It’s been a while since I have made the choice (just crossed out the words ‘had a chance’, I’ve been in an *initiatory program led by Bliss Prema and one of the focuses that has been coming up for me is taking accountability for all of the circumstances of my life), to sit down and write a blog post about the Crone Moon. I’ve been upgrading older Priestess Page posts on the Mother and Crone Moons, and I’ve been busy holding online workshops, community workshops, leading Goddess Gatherings and now doing a weekly live show on my Priestess page, add onto that mothering my two best gals and wifing my Beloved who has landed his dream job and life is just one big Heavenly gift right now!
I began this blog right around the time that I had moved back to my small hometown, we came here with no jobs lined up, moved in with my parents and I intended to find a community, even if it was just one or two other women. This city is in the bible belt and I did not have very high memories of the people that inhabited it, of course, we attract where we are at and when I moved back here I was light years from the wounded, easily victimized Maiden that I had once been.
Over the past few years the Goddess Gatherings have gone from slowly budding to blossoming into a thriving group of women that continues to expand, the homeschooling community that was inactive when we moved back has (as grace would have it) suddenly revived itself just in time for my eldest to begin her homeschooling journey in September. My husband worked long and gruelling hours being paid a tight wage in the hot and humid southern summers and was laid off in our frigid winters, times have been lean and I have spent the past almost three years aiming to get away from spilling my Earthly fears onto him and back into trusting that grace will provide. After the birth of our second born, a trying pregnancy and traumatic birth, this Pisces soul that came through me began to open me up and guide me back into surrender. The past year has been transformative.
And here we are, my husband in his new job, my Priestess practice thriving, my children and I gleefully skipping through our days (for the most part) my soul deepening it’s learning opportunities and voila the final moon of the lunar year is nigh. This Pisces moon is about releasing into the Heavenly realms, about giving up all attachments to anything but Source and falling into the bliss that is the higher frequency realms, being in such a joyful state as of late this seems like an easy proposition. However, Pisces teaches us all that feelings aren’t facts, and while I’m feeling good, enlightenment is far from emanating from me as of yet.
With joy radiating throughout my being in this moment of time I take stock of the area’s in my life where attachment, addiction and unconscious habits/patterns exist and I ask myself, am I ready to give this up?
In conversation with my good friend Bliss I am reminded of the fact that I very much do still have an attachment to my children, it is the greatest one that I have, and while that may seem normal and right, from the highest perspective we are called to hold no person or thing above our relationship with the All. My aim is to release as much attachment to them as I can on this Crone Moon eve, this does NOT mean releasing love, or time, or parental responsibility, or hopes or dreams or joys with them, it means sifting through all of the love, joy and maternal bonding and finding the sticky areas that are holding them in bondage to me, to my will, to my need and to my fear of loss. It is giving them back to the Almighty and remembering that I am a trusted servant, standing in for the Mother of All for my two girls. I recalled the story of Abraham to Bliss over the phone the other day in a conversation, how God called Abraham to sacrifice his son to him on the mountain top, the beloved son Abraham had waited years for. Of course when Abraham woefully but willingly brought his son up to the mountain he was not required to do any such thing, the story is a metaphor for our willingness to release our most prized attachments on Earth into the care of the Mother and recognize ourselves as conduit’s of Her presence, as Kahil Gibran writes “ They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” I haven’t wanted to really touch that truth, and yet, here it is in my awareness and so I will begin my deep dive into the attachment that I have to my girls.
Addiction is a close acquaintance of mine, I don’t drink, use drugs or smoke. The ‘big’ ones make it easy for me to deny my addictions, in the face of some postpartum flub that wasn’t moving I was drawn to Intermittent Fasting and it became apparent to me quite quickly that this was going to be much more than a weight loss tool, it was an awakener. As I began to journey into a fasting lifestyle I came face to face with the ways that I turn to food or avoid it in an attempt to manage overwhelm, even more so than food has been my relationship to drinks. Creamy cocoa and fizzy soda stream being the main ones and because these beverages are sugar free or sweetened with honey and seeming like a healthy alternative, I was missing the addictive manner in which I drank them. The creamy sweet honey cocoa gave me an energy boost and comforted me during the slump of my day, the sweet fizzy soda stream added to a sense of surface enjoyment as I lose myself in the realm of Netflix. I am coming face to face with an awareness of addictive tendencies and beginning to discern moderation and how to first go within to my inner Source for comfort and enjoyment.
Finally comes my habits and patterns that have been unconscious until of late. The big one that is coming to the surface for review and transmutation is a barrier that I put up between myself and others. On my live feed last week I pulled the connection card from the 13 Moon Oracle deck, I channeled a message about all roads leading back to the one Source and how we are all interconnected, yet as my week has progressed I am aware of the ways that I close myself off rather than opening into connection with others. I have been stepping into vulnerable honesty and connecting at a more intimate level with others as an experiment. I won’t lie, it feels awful! So much so that I was going to stop, however, the other night when I sat down in my nightly mediation, an opening occurred that was so much more vast and loving than I have experienced in years, the love that I was able to tap into from the Divine was a blessing and I knew to my bones that that opening was only made available because of the opening that I have been creating with the people in my life, those that I am in close relationship with and those that I meet briefly. My pattern of closing down is one that I am releasing to this wise Pisces Crone Moon, the moon that brings us back Home, to the gates of paradise.
There it is folks, that is my journey for the end of this lunar cycle, I would love to hear about what it is that you will be releasing, your attachments, addictions and habits/patterns, how are you releasing your hold on this realm so as to merge fully into the Heavenly realms? And what do you envision for the upcoming new lunar year on the horizon? I envision a year of joy, lightness and sweetness, I envision life getting brighter and more fluid and conscious than ever before.
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
* to sign up for Bliss Prema’s Initiator Program and De-Program, visit her page at: