afternoons on the porch with my three soul sisters, I remember long evenings of us laughing and playing, I remember quiet skies and open fields, and when I remember these years I remember that I was doing nothing more than existing and being in the moment. I created because it felt good to create and life felt like it would stretch out forever. I trusted that there was an abundance of time and an abundance of dreams to be fulfilled.
Tonight, I breathe into time, I remember the vast Aquarian truths that elevate us spiritually, that time is an illusion, that we continue round and round the ferris wheel of existence trying on new identities and new experiences and I know tonight that the most important thing for me to do, is to simply live my day as it is, to expand, to stretch towards the highest vibrational wave that I can find and then to ride that wave and to soak up every moment of this turning wheel of life. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is our life and we get live it fully by soaking each and every moment up as the sweet, ephemeral elixir that it is.
Goodnight, be blessed.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from: http://aplaceforthings.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/Gord-Downie.jpg