This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Astrological Goddesses, Taurus Goddess Archetype

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Astrological Goddesses, Taurus Goddess Archetype

Sweetness and Light, the depths of Joy at Beltane

Beltane is Samhain’s opposite festival, where Samhain opens up the veils to allow the dead to rise and the darkness to descend, Beltane opens up the veils and allows the fey to rise and the light to ascend.

Beltane seems to be the one festival out of the eight on the wheel of the year that I easily miss or discount, at the beginning of May I am either processing the spring anxiety that can come and grab me, or I am just out and enjoying the changing weather and not truly aware of the shifting of the wheel.

The depth involved in Beltane has often alluded me just as the Taurean mysteries often do. Being a Scorpio Sun with a Taurus Moon, understanding both sides of these opposing energies is an important life lesson of mine. Since the dawning of my awareness of astrology and my personal astrological make-up, Scorpio has been the sign that I identified the easiest with, being my soul energy sign and such an intense one it is easy to understand why this would be, Taurus has easily been left as a secondary energy, one that I placed after Scorpio.

I get the depths in mystery, darkness, the underworld, my shadow, my unconscious, dreams and swirling oceans that never end which Scorpio and Samhian encompass. The depths of joy, merriment, romance, love, blossoming, celebration and light magic that Taurus and Beltane encompass have seemed a little too ‘nice’, too ‘sweet’ for such a heavy and intense person as I.

However, as my Goddess path unfolded before me I began to weary of having struggles and challenges be my catalyst for growth and transformation, I began to wonder if joy couldn’t be a touchstone for spiritual growth, I wanted joy to be my new touchstone for growth, I wanted to be so joyful that I was compelled to open even wider, to raise up in vibration even higher, if challenges could be a touchstone for spiritual growth, surely blessings actualized could be as well, couldn’t they?

That idea was my first inkling of what kinds of depths this Beltane day could offer me. The closest I have come to experiencing what I believe the essence of this day holds for us all is when I fell in love with my husband. I always expected falling in love to be a passionate, all encompassing, drink each other’s blood kind of obsessive merging for me. While we never drank each other’s blood, there definitely was that passion and obsession that I had imagined I would experience when I fell in love, but there was also sweetness, lightness, innocence and playfulness, aspects of myself that I hadn’t known since I was too young to remember clearly. Not only could I barely remember those aspects of myself, they were aspects that I had shut down at an early age, aspects that had made me feel vulnerable and unsafe in what was a cruel reality that I first arrived in. When I sat down on my first date with my husband, he and I had a moment where our eyes locked and no words came, we just held each other’s gaze and I felt the air element as my heart chakra burst open wide, in that moment I realized that I had never felt someone open my heart before, all of my previous romantic encounters had been of the second chakra variety. With my heart opening came an instant return to innocence and my husband and I enjoyed a good three years of the ‘honeymoon’ phase, sweetness and light filled our lives and sweetness and light is what I believe Beltane calls up and brings back to Earth each time the Wheel of the Year returns to the first of May.

I have felt far from sweetness and light as of yet, in fact I have felt very dark and heavy, dark and heavy in the way that I did before entering my conscious path. It did not feel like my natural state anymore, yet I could not find my way above water. After a year long pregnancy (one miscarriage followed by another pregnancy) fraught with complications, a traumatic birth, a newborn in the NICU for a week and then what felt like a crushing case of Postpartum Anxiety and a potentially colicky newborn all of the lights seemed to be going out for me. Like the Swamp of Sorrows from the Neverending Story I began to really sink into dread, remorse and hopelessness. I got lost in the past, how joyful I once was, how in love I once was, how free I once was, how much fun my first born and I once had, and down I went.

Finally I got serious about getting out of the swamp. I took the practical steps needed, visited a homeopath, reached out to my women and shared where I was at, called on my spiritual guides, told the doctor, started taking my vitamins and probiotics, started eating very healthy. I also did everything I could to support my emotional, mental and spiritual health. I prayed, meditated, did breath transmutation work, and became diligent about being in the now. I began to feel some relief and then this past week I started to pray that the Holy Spirit would enter my hormones and started to notice a huge shift, these were all hopeful steps in the right direction for me.

Suddenly this morning I woke up, the first one awake in the house, my baby was asleep beside me, my husband and three year old were cuddling asleep in the other room and I scanned my body to find that not only was there no anxiety or dread, there was energy and joy. I breathed it in, afraid to even admit it to myself at first, energy and joy was the last of a tiny list of intentions that I had written for myself during a surrender exercise I had read in the book Letting Go, the Pathway to Surrender, and here I was on Beltane morning waking up with energy and joy.

As I enjoyed a rain day with my husband home from work, snuggled my sleeping newborn throughout the day, took a nature walk and marvelled at the lushness that is life at this time of year with my three year old and celebrated the birth of my ever warm and loving Beltane birthday Mother I knew in a way I have never known before that there is depth in joy, there is necessity in joy, there is wisdom in joy, as deep and profound as any darkness I have surrendered to in my life.

I spent years as a young woman negating the light aspects of life, viewing it as frivolous and lacking in true meaning or purpose, I was scared of the light, unbeknownst to me I wasn’t strong enough to be open and vulnerable in the sweetness and light of life.

Thanks to the Creator for leading me to this path, the many years I have followed the Wheel of the Year has opened me up to the vibrational changes that happen as the wheel turns and Beltane caught me right at the perfect moment, when I was open and raw and desperate for sweetness and light to re-enter my experience.

Today is a new beginning for me, I am celebrating all of the life that has bloomed in my life, my house overflows with young, budding, innocence, two beautiful Maidens at home. New love is flourishing as my husband and I reconnect to our dreams and share our mutual dreams of the future with each other.

Today, on Beltane, I am reminded that an intention of joy serves not only me, but the entire world, I see that on the smiles that are reflected back to me when my three year old sees me light up rather than tense up, I see it in the relaxed muscles of my husband’s face as my daughter and I shout “thank you Mother Nature” out the window, thanking her for sending rain so that we can spend the day with him, rather than nag at him about the money we aren’t making that day. I feel it in the ease with which my newborn curls up in my arms and sleeps for hours on end as she goes through her growth spurt.

Beltane may be the most personally profound of days for me on the Wheel of the Year now, sweetness and light, energy and joy, my newest life intentions, intentions that I plan to see reflected back to me in a sweet and light new world as we continue to evolve as a community of souls. Beltane may just be exactly what our world needs now, it’s definitely what my world needed today.

To each and every one of you,

Merriest of Beltane’s Ever!

Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly
artist: Josephine Wall

Today on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: The Wheel of the Year, Beltaine

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Seasonal Mysteries, Easter Messages

Tonight on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Moon Mysteries, Libra Mother Moon

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Seasonal Mysteries, Spring’s Innocence

This Week on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Seasonal Mysteries, Spring’s Innocence

Today on Priestess of Grace’s Facebook Page: Goddess of the Week, Persephone

Initiation and Destruction, the Aries Crone Moon.

The Aries Crone Moon is a contradictory one, this moon phase is ruled by the Crone archetype, the wise old Grandmother archetype and is under the influence of the baby of the zodiac, Aries, the youngest Maiden sign we have.

Aries is the initiator and the Crone is the destroyer. Tonight’s Crone Moon promises to both destroy and initiate.

I think of this moon as the beginning of a new 13 cycle moon cycle.

The moon rules the emotions and I have been looking to see how this intense and fearless spring energy of Aries is affecting my emotional realm. The Crone is comfortable to me, as a Scorpio the energy of destruction is familiar and the introverted darkness of a Crone moon feels safe and cozy, whereas the blazing bright burst of Aries fire that calls in the Springtime and begins our new moon cycle of the year feels jarring and gets me antsy and my emotions have been reflecting this.

This year I am encountering the Aries Crone Moon right in the midst of an intense 40 day lie in post partum period. I have my newest little Maiden at home, not yet three weeks old and my older 3.5 year old powerful Maiden bouncing all over the house as I rest (thank Goddess the husband is home for the next month) and slowly heal not only my physical wounds from a second c-section, but also my emotional and psychological wounds after a traumatizing first week of my daughter’s life. (An hour after birthing her she was rushed to the NICU and it was a week of darkness and terror as I prayed and hoped for her to be released and to come home with us as I waited to see if her tiny little body would strengthen and thrive.)

My daughter’s challenge was foretold to me through a teacher of mine that offered a Spirit Reading before her birth, the spirits called it a ‘hiccup’ and assured me that it would clear up in a week’s time and sure enough everything that was channeled came true.

Now, it’s happily ever after…..except, this is life and when the intense relief and joy began to level out and life as I know it began to take on what is becoming a new rhythm in the house, the rest of the emotional gamete of life post partum has begun to unfold.

The intensity of the Aries Sun, the brightness of longer days and now the emotional influence of Aries in the Crone moon is making my ‘peaceful’ 40 day lie in quite a bit more difficult than it was the first time. I want to be up and about, yet I want my daughter having the time to adjust to the world and to receive the same long lengths of skin to skin and nursing and quiet that my first did. The wonderful spike of estrogen that I received as my milk came in, paired with the long stretches of gassy burping and soothing in the middle of the night that my newborn requires, has made for a much more emotionally quick responding and harsher toned Mama than I like to be with my 3.5 year old, who has been immensely patient throughout my difficult pregnancy and the intense week of her sister’s first week of life and all in all the 40 day lie in has been more of a challenge to sit and be with what is than it was with my first daughter who I just kinda sunk into baby bliss with.

I observe my reactions and from an observatory perspective marvel that my ideals are falling so short of what is being expressed through me.

I feel this contradictory wise Crone energy and young Aries energy in my intentions. I am working out a late night/early morning spiritual routine to see me through the long stretches of newborn gassiness, a way to tap into something internal and powerful as I loose the amount of sleep I have become accustomed to, (my first and I slept so much!). This is one intention I have, and yet the emotional velocity of intense feelings surrounding the impatience I experience with the long spells at night, the snappiness I have in response to the yelling of my 3.5 year old during the day and the intense fears that come up surrounding my healing and potentially being hospitalized again (a bit of ptsd from the birth and a long medical challenge as a child), has what and how I’m feeling at opposing ends of what and how I am intending spiritually.

As these energies come to a head tonight I am working to honour what I feel, while slowing down the expression and taking time to contain and digest my emotions as they rise to the surface. I am also intending to utilize the fearless and ambitious nature of the Aries archetype to take a great leap into deepening my spiritual practices to see me through this fourth trimester and to raise me to the top of this new challenge victorious and brighter than ever.

I release the charge that the emotional realm has held over me and I turn my attention towards strengthening my spirit. I release my attachment to the old way and embrace the newness that the reborn Aries archetype welcomes in, opening to a new experience as a family, a mother and a woman of the great Allness as I learn how to give the soul of my newborn exactly what she needs, how she needs it while still showing up for my family and myself in the process.

For tonight, I dance between the wisdom of the Crone and the innocence of the Maiden.

How are these energies affecting you? What are your intentions for this Aries Crone Moon?
Grace Be With You,
Priestess of Grace,
Candise Soaring Butterfly

image taken from: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/11/42/6b/11426bc367a6864785cee9c3dce0a5e6.jpg