Category Archives: Crone Moon Messages
As I sit here surrounded by my Cancer dreams come true I open my heart and allow the floods of sadness to wash over me. This is not a sadness caused by depression, an insidious illness that does rob one of their ability to enjoy the outer trappings of their life, nor is this sadness due to any conflict or struggle, no this sadness is a wave of Cancer energy carrying me away on the tides of nostalgia.
The moon is new, a Crone Moon as I have been taught to work with her and is in Cancer, the sign of the Divine Mother and all things maternal, nurturing and psychic. Today’s Crone Moon is met by a partial solar eclipse in Cancer, and this Crone moon is a super moon. The super moon amplifies the Cancer energy and the solar eclipse calls for us to pause and to go back in reflection upon our personal life experience and examine the shadows that exist within us in the area’s ruled by the astrological sign guiding the eclipse, in this instance, Cancer.
Astrologer Coach Sonja Francis teaches in this month’s new moon/solar eclipse video about the origin of this eclipse beginning 18 years ago in July, she encourages us to look at what it was that we were learning or processing in July of 2000 and as I allow the shadow over the sun to guide me into the shadow of my human and the psychic ability of the Cancer super moon to open my inner awareness to a much wider degree than normal much is coming to silvery lunar light for me today.
The themes of this energy for me is separation from mother and separation from family and soul tribes, I suspect the lesson on the other side of this shadow is that we are all connected eternally and ultimately that we are all one, what that truth will mean for me in my human life as I digest it deeper is yet to be seen, that will come when the new seed is planted in 48 hours and in the days to come as it grows through 2019 into fruition, for this energy is but a preview of what we will be working with in the upcoming eclipse year.
Cancer rules the ocean, the womb, the dreamland, today I am reflecting upon my dreams in relation to the Cancer themes that abound at this time. So many of my dreams from 18 years ago have been realized and come to fruition. The ones that I see in full bloom were my dreams to fall in love, to be and receive love from that Beloved, to get married, to have children, to be a mother, to be a writer, to be a spiritual speaker and to have my four soul sisters in my life at the depth that they were 18 years ago. My home is a sanctuary, my daughters are beautiful with magical names, my friends and community reflect my consciousness, my husband is a babe and I am more in love with him than ever. I have a deep unfolding spiritual life and I have spiritual quests and pursuits that I walk on a daily basis. I know God and She fulfills me. The garden of my life is fragrant and lovely and blessed.
I also am looking at area’s where those dreams didn’t come through in the sweetest way that I imagined, I wanted all four of us to live together, houses beside each other, all of us in love and married with homes full of bouncing children. I wanted us all to be lucratively rich and to live in exotic places, to be a foursome with our own families as the gift that we lived in, always returning to each other. Those dreams have showed up in ways unexpected, some of us are mothers, some happily so and some of us struggling, some of us are in love, some are not, some have been through divorce, some of us have had children in hospitals, the exotic lands visited have been visited separately and where each one of us will root down and create our forever home has been one of the most challenging choices to make individually let alone together. So there are still dreams around my family, tribe and home left to be dreamt as I walk through this eclipse.
To get specific I am journeying back to 2000 and finding the lessons that I am still working through 18 years later.
In July of 2000 I was enjoying my final summer at home, I was 1.5 months away from going away to college, leaving my mother who was unwell at the time, leaving my little brother whom I had taken a protective and mothering role over and leaving my four soul sisters, the girls in my life that made me feel home and that would forever be at the centre of my heart. I knew that the move and the separation was coming and I had no way to ground the feelings of the looming transition down. I would imagine what it would be like to go to bed in a house that didn’t contain my parents, what it would be like to spend mornings alone, what it would be like to not be there for my little brother and of deep concern how I was going to ensure that the four of us, my soul sisters and I, stayed together. For some odd reason adults seemed to love to tell us that while we imagined we would be best friends forever that after high school everything would change and we would grow apart. I was determined to not let that happen, at all costs I was going to keep us together, even though we were all about to move away to separate parts of the province I would be our connective link.
Fast forward 18 years later and in this July of 2018 I am enjoying the potentially last summer of having two girls at home full time, my intended-to-be-homeschooled almost 5 year old has decided that she wants to join the school system and we have agreed to support her in that heroine’s journey of her own. I again flounder for ways to ground the energy of this transition down as we go through busy days with her and I and a toddler and fall into exhausted sleeps only to find me awake in the middle of the night holding her big body, or snuggling her little sister and wondering where the time has gone, how is she not the size of her little sister? I know that very soon she will be closer to child than toddler and they way that I have known her will transform forever, each day she individuates from me a little bit more. This is a transition of her stepping away from me as mother in July of 2018 and in July of 2000 I was stepping away from my mother.
As the three of us took our morning walk today, I reflected on where I was 18 summers ago and I grew so homesick for my soul sisters. One of us lives in the same town as me now, the other two of us used to live in the same city together in our 20’s, now we are spread out. We are still all soul sister friends, at least I am their soul sister friend and they are mine, though the dynamics of the foursome has changed over the years, a change that I resisted greatly and attempted to control and manage, I still have my sisters in my life and hopes that we will once again be in close proximity physically and emotionally as a foursome. Memories of us partying and playing in that last summer together before college break my heart and I remember the sadness too that each one of us held at that time in our life, each one of us with our own childhood trauma had found one another and formed a bond of care taking for one another that we would remain etched on each other’s souls forever. I longed to have my sisters back with me in the flesh this morning, I longed for my daughters to be with me forever and in the longing I began to have flashes of the horrific stories that I have heard from mother’s at the border torn away from their children and suddenly it all comes together for me.
There is a belief within me and a belief intertwined in our society that we can be separated, that we can be separated from each other, from our good, from our health, from our life, from Heaven and ultimately from the presence and love of God Herself. Even those of us who consider themselves to be spiritual intellectuals who know that the ultimate truth is otherwise still live our lives in two worlds, the one where our Highest Selves hold truth and the one where our human selves reach up to pull those truths down into actualization.
That is the opportunity coming up for me today, I will wait the 48 hours suggested by Sonja Francis before setting any intentions, but for today I will begin to allow awareness to dawn on me. Astrology in itself is not a power, there is One Power, astrology is an energetic map pointing us Home, directing us inwards, back into whole-ness and back into awareness of that One Power. Today I will embrace the pain that I felt when I was separated from my mother at birth, by her illness, by going away to college, by moving across the country, by getting married, by becoming a mother. I will embrace the pain that I felt when I felt separated from my daughters after both births, one when I was wheeled away to recover, the other in a traumatic NICU stay when we were transported to separate rooms, when they were watched by someone other than me for the first time and when one of them prepared to leave to go to school. I will embrace the pain of my sisters moving away and growing into lives that aren’t intrinsically connected with mine on a day to day basis. I will embrace the pain that two of my great grandmothers never healed from when they were separated from their children (unto the seven generations) and I will embrace the pain of all of the mothers being ripped away from their offspring right now. I will embrace those feelings right now because they still exist in my shadowy regions and the Cancer solar eclipse which deals with matters involving mothers, family, offspring and Home is highlighting my shadows in this area. I will embrace them and I will allow them to flow from me, offering them to the Great Mother to be returned into love as the Crone Moon does her job of aiding me in releasing what is no longer serving me energetically. I will release and I will return my blood to the earth and then I will sit in meditation, awaiting the message of the Mother Goddess in her Cancer archetype, awaiting instruction about how and what seed to intend to fill the space that once held my fears of being separated.
Tonight I fall into the lap of the Mother and await Her wisdom as she strokes my hair and reminds me that She has always been with me, has always been me and IS everything, everyone and everywhere.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
The image is from a book with illustrations by Frédérique Bertin.
The book is titled L’amante de Shambu et le Fou de Shakti by Remi Boyer.
It’s been a while since I have made the choice (just crossed out the words ‘had a chance’, I’ve been in an *initiatory program led by Bliss Prema and one of the focuses that has been coming up for me is taking accountability for all of the circumstances of my life), to sit down and write a blog post about the Crone Moon. I’ve been upgrading older Priestess Page posts on the Mother and Crone Moons, and I’ve been busy holding online workshops, community workshops, leading Goddess Gatherings and now doing a weekly live show on my Priestess page, add onto that mothering my two best gals and wifing my Beloved who has landed his dream job and life is just one big Heavenly gift right now!
I began this blog right around the time that I had moved back to my small hometown, we came here with no jobs lined up, moved in with my parents and I intended to find a community, even if it was just one or two other women. This city is in the bible belt and I did not have very high memories of the people that inhabited it, of course, we attract where we are at and when I moved back here I was light years from the wounded, easily victimized Maiden that I had once been.
Over the past few years the Goddess Gatherings have gone from slowly budding to blossoming into a thriving group of women that continues to expand, the homeschooling community that was inactive when we moved back has (as grace would have it) suddenly revived itself just in time for my eldest to begin her homeschooling journey in September. My husband worked long and gruelling hours being paid a tight wage in the hot and humid southern summers and was laid off in our frigid winters, times have been lean and I have spent the past almost three years aiming to get away from spilling my Earthly fears onto him and back into trusting that grace will provide. After the birth of our second born, a trying pregnancy and traumatic birth, this Pisces soul that came through me began to open me up and guide me back into surrender. The past year has been transformative.
And here we are, my husband in his new job, my Priestess practice thriving, my children and I gleefully skipping through our days (for the most part) my soul deepening it’s learning opportunities and voila the final moon of the lunar year is nigh. This Pisces moon is about releasing into the Heavenly realms, about giving up all attachments to anything but Source and falling into the bliss that is the higher frequency realms, being in such a joyful state as of late this seems like an easy proposition. However, Pisces teaches us all that feelings aren’t facts, and while I’m feeling good, enlightenment is far from emanating from me as of yet.
With joy radiating throughout my being in this moment of time I take stock of the area’s in my life where attachment, addiction and unconscious habits/patterns exist and I ask myself, am I ready to give this up?
In conversation with my good friend Bliss I am reminded of the fact that I very much do still have an attachment to my children, it is the greatest one that I have, and while that may seem normal and right, from the highest perspective we are called to hold no person or thing above our relationship with the All. My aim is to release as much attachment to them as I can on this Crone Moon eve, this does NOT mean releasing love, or time, or parental responsibility, or hopes or dreams or joys with them, it means sifting through all of the love, joy and maternal bonding and finding the sticky areas that are holding them in bondage to me, to my will, to my need and to my fear of loss. It is giving them back to the Almighty and remembering that I am a trusted servant, standing in for the Mother of All for my two girls. I recalled the story of Abraham to Bliss over the phone the other day in a conversation, how God called Abraham to sacrifice his son to him on the mountain top, the beloved son Abraham had waited years for. Of course when Abraham woefully but willingly brought his son up to the mountain he was not required to do any such thing, the story is a metaphor for our willingness to release our most prized attachments on Earth into the care of the Mother and recognize ourselves as conduit’s of Her presence, as Kahil Gibran writes “ They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” I haven’t wanted to really touch that truth, and yet, here it is in my awareness and so I will begin my deep dive into the attachment that I have to my girls.
Addiction is a close acquaintance of mine, I don’t drink, use drugs or smoke. The ‘big’ ones make it easy for me to deny my addictions, in the face of some postpartum flub that wasn’t moving I was drawn to Intermittent Fasting and it became apparent to me quite quickly that this was going to be much more than a weight loss tool, it was an awakener. As I began to journey into a fasting lifestyle I came face to face with the ways that I turn to food or avoid it in an attempt to manage overwhelm, even more so than food has been my relationship to drinks. Creamy cocoa and fizzy soda stream being the main ones and because these beverages are sugar free or sweetened with honey and seeming like a healthy alternative, I was missing the addictive manner in which I drank them. The creamy sweet honey cocoa gave me an energy boost and comforted me during the slump of my day, the sweet fizzy soda stream added to a sense of surface enjoyment as I lose myself in the realm of Netflix. I am coming face to face with an awareness of addictive tendencies and beginning to discern moderation and how to first go within to my inner Source for comfort and enjoyment.
Finally comes my habits and patterns that have been unconscious until of late. The big one that is coming to the surface for review and transmutation is a barrier that I put up between myself and others. On my live feed last week I pulled the connection card from the 13 Moon Oracle deck, I channeled a message about all roads leading back to the one Source and how we are all interconnected, yet as my week has progressed I am aware of the ways that I close myself off rather than opening into connection with others. I have been stepping into vulnerable honesty and connecting at a more intimate level with others as an experiment. I won’t lie, it feels awful! So much so that I was going to stop, however, the other night when I sat down in my nightly mediation, an opening occurred that was so much more vast and loving than I have experienced in years, the love that I was able to tap into from the Divine was a blessing and I knew to my bones that that opening was only made available because of the opening that I have been creating with the people in my life, those that I am in close relationship with and those that I meet briefly. My pattern of closing down is one that I am releasing to this wise Pisces Crone Moon, the moon that brings us back Home, to the gates of paradise.
There it is folks, that is my journey for the end of this lunar cycle, I would love to hear about what it is that you will be releasing, your attachments, addictions and habits/patterns, how are you releasing your hold on this realm so as to merge fully into the Heavenly realms? And what do you envision for the upcoming new lunar year on the horizon? I envision a year of joy, lightness and sweetness, I envision life getting brighter and more fluid and conscious than ever before.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
* to sign up for Bliss Prema’s Initiator Program and De-Program, visit her page at:
The Aries Crone Moon is a contradictory one, this moon phase is ruled by the Crone archetype, the wise old Grandmother archetype and is under the influence of the baby of the zodiac, Aries, the youngest Maiden sign we have.
Aries is the initiator and the Crone is the destroyer. Tonight’s Crone Moon promises to both destroy and initiate.
I think of this moon as the beginning of a new 13 cycle moon cycle.
The moon rules the emotions and I have been looking to see how this intense and fearless spring energy of Aries is affecting my emotional realm. The Crone is comfortable to me, as a Scorpio the energy of destruction is familiar and the introverted darkness of a Crone moon feels safe and cozy, whereas the blazing bright burst of Aries fire that calls in the Springtime and begins our new moon cycle of the year feels jarring and gets me antsy and my emotions have been reflecting this.
This year I am encountering the Aries Crone Moon right in the midst of an intense 40 day lie in post partum period. I have my newest little Maiden at home, not yet three weeks old and my older 3.5 year old powerful Maiden bouncing all over the house as I rest (thank Goddess the husband is home for the next month) and slowly heal not only my physical wounds from a second c-section, but also my emotional and psychological wounds after a traumatizing first week of my daughter’s life. (An hour after birthing her she was rushed to the NICU and it was a week of darkness and terror as I prayed and hoped for her to be released and to come home with us as I waited to see if her tiny little body would strengthen and thrive.)
My daughter’s challenge was foretold to me through a teacher of mine that offered a Spirit Reading before her birth, the spirits called it a ‘hiccup’ and assured me that it would clear up in a week’s time and sure enough everything that was channeled came true.
Now, it’s happily ever after…..except, this is life and when the intense relief and joy began to level out and life as I know it began to take on what is becoming a new rhythm in the house, the rest of the emotional gamete of life post partum has begun to unfold.
The intensity of the Aries Sun, the brightness of longer days and now the emotional influence of Aries in the Crone moon is making my ‘peaceful’ 40 day lie in quite a bit more difficult than it was the first time. I want to be up and about, yet I want my daughter having the time to adjust to the world and to receive the same long lengths of skin to skin and nursing and quiet that my first did. The wonderful spike of estrogen that I received as my milk came in, paired with the long stretches of gassy burping and soothing in the middle of the night that my newborn requires, has made for a much more emotionally quick responding and harsher toned Mama than I like to be with my 3.5 year old, who has been immensely patient throughout my difficult pregnancy and the intense week of her sister’s first week of life and all in all the 40 day lie in has been more of a challenge to sit and be with what is than it was with my first daughter who I just kinda sunk into baby bliss with.
I observe my reactions and from an observatory perspective marvel that my ideals are falling so short of what is being expressed through me.
I feel this contradictory wise Crone energy and young Aries energy in my intentions. I am working out a late night/early morning spiritual routine to see me through the long stretches of newborn gassiness, a way to tap into something internal and powerful as I loose the amount of sleep I have become accustomed to, (my first and I slept so much!). This is one intention I have, and yet the emotional velocity of intense feelings surrounding the impatience I experience with the long spells at night, the snappiness I have in response to the yelling of my 3.5 year old during the day and the intense fears that come up surrounding my healing and potentially being hospitalized again (a bit of ptsd from the birth and a long medical challenge as a child), has what and how I’m feeling at opposing ends of what and how I am intending spiritually.
As these energies come to a head tonight I am working to honour what I feel, while slowing down the expression and taking time to contain and digest my emotions as they rise to the surface. I am also intending to utilize the fearless and ambitious nature of the Aries archetype to take a great leap into deepening my spiritual practices to see me through this fourth trimester and to raise me to the top of this new challenge victorious and brighter than ever.
I release the charge that the emotional realm has held over me and I turn my attention towards strengthening my spirit. I release my attachment to the old way and embrace the newness that the reborn Aries archetype welcomes in, opening to a new experience as a family, a mother and a woman of the great Allness as I learn how to give the soul of my newborn exactly what she needs, how she needs it while still showing up for my family and myself in the process.
For tonight, I dance between the wisdom of the Crone and the innocence of the Maiden.
How are these energies affecting you? What are your intentions for this Aries Crone Moon?
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
Tonight is the final Crone Moon, New Moon, of 2016.
The Crone Moon is our releasing Moon, she is our wise Moon and with her comes the opportunity to shed all that we no longer need emotionally.
I don’t need to tell you that this year has been intense, cosmically a lot has happened, from the departure of a huge number of our great souls to a great amount of shockingly upsetting and surprising decisions made politically throughout the world.
Thankfully, for me, I don’t get caught up in the stories of the world, it’s easy for me to identify them as a part of the matrix, the cosmic illusion, and I do believe we are in the era of the Kali Yuga. I see these upsets as a sign that we are going through swift and powerful transformations. Though I was deeply affected by the loss of some of our great artists I grieve not being able to hear their beauty in this realm created new and fresh again.
On a personal level, anyone that might be following this blog will remember that we lost my father-in-law to a surprise brain cancer diagnosis at the beginning of the year, he was diagnosed at the end of January and gone by the end of May, in between this devastating process we walked through a miscarriage. Right after his passing I became pregnant again, a huge blessing to be sure, but it was a lot to process as my marriage faced it’s first real struggle while my husband navigated the deep waters of grief like he never had before.
September felt things lightening for me, I wonder if that is so for others as well, certainly we continued to loose some greats and to have some shocking choices made after September *ahem Trump*, however, life began to lighten for me. A lot of people are looking forward to 2017 as being the lifting of this tough year, and I truly feel that it will be a lighter year for sure, I personally began to feel that lightening closer to the Autumn Equinox.
It is so fitting that we close this year with a Capricorn Crone Moon. Capricorn is the wise elder, the matriarch of the zodiac, her presence guiding the emotionally releasing energy of the Crone Moon promises all of us the opportunity to fully process and shed whatever remnants might remain of this past year.
As I mentioned above, I’m feeling pretty light and cleared, I walked through a lot during the past year. A big chunk of this year was about finding my own joy and claiming it. I hadn’t realized how dependent I was on my husband to create the joy, the playfulness, fun and positivity in our life until he no longer could.
I acted out at first, trying to get more and more dark, broody, disapproving, anything to awaken that perpetual bright light of optimism in him to come and lift me up, it had the opposite affect however and he drew further away from me. Eventually I had to fake the joy so that our daughter wasn’t living in a heavy home, as I began to fake it I began to crave it and I had to stop going to him to make it so for me.
As I let him be, and for a while came to terms with the fact that we may end up in a pretend marriage (I can be quite fatalistic) and focused on finding my joy for myself to enjoy, life became happier. I made new friendships, began to celebrate a new pregnancy, revelled in the sweetness that is my daughter, and attracted a spiritual community that is just springing up in our small town that had a place for me to serve from.
While I did this work on myself my husband processed his grief, did his own work and as the year is coming to an end him and I have found our way back to each other. Him with a lot less pressure on his shoulders to make me brighter than I am and me with a stronger sense of self and a deeply mature feeling of reverence and respect for the sanctity of marriage as the path we have chosen to walk.
Our anniversary was this past Winter Solstice, it was a time of deep reflection for me, I felt as though we had passed through an archway of new, puppy love into one of deep committed love. I have been wild about my husband since I first met him, we have both been immature in our love, and this year has matured us. What I feel coming up to be finalized in it’s release tonight is all that the Maiden in me clung to in the illusion of romantic love as a saviour.
With the right man, the right group of girlfriends, and the right look all would be well in my life. My girlfriends would be my ever-steady, never wavering source of feminine emotional touchstones, and the man in my life would fill me with such a sense of love and passion that life would never be the same, I’d be on fire for life because of the people in it. I’ve known for a long time that people are fallible and that the eternal nature of themselves that brought me joy were merely extensions of the same Source within me, however, that truth has sunk down from the cerebral portion of my brain into the deeper regions of soul consciousness.
I release the people in my life from the responsibility of adding anything to me, joy, security, faith, worth, all of it. As I release the people in my life from the bondage of tending to my needy ego I am able to appreciate and love them in a new way, for who they are, not for what they do for me. In this way every day is like falling in love with the people in my life all over again, I see my husband, my friends, my parents, my daughter as unique individuals, with amazing paths and beautiful expressions of Divinity shining in my life, they no longer become cut out models of aspects of self that I desperately seek through them. What a freedom!
I feel as though this is an opportunity for all of us on a collective level. So much has happened, we said goodbye to beautiful souls, we had terrifying egos come into power, we had despicable acts against humanity and the environment occur, and yet, in the midst of all of this we were challenged to stay in our joy, to continue to raise our vibration for the good of the whole. There were some situations that our ego couldn’t surmount on it’s own and all that we were left with was the stark reality that some things outside of ourselves would never be under our sole control, but that, despite what happened in the world we were Sovereign beings that got to choose what happened within our consciousness.
Of course, the great paradox here, is that the more I stop trying to control the 3D illusion around me and the more I focus on my internal world, the more things start to seem to straighten out in the matrix, if all of us bring our focus towards our joy and raising our vibration what kind of change and shift might we see on a cosmic level in this next year? The possibilities are endless.
2016 was a year when the Goddess woke us up to the fact that it was time to grow up spiritually, and this meant to stop relying on outside sources to be our Source. The Capricorn Crone is here to take all of our old dependencies from us, to clear us and to leave us as open containers, ready to receive the full lunar and solar light of the Mother/Father Divine within our souls and spirits, readying us to be shining lights upon a new era as a new year dawns.
To all of you, thank you for walking with me this past year and a great many blessings for you into the next year and beyond.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
Another Crone Moon is looming, darkly hidden in our skies tonight. The Crone Moon, for anyone that may not remember or may be new to this blog, is what we in Feminine Mysticism call the New Moon.
Crone Moon’s are Moon’s for releasing and letting go, they represent the cycle of the month when women traditionally bled together, when we utilized red tents and weren’t influenced by artificial light and chemicals in the same way that we are today. While the fertile women bled, the Crone’s who no longer bled sat in the red tents and shared their wisdom, prophecy and ways of old with the bleeding women, filling them with the sustenance of deep feminine wisdom.
Our womb spaces are intrinsically linked to the Moon, they are ruled by the water element and are the sacred cauldron’s of women, they are what make us women the Grand Receivers. Thus, when the Moon is dark she pulls at the waters in our womb and whether we are still bleeding with the cycle of this Moon, we are energetically at our lowest and the more tapped in we are the easier it is to consciously release.
Over the years I have witnessed which Moons and seasons feel the most comfortable to me, predictably I have preferred the watery Moon’s and the watery times of year, the Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces seasons and Moons, followed closely by the earthy times of year and Moons. I have shared quite often about how uncomfortable the fiery times are for me, air I seem to navigate okay, but the fire element and I, we have been working to find a harmonious relationship for years.
I was pleasantly surprised to find myself at ease with today’s energy, and inspired by the Sagittarius Moon and Sun that is infusing us with her energetic imprints right now. I was due to have a Sagittarius baby and spent a month trying to find a ‘click’ with this sign, a sign that has been up there with one of my least favourite signs out there. I loved that baby and knew that ushering in a Sagittarius life would hold great lessons and blessings for me and my family, alas, that baby was not meant to be earth~bound and we said goodbye to that baby over Mother’s Day when I miscarried.
I have been thinking about that baby a lot lately as my due date for her/him comes closer and closer, a lot has changed in the past months since that loss, I have a new pregnancy blooming within my womb, and I have a fondness for the first time ever with Sagittarius that has dawned within me. I give some of that credit to the baby and imagine that some of that baby’s consciousness lingers to teach me.
The big turn around for me has been an ability to tap into the hope, optimism and zeal that Sagittarius possesses by nature. Three aspects that used to feel foreign to me now feel inspiring and I understand why Sagittarius is such a refreshing time, she comes during our darkest days and lights us up, it’s as if she isn’t even aware of the heavy, sleepy energy that has been pulling us deeper and deeper, she certainly has no fear.
My birthday was a few weeks ago, during that oh~so~comfy Scorpio time of year when I was born, normally I don’t want for much on my birthday. I know that my parents are likely to give me a generous amount of money as a gift and my husband will get me whatever I have been fancying that year, last year it was two butterfly pillows, the year before a particular crystal. Our lives flow financially, yet we are by no means even close to being considered well off by society’s standards, so, when an oracle set that I had been enchanted with years ago during my Priestess training came back into my awareness I begged my husband to find a way to get it for me for my birthday (it is quite pricey). Between the two of us I am the much more stingy one, and while I could have bought it for myself, I really wanted my husband to do that magic that only he can do where he shows up with the thing I’ve been aching for that financially didn’t seem possible (he did that when he proposed to me with my dream ring that I had used as a template for the style I liked, never imagining that he would be able to find a way to purchase it for me.)
This oracle had been a huge part of my Priestess training, though it wasn’t a part of the curriculum I was trained under, it was quietly and unobtrusively sitting in a corner at the temple where I did my training. My first weekend away at the temple, introvert that I am, I slinked away from my sisters and sat down in the corner where this oracle also sat, I pulled a card and opened the book, expecting a digestible explanation for the card that I had pulled and instead felt myself being sucked deep within the depths of my very being. Each word was a feast to my soul, the visceral experience that I had using this oracle was like nothing I had experienced before from using a divination tool. There was much more to the oracle than I ever got to learn, there were runes and cd’s and an entire book that took one through it’s own Priestess Process, I only dabbled with this powerful tool. For a while after my ordination I would see this oracle in a local bookstore, it always seemed out of reach financially for me, but I knew that the day would come where I would splurge, that’s what I thought, until the day came that the store no longer carried the oracle, and despite the ardor I felt towards the set I eventually forgot what it was called.
7 years later and my best friend began to email me about some online Goddess work that had been inspiring her of late, as I followed some of the links to the forums that she had been participating in I realized that the Priestess of this forum was trained under the lineage of the oracle that I had lost years ago. I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that my husband did his magic and for the past three weeks now I am one deeply revered owner of said oracle (find link to this oracle at the bottom of this post).
I have begun to study it from the beginning and was waiting patiently to get to the section that discussed the cards, that was the plan, until the cards began to call to me. They are deeper than cards, they are depth incarnate and they shift my consciousness simply by my pulling and studying bits and pieces of their meaning. I have felt fundamental portions of who I have identified myself with shifting as I have gotten deeper and deeper into this work, and this is what I am contemplating as I excitedly invite tonight’s Crone Moon energy into my life experience.
I like hope. I like optimism. I like zeal. Me! I am the last person in the world that I would have ever suspected would experience a positive connection to these qualities. I am observing as all new windows of opportunity open for me to experience aspects of self that I have never known before, I am able to envision a future that is a mystery and an adventure awaiting me. The older I got, the more predictable I was believing life to be, despite my desire for magic and awakening to continue to grow, something was calcifying within me as I aged and I began to roll my eyes a lot more at concepts that had once lit the younger version of me up.
With the influx of hopeful, truth seeking, believing energy of the Sagittarius Crone with me tonight, I give thanks for a deepening of my experience of life. On this eve there is a depth that is as deep as the darkest depths that I have enjoyed trudging through for years and yet warmer, lighter and happier than that which I have yet known. There is a freedom to realizing that I am still a student of myself, Sagittarius is the philosopher, the great seeker of truth, and I feel this energy infusing my desire to open and to expand my consciousness to greater widths than ever before, and I believe that is still possible.
I have been telling my husband this week, “I want this to be a fresh cycle,” the upcoming Winter season, “even if it looks similar to last Winter, I don’t want to assume it will be, I want this cycle to be fresh.” That is what I am intending for all of my life right now. The Sagittarius Crone is encouraging me to release rigid old beliefs, to soften the calcification of pragmatism that was solidifying my view of myself and what it was I thought that I was capable of and to let go of my identification with everything. As I let go of all that I identify myself with, I become the student again, out on a quest to find my truest nature, the eternal Sagittarian quest for the highest truth and the highest state of consciousness, that is what I am intending tonight.
Generally an extroverted sign, this sign being under the introverted, lunar energy of the Moon is turning it’s expanded vision from the outer realm back into the inner ones for all of us tonight. As we open up to the zeal, optimism and expansion of Sagittarius as the Crone Moon, what can we collectively release so that we may become as students ready and willing to open wider and to rise higher? What would it be like, if all of us as a community were able to release our identification with all concepts and ways of being that we had previously believed to be representations of us, and what would our wold look like if each one of us took that expanded vision of the Sagittarian Adventurer and turned it inward, focusing on an inner journey before focusing on the outer world and it’s illusory stories in front of us? What kind of a world can we envision tonight as we align with the powerful Sagittarius Crone Moon?
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
artist: Autumn Skye
link to oracle: http://www.13moonmysteryschool.org/13_moon_cards.html
Tonight’s Crone Moon is a rare one, it is the second time this month that the Crone Moon has visited us. This happens once every 32 months and this month is one of those moments in time when the Crone comes back to see us again before a whole new lunar cycle begins.
This Moon is being called the ‘Black Moon’ because it is the second Crone Moon, this struck me as odd as I always associated the Crone Moon with a black Moon, however, tonight’s Moon is hidden in shadow and makes it darker and more hidden than usual.
Black is a powerful colour in Feminine Mysticism, it is the colour of the feminine, the mystery and all that is hidden, our shadow and social taboo’s live within the dark mystery of the Goddess. All that the patriarchy attempted to assassinate went deep into the dark void of the wise Goddess.
Lilith is being associated with this Libra Black Moon, she is a perfect Goddess for this Moon as she has lived in the shadows of our memories for years now. The first wife of Adam, she was thrown out of the Garden of Eden when she refused to submit to him, the church vilified her as evil and she was forgotten as a powerful Goddess, until the Goddess began to rise in our consciousness once again. What makes Lilith such a wonderful archetype to connect to on this evening is not only her connection to the dark, the forbidden, the forgotten, but also to the strength of her Libra message, she would settle for nothing less than ‘conscious equal partnership’ the very medicine that Shamanic Astrologer Daniel Giamario teaches is the life path of the Libra Goddess Archetype.
Libra’s often get a bad rap of being so ethereal that they are perceived as weak or wishy washy, their desire for peace and harmony often overrides their call to speak up and to speak out. However, there are core issues that are embedded in the Libran soul that a Libra Goddess cannot ignore, injustice and inequality are two of those very issues. When Lilith was commanded to be a ‘helpmate’ of Adam’s and to submit herself to him, the injustice of this lack of equality was too much for her. Her Goddess energy rose as she refused to settle for anything less than the Libran ideal of conscious equal partnership, even if this meant being banished from paradise, for after all, as much as a Libra longs for the harmonious promised land, it must be an authentic paradise, one where all women and men are equal.
This leads me to my other focus for tonights’ Moon, the great Martin Luther King Jr once preached his dream that all ‘men’ would be equal. As a Priestess I truly endeavour to practice feminine mystic principles to my life, this includes feeling my feelings fully, allowing them to flow and then turning my attention upward in vibration, away from the illusion of discord and towards the One true Source energy. I feel called to do my most powerful work in mediation and prayer, I have not been called to be an activist in this lifetime, when I dig into the stories of injustice that occurs in this world I get lost in them and loose my vibrational footing. I know that if I can bring them within and raise them up in vibration I can be a contributor to the healing of our planet. That being said, there are issues that grab me harder than others, and as of late it has been the Black Lives Matter movement.
I feel simple in my complete lack of understanding when it comes to racism, it truly baffles me and seems so absurd that any person would be targeted because of the colour of their skin, it’s as absurd to me as hearing that green-eyed people were being targeted in our society, and yet here we are, with an entire race of people being brutally murdered and humiliated at every turn of the page. Each new story that pops up on my newsfeed leaves me more aghast than the last, I do not understand what is happening, nor how it is continuing to happen. The Libra energy of my rising sign boils at the injustice and the inhumanity and as I look at the term Black Moon and read so many powerful articles that take time to assure the reader that a black moon is a good thing, I am reminded about how the patriarchy has harmed not only the Goddess but all of us, and in particular the black community. The word black has been synonymous with evil, scary, cursed and ugly for years. We refer to turning towards the light to dissipate the dark, as if the dark, as if the black were something to be avoided or abandoned.
Those of us in Goddess spirituality know that the dark, the black is where the power lies, and somehow, in this crazy matrix of patriarchal domination that I don’t claim to fully comprehend, all things powerful, feminine, Goddess, black, other than the white male race that tried to overtake an entire world, was thrown into the fire to burn for all of eternity.
This ends now. The Black Crone is here, she is wise, she is knowing and she has been here forever. She will not stand for the inequality of women or people of any race and the calling that is coming through tonight is for the shedding of all of the wounds that has been inflicted on each one of us personally. Whether we have faced sexism, racism, profiling, agism, whatever category has left us out of the white boys club that has inflicted pain, suffering, shame and rage upon us we give back now. We give back our shame, we give back our doubt and we allow the Black Crone to strip us bare of all injustice that was conditioned upon us. We release it now.
After tonight we rise up in our power and in our Sovereignty and in doing so we DO NOT stay silent for one more second. Not one more black person murdered, not one more woman raped, not one more elder abandoned to the cold streets, not one more slight or round person sneered upon, not one more person from the LGBT community beaten. Not one more person that we ever witness being treated unjustly without us speaking up, this includes jokes, snide remarks, casual slander and any other minimizing behaviour that has been socially accepted up until now.
Lilith has returned and she is ready to create a new Eden, one where “all are welcomed to the table,” as Starhawk so eloquently dreamed up for us once upon a time. It will be our refusal to live within the unjust matrix that has hypnotized us that will usher in the dawn of a new Eden, “not by might nor by power but by My Spirit,” Zechariah 4:6. The presence of the Divine within each one of us, standing up in love, saying no in love and embracing each sister and brother in unity and peace as we walk arm in arm towards a new world is the Spirit that creates new worlds.
That is the vision that tonights’ Crone Moon is asking of me and it is the vision that I am asking of each one of you, please, let us walk towards the promised land of Sovereign peace together and let us ensure that not one of our sisters or brothers is left behind to burn in the ashes of an outdated, cruel system that is ready to fade away. We all are to walk the rainbow bridge back Home now, but we must do it in unity, harmony and peace.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from: https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7755/17390938522_8b0513d0d6_b.jpg
The moon is in her new phase tonight, she is under the astrological sign of Gemini, giving us a Gemini Crone Moon.
Gemini Crone’s are so much fun, they have the unbridled, spirit connection that is freed from a great majority of the earth-bound heaviness that mother aged women have and they have their perpetual maiden energy, their quick mind, hunt for fun and love of mischief all rolled up into one radical and zany package.
Gemini’s need to live in two worlds at once to truly feel calm, they are from the fairy realm and they move quicker than the speed of light.
Crone Moon’s are all about release, with the airy influence of fey Gemini here tonight, our release can be quick and encompass many different subjects.
For myself the idea of parallel realities is what is coming up to be investigated. For years now I have felt myself shift in and out of subtle reality shifts, similar to the movie Vanilla Sky, when Tom Cruise’s character begins to shout out “it’s a nightmare, I’m in a nightmare,” my tough days get shifted when I sense that I am in the wrong reality, the sensation is comparable to lucid dreaming. I then shift into the ‘good’ reality.
Since my move a year ago I have been integrating different energies. The place that I moved from was very light, airy, watery and full of ethereal beings. Where I now live is earthy, grounded and full of solid and practical folks. The spirit work that I do here feels as though it takes a longer to gain momentum, but it also creates lasting rivets in my reality. Shifting from the ‘bad’ reality takes more time for me here than it did there but it also creates strong and lasting change. I’m learning how to navigate more earthy energies and the stronger I get at it the freer I feel.
Last week I returned back West. It was a real moment of grace that resulted in a paid trip for my daughter and I, this trip occurred after walking through a miscarriage and the death of my father-in-law.
The first 48 hours that I walked along the lush streets that I called home for 10 years I felt completely ungrounded and lost in the ethers. As I prayed and did some root chakra kundalini yoga I began to land in my body and in the city.
As I walked I prayed, what did the strong emotions I was encountering mean?
What came to me was a visceral sense that the city had been the Mother Goddess to me, She had held me as I healed and that while I will continue to heal as new wounds are cut, my past is laid to rest, my trauma, my wounds have been healed. I am whole. As I contemplated the healing that the city had offered me I felt myself letting go of a year’s worth of stress since my move and I felt as though I was back to be rejuvenated, the following morning my friend texted me asking “how’s the healing going?” I hadn’t told anybody about my thoughts surrounding the city healing me, I stood frozen as I read the text, it took me a moment to realize he was asking about the miscarriage, I’m sure the universe was writing through him, because as I read the text it became apparent to me that I was also there to heal from my miscarriage.
That night the woman who had flown me announced that she would have to do this more often, suddenly, my decade long dream of being able to live in two worlds, west and east became a possibility and the thought of only having six days to spend in the city was alleviated, I would be back, I could just enjoy my time.
I spent the rest of my trip soaking up all of the energies that I missed, visiting the sacred book store, the crystal shops, the lush rainforest, drinking it all in. I felt a crystal calling to me and I was led to her, I began to fill her with the essence of the west coast to take home with me.
Before we decided to move I made a commitment to focus on what I loved about the west coast and about what I loved about moving away, I didn’t want to diminish the city by picking out its flaws in order to feel better about leaving. During this trip I focused on what I loved about the west, what I loved that I had left and what I loved that my family and the Creator have been creating in our new home.
Returning to the west I felt as though I had never left, it’s as if I am still living there, in another reality, while I’mm living here in this reality that I’m aware of. My crystal symbolizes a merging of both worlds, I have brought back the energies of the west that I love and I have that energy here with me in this energy. I have much work left to do here in our new home, learning how to dig into the earth energies and how to rise up as well.
As tonight’s Crone Gemini Moon looms high above and aids us all in shedding I am shedding the parts of me that aren’t truly me, the accumulated energies that I have allowed into my auric field, a preoccupation with finances, a tighter and more stern energy, these are energies that I have accumulated since my move. I am also releasing a sense of wandering and never truly settling down from my other reality, I am letting go of cool walls that keep other at a distance. I am shedding all that doesn’t serve me in both realities, I am calling on the Gemini Crone to work with the twin energies of contradiction within me and asking that she aid me in shedding both sides of the same coins that I am ready to let go of.
Too much focus on the material/denial of the material
Too much heaviness/ too much flightiness
Too much focus on the practical/ too much focus on the etheral
Too much dependance on others/ too much self-reliance
What a fantastic, quick moving and magical moon we have with us tonight. I invite all of you to work with the twin energies of Gemini tonight and the wisdom of the Crone moon, allowing her to cleanse you and to release you from both sides of the coin that seems to be hindering your walk at this time. As these coins are dropped and we are cleared of the energies that influence us but aren’t truly of us we open up room to plant seeds during the maiden moon, our next phase, seeds of intention to intend that nothing influence us besides the Divine within.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from : https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/58/07/b7/5807b7c6d41eb01239d16beb4775cee2.jpg
A Crone Moon, a Supermoon and a Solar Eclipse tonight, woah, big energies coming through.
I’ll start off by saying I am feeling much more like I do during Mother Moon’s, I feel loony, full, electric, wiry and my fuse is shorter than I would expect for a dreamy Pisces Crone Moon.
I’m attributing this energy to the eclipse and the Super aspect of the moon. We also have an enormous amount of planets in Pisces right now as well which amplifies our sensitivity and emotional energy.
When the Sun is eclipsed, the ego is shadowed and this gives a moment of pause to look behind the curtain of the stories that we have been running, the patterns and the ego structures that we have been unconsciously programmed to live out.
For me it is a loop of first chakra anxiety, a hugely manic amount of grinding energy that is fixated on maintaining financial security and stability. At the seat of my soul is the freedom to release, to flow, to surrender and to trust and yet I cover over this soul freedom by repeating old patterns that I know don’t serve me.
Grace has always kept me in good standing, we are happy, healthy and prosperous as a family, and yet my underactive root chakra is constantly seeking more security and assurance. This is the pattern that came up for me to work towards regaining harmony and balance with. In the past when I have worked with this issue I worked with the effects, tonight, the cause became apparent, and the cause is so much simpler than the many effects. A weak root chakra is the cause.
Pisces is the final sign in the zodiac, the mystic, the sign about to ascend into the mystical realms, this revelation that came to me about my root chakra was directly linked to my spiritual growth. Too much focus on the material realm cuts me off from the spiritual truths and energy that abound around me.
Crone moons are about releasing and being filled with wisdom, what I was needing to release was wound up fears and anxieties.
As I was posting an invitation to this month’s Goddess Gathering I was longing for someone else to guide, I desperately longed to be able to receive. Shortly after that desire was born I began to write about my hopes of finding more community in this small town that we now live in. Within the month I have found two new women and one of those women was holding a crystal bowl meditation for the chakra’s, I jumped on board immediately. My desire for community and to be guided was answered and I couldn’t be happier.
Tonight, my husband and I attended the meditation together, a real treat as we haven’t had a lot of date nights in the past 2.5 years. We lied down side by side and held hands throughout the crystal bowl meditation. My body and energy system responds to sound very quickly. By the time the third bowl was being rung I was journeying though the ethers, surrounded by a white mist and enveloped with angelic energy. It was exactly what the both of us needed.
As we lie side by side, hand in hand, I envisioned the Goddess and God energy of this realm coming together and creating the One Creator, I remembered that he and I are together first and foremost to honour the Goddess and God in one another. I held my moonstone in the other hand, this month’s crystal focus and felt her getting charged with me. At the end of the night I purchased moonstone infused bath salts and walked out into the open air, rejuvenated and much lighter than when I had walked in.
During the meditation my focused intention was on my root chakra. As the root chakra bowl was being rung I received guidance to plant the energy that was being conjured within me into our land, into the earth of this town that we are living in. There is potential here, potential for higher vibrations, for new understanding and for healing with this earth to occur.
That is my focus for this upcoming month. To strengthen my root chakra and to nourish the earth with the spiritual energy that I conjure up. How beautifully paradoxic that when the moon and the sun are in the most spiritual of signs it is my connection to my body and my earth walk that are calling for the most attention. That is the true path of the Priestess, to honour her spirit and her body in equal measure.
As the influx of Pisces dreamy energy and the high vibration of the crystal bowls bathed me I felt my root chakra and the roots of the earth soak up the energy. Tonight I will continue to let go of my attachments and to open up to a new way, a higher way of being in my body and on this earth. As I fill with light and new energy I will pour into the earth all that I am blessed to receive from on high, energy pouring like watery Pisces wisdom from the Heavens above into the Mother below.
How will you allow this Pisces Crone Moon to move you?
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
It is not lost on me that my spirits have lifted significantly in the past month.
The Capricorn Crone Moon was a rough time for me, depression was setting in and life felt heavy, full of unwanted and unintended situations, it was so intense that I almost couldn’t breathe. To compound this was the fact that I longed to control and shift my experience with the full understanding that the only way my reality shifts is to step out of it and back into the spirit realm. Yet all I wanted to do was to draw a map for the people and situations in my life that were unfolding opposed to my heart’s true desires and direct them, control the outside rather than align internally.
From last month until now a lightness has taken hold. I didn’t try to change or alleviate my depression, I have had years of treating my depression like a fault of mine and I do not do that anymore. I invite it into the house, I allow it space to be, to breathe, to sink in and to settle. I don’t wallow and I don’t push it away.
As the depression wrapped itself around me like a woollen cloak, the kind that feels warm and familiar but continues to itch me in subtle and unkind ways, I shared with a few people close to my heart about what I was walking through.
I had started a 30 day Abraham Hicks challenge with my friends, and I continued to listen to the daily talks and I took a step back to watch how the combination of allowing depression to be and feeding my spirit would play out.
Things began to shift upwards in a relatively short span of time, though the shift was subtle in the beginning. I let go of trying to control and decided to watch how things would unfold. As the depression lessened it’s grip on me, I began to enjoy parts of my day and then before I knew it, the depression was gone and I was enjoying all of my day, for the most part, again. From that point on, the month became more and more exciting as my husband and I prepared for opening night for the play we were both acting in.
As this Crone Moon has come upon me the two major themes that are inspiring, uplifting and keeping me in my vortex are 1) the Golden Key and 2) artists.
The Crone Moon this month is in Aquarius, emotions, feminine energy, intuition, creativity and flow are all being influenced by the eccentric, revolutionary Goddess of liberation and freedom.
This is not normally a comfortable moon for me, Aquarius is much too detached for my super intense self to relate to, however, this year I am finding that the detached quality of Aquarius in the Crone Moon, the phase of the destroyer, is actually helping to lighten me, to lighten my mood and matters of the heart. As I’ve shared before, my moon is ruled by Taurus, matters of security and safety nag at me constantly, Aquarius is concerned with the whole and does not live within the confines of society, my heart feels liberated letting go of personal worries and concerns and dreaming of a new world order for the whole.
Crone Moons are when we would all bleed together in red tents traditionally, the Crone Moon would release the blood flow and anything that we had been holding onto that we were willing and ready to release would die away as we shed our blood and returned it to the Earth to be recycled back into pure Divine essence. The Crones of the community would teach the women as they bled, filling their emptying vessels with ancient knowledge and wisdom.
Thus when the Crone Moon rises in the sky, we are emptied, sometimes we bleed with the moon, but sometimes it is an energetic release only. The wisdom that descends down upon us from the Crone Moon can be received through meditation and Crone Moon ritual or ceremony. This month’s Crone is teaching us about becoming unconditioned and envisioning a new world.
So, how do my two focuses come into play with the energies of this month’s moon?
Firstly, let me share about the Golden Key. 13 years ago when I turned my entire life over to Spirit I dedicated my life to walking the path of Grace. At first I had no idea what that meant, I just knew in my womb that that was exactly what my life purpose was, to follow Grace. I meditated and prayed on the subject of Grace for the entire first year of my Spirit walk, in this year I discovered the Golden Key, a very simple and profoundly effective essay written years ago by Emmet Fox, the writing is quite old fashioned, but the method has never failed me, you can read the essay here: http://2travel.org/Files/EmmetFox/GoldenKey.pdf
When I first read that essay, 13 years ago, I was so inspired and hopeful at the prospect of life being that magically simple that whenever an issue would I would implement the Golden Key. My go to truth 90% of the time was an old line from the Bible “God’s grace is my sufficiency,” I believe the actual line is “God’s grace is sufficient unto me,” but I used the former as my truth to cling to. Over the years that has changed to “Goddess’ grace is my sufficiency,” or whatever I am calling Source in the moment, regardless that was the truth that I would turn to. What I experienced in my days of practicing the Golden Key was no less than a miracle, everything, I mean everything would work out in ways that I could never have imagined and in time my anxiety and need to control lessened significantly. However, as the years progressed I forgot the essence of the Golden Key and the truth that Goddess’ grace was my sufficiency, became an old affirmation that I would mutter to myself while my stomach knotted and I got to work trying to manage my life again, the phrase seemed to have lost it’s power in my life.
I am not a big affirmation person, maybe it’s because my ‘issues’ run so deep that saying a few inspirational words barely even distract me from what is occurring, whatever the reason affirmations don’t do much to get me into alignment. Over the past month as our little group of sisters were texting about the daily Abe recording, I mentioned the Golden Key and passed on the essay, I re-read it for the first time in years and suddenly I was re-inspired to try it again. When I turned back to my original truth about Source’s grace being my sufficiency the magic was back! Now I am watching every day as my human self jumps in with panic and starts to plan, how interrupting the planning and practicing the Golden Key with the truth about Source completely revolutionizes my day and frees me from worry and extra work within the social construct that doesn’t inspire me.
Aquarians are star beings, they live by a different code than humans do, they follow spirit and life is worn like a loose garment. The Aquarian light of the sun that has been beaming down, matched with the wisdom and psychic energy of the moon that she is now influencing has taken this Golden Key formula and released me from the bondage of the conditioning of the human world, it has released me from focusing on self and freed me to be of better service to others. As I think less about my own life, not because I don’t matter but because there is Something better equipped than me caring for me, I am able to serve more and I also have more room to be my authentic self. Being free from obsessing about my personal problems and struggles leaves space for expression and in my case, that is artistic expression.
Which leads me to my second focus this month, artists! I have hidden within my writing for years, I have written stories and poems and essays from the moment I could print. Writing is a need of mine, it is freeing, it releases me from my mind and it is a part of my soul. It is also solitary work and I have been squelching the rest of my artistic side for years behind my writing, using the writing as a justification for the blockages in the other artistic areas of my life. I stopped painting and drawing because I wasn’t that great. I gave up acting because I couldn’t get into the industry in the big city I was living in. Then I stopped talking about art with other artists, because it hurt too much. I justified my suppression with all of the writing and ceremony that I would do and as I continued to justify I began to freeze those area’s up inside of me, my juice began to solidify and I forgot what it felt like to be a wild and free artist.
A few months ago I visited the local theatre and art gallery in our small town (which I now live in) with my 2 year old and mother-in-law, my mother works for this cultural centre and gave us a tour. As we visited the theatre, a theatre that I used to act in when I was a teen, and I watched my daughter and mother playing around on stage, I welled up with the pain of knowing that I may never be on stage acting ever again. Angrily I said to her “I thought you were going to tell me about local auditions!” Long story short, there was a final audition in two days time for the community’s February play that hadn’t been fully cast yet. I hadn’t expected that response! Full of fear and nerves I decided to follow through with the longing inside and the demand I had made upon my mother to tell me about auditions. I auditioned alongside my husband and was cast in the lead role!
The past two months have been full of rehearsals and car rides home with me choking back tears as I was convinced I was letting my director, cast mates and my maiden self down. I pushed through, it was not as flowy as it was when I was a child. I worked hard to push myself out of my adult, introverted, locked up protective shell and embody the free-spirited juicy character that I was called to portray.
I am happy to share that two nights ago was closing night of the show. The play went amazingly well and I experienced everything that I love about theatre. The creativity, the fun, the freedom of escaping into a story and a character, the bondedness of a cast and the satisfaction of creating something new with life in it with a group of others, co-creating life with a group of artists.
I have met a community of artists now, they visit local plays and talk about art and artists and I see the merit and the spice that art and artists bring to the world.
I told myself for a long time that acting was something that was meant to bring me to my spiritual path, but that there was no deep merit to acting for my personal spiritual evolution or as a means to be of service to others.
It has become apparent to me, that anything that brings me into the vortex of joy, freedom and light connects me to my spirit and has merit in my deep life. The amount of energy that I had to conjure to portray my character for the entirety of the show created charisma, a youthful, juicy essence that burst through me, I am more like my Goddess self when I embody charisma and that is an essence that acting opens me up to. And, as for the world and my spiritual service to it, well it is stories, plays, novels and movies that have shaped our world in the direction of beauty, opened us up to empathize, to process our own wounds and stories, being a part of creating a picture that moves somebody, that inspires them, that brings them closer to their own authentic self is a great service to the world. Art, artists, theatre, writers, painters, and all manner of artists and works of art bring the spark of the Creator into reality in this third dimensional realm, what better gift than to have a piece of Source to touch, to witness, to experience while here on Earth to remind us that Source can be experienced while we are embodied.
It was a story that brought me to seek out the Goddess in the first place and that seeking has changed the entire course of my life. It was my imagination and my need to create other worlds that saved me in my darkest days and it is the stories that we tell in all manners that distract me from my busy head on days when I just can’t slow down long enough to meditate and get clear.
Tonight, as the Aquarius Crone Moon pulls at me I am giving her all of my walls to destroy, all of the egoic protective barriers that were erected between maidenhood and motherhood.
In order to get into character for the play, I had to let go of my frozen places, I had to become vulnerable, I had to be a raw open mould to be filled, I continue to give the walls that are still standing to the destroyer moon tonight, that I may be even more free to create, even cleaner, clearer and rawer than before.
When I looked out from the stage during warm ups on our closing night and saw my daughter watching as my cast mates and I walked around the stage humming and singing to warm up our throats I was just as full as I am when my daughter joins me for a spiritual ceremony, there is no difference to me between my art and my Priestessing, “this is the life I want us to be living,” I thought as I looked out at her, “this is the life we are going to live, this is the life we are living”.
I intend that I am living my life as a free and clear artist and Priestess. I intend that I am an open, vulnerable artist, here to be a conduit for Spirit to create through. I intend that I am living as a thriving artist, unconfined free from the box of the patriarchy, free to express myself in any and every way that I am moved to create.
Tonight I welcome the Aquarius Crone in and thank her for breaking me out of the shackles I swore to never let life bind me with, tonight I intend that we all break free of at least one area of constraint and bondage and create a world of magic, beauty, rawness and colour.
Be Free, Be True and Shine!
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
I was off by one day with this Crone Moon that is in Capricorn.
I have very little to say on the matter, this is the first Crone Moon (new moon) of 2016 and we are just getting fired into a Mercury retrograde. I feel icky, unsettled and off balanced. Life is going way too fast for me and I am seeking a balance between my will and the will of the Divine.
I am contemplating following my bliss and surrendering to a Divine Will that may seem contrary to what I want but ultimately be guiding me towards my highest good. I am trying to reconcile staying out of my will with making my own decisions.
The Crone Moon empties us as the wisdom of the ancestors fill us up, the Capricorn Goddess is the Crone, she is matriarch and she works hard to accomplish her goals.
Tonight I let go of my will, let go of what I think I want and open myself up to receiving some divine guidance.
I hope this moon is feeling gentler to you than it is to me.
Grace Be With You
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly