Aquarius Crone Moon, freedom through liberation.
Posted by priestessofgrace
It is not lost on me that my spirits have lifted significantly in the past month.
The Capricorn Crone Moon was a rough time for me, depression was setting in and life felt heavy, full of unwanted and unintended situations, it was so intense that I almost couldn’t breathe. To compound this was the fact that I longed to control and shift my experience with the full understanding that the only way my reality shifts is to step out of it and back into the spirit realm. Yet all I wanted to do was to draw a map for the people and situations in my life that were unfolding opposed to my heart’s true desires and direct them, control the outside rather than align internally.
From last month until now a lightness has taken hold. I didn’t try to change or alleviate my depression, I have had years of treating my depression like a fault of mine and I do not do that anymore. I invite it into the house, I allow it space to be, to breathe, to sink in and to settle. I don’t wallow and I don’t push it away.
As the depression wrapped itself around me like a woollen cloak, the kind that feels warm and familiar but continues to itch me in subtle and unkind ways, I shared with a few people close to my heart about what I was walking through.
I had started a 30 day Abraham Hicks challenge with my friends, and I continued to listen to the daily talks and I took a step back to watch how the combination of allowing depression to be and feeding my spirit would play out.
Things began to shift upwards in a relatively short span of time, though the shift was subtle in the beginning. I let go of trying to control and decided to watch how things would unfold. As the depression lessened it’s grip on me, I began to enjoy parts of my day and then before I knew it, the depression was gone and I was enjoying all of my day, for the most part, again. From that point on, the month became more and more exciting as my husband and I prepared for opening night for the play we were both acting in.
As this Crone Moon has come upon me the two major themes that are inspiring, uplifting and keeping me in my vortex are 1) the Golden Key and 2) artists.
The Crone Moon this month is in Aquarius, emotions, feminine energy, intuition, creativity and flow are all being influenced by the eccentric, revolutionary Goddess of liberation and freedom.
This is not normally a comfortable moon for me, Aquarius is much too detached for my super intense self to relate to, however, this year I am finding that the detached quality of Aquarius in the Crone Moon, the phase of the destroyer, is actually helping to lighten me, to lighten my mood and matters of the heart. As I’ve shared before, my moon is ruled by Taurus, matters of security and safety nag at me constantly, Aquarius is concerned with the whole and does not live within the confines of society, my heart feels liberated letting go of personal worries and concerns and dreaming of a new world order for the whole.
Crone Moons are when we would all bleed together in red tents traditionally, the Crone Moon would release the blood flow and anything that we had been holding onto that we were willing and ready to release would die away as we shed our blood and returned it to the Earth to be recycled back into pure Divine essence. The Crones of the community would teach the women as they bled, filling their emptying vessels with ancient knowledge and wisdom.
Thus when the Crone Moon rises in the sky, we are emptied, sometimes we bleed with the moon, but sometimes it is an energetic release only. The wisdom that descends down upon us from the Crone Moon can be received through meditation and Crone Moon ritual or ceremony. This month’s Crone is teaching us about becoming unconditioned and envisioning a new world.
So, how do my two focuses come into play with the energies of this month’s moon?
Firstly, let me share about the Golden Key. 13 years ago when I turned my entire life over to Spirit I dedicated my life to walking the path of Grace. At first I had no idea what that meant, I just knew in my womb that that was exactly what my life purpose was, to follow Grace. I meditated and prayed on the subject of Grace for the entire first year of my Spirit walk, in this year I discovered the Golden Key, a very simple and profoundly effective essay written years ago by Emmet Fox, the writing is quite old fashioned, but the method has never failed me, you can read the essay here: http://2travel.org/Files/EmmetFox/GoldenKey.pdf
When I first read that essay, 13 years ago, I was so inspired and hopeful at the prospect of life being that magically simple that whenever an issue would I would implement the Golden Key. My go to truth 90% of the time was an old line from the Bible “God’s grace is my sufficiency,” I believe the actual line is “God’s grace is sufficient unto me,” but I used the former as my truth to cling to. Over the years that has changed to “Goddess’ grace is my sufficiency,” or whatever I am calling Source in the moment, regardless that was the truth that I would turn to. What I experienced in my days of practicing the Golden Key was no less than a miracle, everything, I mean everything would work out in ways that I could never have imagined and in time my anxiety and need to control lessened significantly. However, as the years progressed I forgot the essence of the Golden Key and the truth that Goddess’ grace was my sufficiency, became an old affirmation that I would mutter to myself while my stomach knotted and I got to work trying to manage my life again, the phrase seemed to have lost it’s power in my life.
I am not a big affirmation person, maybe it’s because my ‘issues’ run so deep that saying a few inspirational words barely even distract me from what is occurring, whatever the reason affirmations don’t do much to get me into alignment. Over the past month as our little group of sisters were texting about the daily Abe recording, I mentioned the Golden Key and passed on the essay, I re-read it for the first time in years and suddenly I was re-inspired to try it again. When I turned back to my original truth about Source’s grace being my sufficiency the magic was back! Now I am watching every day as my human self jumps in with panic and starts to plan, how interrupting the planning and practicing the Golden Key with the truth about Source completely revolutionizes my day and frees me from worry and extra work within the social construct that doesn’t inspire me.
Aquarians are star beings, they live by a different code than humans do, they follow spirit and life is worn like a loose garment. The Aquarian light of the sun that has been beaming down, matched with the wisdom and psychic energy of the moon that she is now influencing has taken this Golden Key formula and released me from the bondage of the conditioning of the human world, it has released me from focusing on self and freed me to be of better service to others. As I think less about my own life, not because I don’t matter but because there is Something better equipped than me caring for me, I am able to serve more and I also have more room to be my authentic self. Being free from obsessing about my personal problems and struggles leaves space for expression and in my case, that is artistic expression.
Which leads me to my second focus this month, artists! I have hidden within my writing for years, I have written stories and poems and essays from the moment I could print. Writing is a need of mine, it is freeing, it releases me from my mind and it is a part of my soul. It is also solitary work and I have been squelching the rest of my artistic side for years behind my writing, using the writing as a justification for the blockages in the other artistic areas of my life. I stopped painting and drawing because I wasn’t that great. I gave up acting because I couldn’t get into the industry in the big city I was living in. Then I stopped talking about art with other artists, because it hurt too much. I justified my suppression with all of the writing and ceremony that I would do and as I continued to justify I began to freeze those area’s up inside of me, my juice began to solidify and I forgot what it felt like to be a wild and free artist.
A few months ago I visited the local theatre and art gallery in our small town (which I now live in) with my 2 year old and mother-in-law, my mother works for this cultural centre and gave us a tour. As we visited the theatre, a theatre that I used to act in when I was a teen, and I watched my daughter and mother playing around on stage, I welled up with the pain of knowing that I may never be on stage acting ever again. Angrily I said to her “I thought you were going to tell me about local auditions!” Long story short, there was a final audition in two days time for the community’s February play that hadn’t been fully cast yet. I hadn’t expected that response! Full of fear and nerves I decided to follow through with the longing inside and the demand I had made upon my mother to tell me about auditions. I auditioned alongside my husband and was cast in the lead role!
The past two months have been full of rehearsals and car rides home with me choking back tears as I was convinced I was letting my director, cast mates and my maiden self down. I pushed through, it was not as flowy as it was when I was a child. I worked hard to push myself out of my adult, introverted, locked up protective shell and embody the free-spirited juicy character that I was called to portray.
I am happy to share that two nights ago was closing night of the show. The play went amazingly well and I experienced everything that I love about theatre. The creativity, the fun, the freedom of escaping into a story and a character, the bondedness of a cast and the satisfaction of creating something new with life in it with a group of others, co-creating life with a group of artists.
I have met a community of artists now, they visit local plays and talk about art and artists and I see the merit and the spice that art and artists bring to the world.
I told myself for a long time that acting was something that was meant to bring me to my spiritual path, but that there was no deep merit to acting for my personal spiritual evolution or as a means to be of service to others.
It has become apparent to me, that anything that brings me into the vortex of joy, freedom and light connects me to my spirit and has merit in my deep life. The amount of energy that I had to conjure to portray my character for the entirety of the show created charisma, a youthful, juicy essence that burst through me, I am more like my Goddess self when I embody charisma and that is an essence that acting opens me up to. And, as for the world and my spiritual service to it, well it is stories, plays, novels and movies that have shaped our world in the direction of beauty, opened us up to empathize, to process our own wounds and stories, being a part of creating a picture that moves somebody, that inspires them, that brings them closer to their own authentic self is a great service to the world. Art, artists, theatre, writers, painters, and all manner of artists and works of art bring the spark of the Creator into reality in this third dimensional realm, what better gift than to have a piece of Source to touch, to witness, to experience while here on Earth to remind us that Source can be experienced while we are embodied.
It was a story that brought me to seek out the Goddess in the first place and that seeking has changed the entire course of my life. It was my imagination and my need to create other worlds that saved me in my darkest days and it is the stories that we tell in all manners that distract me from my busy head on days when I just can’t slow down long enough to meditate and get clear.
Tonight, as the Aquarius Crone Moon pulls at me I am giving her all of my walls to destroy, all of the egoic protective barriers that were erected between maidenhood and motherhood.
In order to get into character for the play, I had to let go of my frozen places, I had to become vulnerable, I had to be a raw open mould to be filled, I continue to give the walls that are still standing to the destroyer moon tonight, that I may be even more free to create, even cleaner, clearer and rawer than before.
When I looked out from the stage during warm ups on our closing night and saw my daughter watching as my cast mates and I walked around the stage humming and singing to warm up our throats I was just as full as I am when my daughter joins me for a spiritual ceremony, there is no difference to me between my art and my Priestessing, “this is the life I want us to be living,” I thought as I looked out at her, “this is the life we are going to live, this is the life we are living”.
I intend that I am living my life as a free and clear artist and Priestess. I intend that I am an open, vulnerable artist, here to be a conduit for Spirit to create through. I intend that I am living as a thriving artist, unconfined free from the box of the patriarchy, free to express myself in any and every way that I am moved to create.
Tonight I welcome the Aquarius Crone in and thank her for breaking me out of the shackles I swore to never let life bind me with, tonight I intend that we all break free of at least one area of constraint and bondage and create a world of magic, beauty, rawness and colour.
Be Free, Be True and Shine!
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
Posted on February 9, 2016, in Crone Moon Messages and tagged acting, aquarius, aquarius crone, aquarius crone moon, art, artists, crone, crone moon, depression, freedom, liberation, theatre. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.