Gemini Mother Moon, finding Freedom to just Be.

Can you feel that wild and playful Mother Moon in the sky tonight?! I can, Gemini Mother Moon is here to play and to get us thinking, thinking, thinking and doing, doing, doing.

As I mentioned in my latest Crone Moon post, my cycle is the opposite of the moon’s, so while the moon is fertile tonight, I began my moontime exactly today. Thus I begin my energetic release on the Crone Moon and finalize my intention on the Mother Moon. My Scorpio Crone Moon intention was to release my anxiety cycle, the conditioned response to life’s happier and lighter moments to seeking out the next unsafe moment and starting up a cycle of anxiety.

As the past two weeks have unfolded I have witnessed how I have simultaneously felt safer and more secure than I ever have before and more aware of this anxiety cycle than ever before.

I have been more settled and content and happy than ever, and as I sat in this comfort and content I witnessed myself jump back into the anxiety cycle. While this cycle is obviously quite familiar, this felt like the final pull, like the illusion and lack of choice about this cycle was ending. I was out of my body witnessing myself wind out of control, pleading with my husband to make it go away, to discuss all of our alternative plans for worst case scenario and yet it was all so distant and foreign to me, like I was watching a play on a stage unfold. At the end of a very long night of ‘discussing’ I looked at my Beloved and said “but what really changed here? All we did was talk until I wore myself out.” In hindsight what had happened was that we had taken time to connect after our daughter was in bed, we had put our marriage before relaxing on the couch and though I had been in my anxiety cycle, once I got through it to the end we both remembered our first blossom of love, how little anything else beyond our love had mattered. We stayed up looking at old pictures and reminisced about how magical falling in love was.

This topic brought me back to a big lesson I am working on, loving in the face of all challenging human experiences. I ask myself, how can I love better in this situation and it automatically highlights choices contrary to those that my ego would take. As my Beloved and I fell into one another’s arms I somehow felt that all would be well and didn’t think about the busy topics in my mind. The next day he was told he wasn’t needed for work, and the three of us just enjoyed the extra day with Daddy free of my worry about finances and the upcoming winter months, the following day we received great news financially and all, as always, was proven to be well.

As my moontime began today I observed how light it is and how light I feel, while I generally have easy moontimes, today, I am feeling the Gemini Moon energy and I feel lighter energetically than I normally would on the first day of my moontime. I am releasing the end of that anxiety cycle and looking at what this energetic and fertile moon is offering me, energetically we are all being fertilized right now.

Gemini is a foreign energy to me, I don’t have Gemini in any of my planets or houses, though two out of the three sisterfriends of mine are Gemini, so I understand from a distance this energy. Despite the foreign personal nature to me, upon reflection I have a lot of Gemini activities occurring right now, four writing projects to complete in the next week and a half, I have been casted as the lead role in a play to be performed in two months and have three rehearsals a week to participate in, as well as maintaining a rhythmic Waldorf home for my family as I make Christmas preparations for the month ahead.. Life is busy right now, but it is fun, just like Gemini.

The Mother Moon teaches us to balance, with a Gemini Mother Moon we are balancing Gemini Lunar energy with Sagittarius Solar energy we are being called to balance the desire to do a lot and to think a lot with the impulse to create adventures and engage in projects that inspire us in philosophical matters. We are being inspired and moved to do a lot and with the moon and the sun calling up so much energy and offering us all of this mental food we are headed straight towards burn out if we don’t stop to give some of this energy to ourselves.

That very subject is what I was contemplating this week as I was feeling so at the end of my patience rope with my daughter at nighttime. She has been extra needy and not wanting me to leave bed and waking frequently and I’ve just felt like I need a moment to myself. I was confused because I’ve had more time apart from her than ever with these rehearsals, and I love acting, it is so much fun and something that I’ve missed dearly, I wasn’t getting why having these three hour breaks to go out and play through my acting wasn’t counteracting my impatience at night. What I realized as I was praying through the impatience in bed, was that, while a lot of fun, acting still requires that I give my all, my creativity, my imagination, my energy, my focus, my heart and soul, this is now a new area that I am giving out my energy. Being introverted becoming drained is a particularly sensitive possibility for me. I began to see how, like the Gemini Maiden that was bursting into full moon light, I too was getting so excited with how good things are feeling in my life that I was forgetting that I need time to reboot, alone time to reboot.

My husband and I have our evenings together (though they do start late depending on when our little love decides she is ready for bed) and it is a necessity, it feeds our bond and our love bank, yet, even that isn’t enough for refilling my tank, I need some solitary time for myself.

That is the big lesson that I am taking out of tonight’s Mother Moon, Gemini Mother is reminding me that having fun is a wonderful experience in life, for myself in particular, somebody who has been heavy and serious for much of my life, having fun and enjoying life is a great merit of success, yet it must be tempered with relaxation, rest and time with myself and my Creator.

I have just re-started the Course in Miracles daily lessons this week, just those few days of beginning have started to make a shift, so has my realization that it is not only okay, but necessary for this Mama, Wife, Homemaker, Priestess, Writer, Actor, ad infinitum to have time to myself, unstructured free time to just be. Owning this truth is invigorating me with a new sense of freedom.

Freedom is a key component in the Gemini Archetype’s life mission, tonight I am finding freedom in claiming that space for myself. I feel as though there is one final lesson that is being sparked within me right now, part of it is inspired by a book that I am being a sounding board for as it is being written, a wonderfully powerful memoir called I Am Bliss, written by Bliss Prema, (you can see a sneak peak about what this powerful memoir is all about here: https://vimeo.com/122687559). Without giving away any of her personal wisdom, her words had me reflecting on my inner voice, the tendency that I have to consistently check in with how I think others are feeling towards me. I have learnt how irritating it can be to be constantly asked “is everything okay?” and so I don’t ask others how they are feeling towards me, but I’m often investigating, asking little questions, feeling out how I perceive they are feeling towards me.

I caught myself twice today, once as I was about to call my Grandma. My daughter and I were out having a lovely and unseasonably warm morning at the park and baseball diamond, I was committed to not putting a time restraint on her play and she was in Heaven. I observed my desire to fill the quiet and slow time with tasks on my phone, I resisted, then the thought popped into my head that my Grandma had seemed ‘off’ towards me last night, I was going to give a quick call and just feel things out, maybe say or do something to get her re-connected to me. How utterly co-dependent and self-centred?! She has just returned from a trip out East and it was late last night when I had seen her and she’s old, I’m sure intellectually it had nothing to do with me, and yet this unconscious wounded part of me was about to call her. The other time that I caught myself today was in thinking about a woman in my life that texts me constantly and hasn’t initiated the past few days. Despite knowing how busy she is at work I replayed our previous texts over in my head, attempting to decipher which one had turned her off. Not only is this insane, it takes up so much energy! Tonight when I was about to ask my husband about her, I paused and a thought came rushing up from within my soul, “who cares?” I know I didn’t do anything to either of these two people, it has nothing to do with me. The freedom to stop focusing on what and how others perceive me or feel about me is so hopeful for me and I feel the lunar power of the Gemini Mother Moon sparking this possibility within.

This is my Gemini Mother Moon intention, freedom to claim space for myself to be and freedom from focusing on how I perceive others perceiving me.

I would love feedback, how is the Gemini Mother Moon lighting you up tonight? What is being inspired within you? Is freedom making itself known to you as well? Drop a note and let me know how the rest of our tribe is integrating tonight’s playful and energetic Mother Moon.

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
image taken from: https://journeywithladymaya.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/full-moon-in-gemini.jpg

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Posted on November 26, 2015, in Mother Moon Messages and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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